Obtain the Unobtainable
by GraydonGirl
Summary: The kids at my old school say I’m unobtainable. They’d all say it’s easier to just give up on me than to date me.But do you know what I say? I say that if someone really wants to be with you, they don’t give up... No matter what. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_The kids at my old school say I'm unobtainable. Even my best friend used to tease me about it. They'd all say it's easier to just give up on me than to date me. But do you know what I say? I say that if someone really wants to be with you, they don't give up. No matter how long it takes. I'm not unobtainable; I'm just… stubborn you could say. _

_Spencer Carlin, that's my name. It's my first day at this new high school. King High. It must have taken a genius to come up with a name as simple as that. So my story you ask? Same story, different girl, my mom got a job transfer that we couldn't pass up. Me and my family moved here from Ohio, whoop-dee-doo. It's me, my parents and my two brothers, Clay and Glen. They're not bad sometimes… well Glen is, but Clay's pretty cool, but that's probably just because he's adopted. Lucky him. _

_I walk down the halls to my locker. I had come to register at the school yesterday and along the way the principal helped me locate my locker. I know, it's lame that I need help from the principal himself, but what ever; no one was around to see. So far I've been at this school for about 10 minutes now, and I know two people… my brothers. I'm looking at the familiar lockers and I remember mine's the one that has something scraped in it. It looks like it was done with pen, but I remember it because it almost looks like a heart. I pulled out the piece of paper from my pocket with my combination on it. _

_I try once, but it doesn't open. I try again but it doesn't open. I try a third time and now I'm about ready to karate chop this thing because it STILL won't open. I see a couple of girls giggle at me from the corner of my eye. Yeah, that's right laugh at the new girl who looks like she's about to start punching her locker in. I hate girls like that._

_I try the combination a fourth time, this time much slower, thinking that's going to make a difference. But of course it doesn't because right about now it still isn't opening, I'm about to give up and just carry all of my books to class when one of the girls who was giggling at me came over. _

"you new?" she asks. She's about my height, dark hair, bad ass style. Not bad looking though. Oh yeah, did I mention I'm gay? It was actually kind of funny to see the look on my mom's face that day, but that's another story. I look back at the girl, but I don't say anything back to her. She knows I caught her laughing at me, and knows I already don't like her.

"listen, I don't think your combination is going to work" she says.

"oh and why not?" I ask with a whole lot of attitude and no fear.

"because this is my locker" she says and takes the piece of paper out of my hand. Let me tell you, I feel like a complete idiot. "locker 1332" she reads and points to the locker next to hers.

_Great, I'm new and now I look like a freakin' retard. Way to impress the hot girl Spencer. Note to self: give self pat on back later. I guess my locker was the locker NEXT to the locker with the heart etched into it._

I take the note back from her hand and try it on the locker next to hers. Just as I get it open, and on the first try, might I add, the bell rings. The girl who helped me looks up as if she could see the sound waves the bell rings.

"well I better go…"

"yeah" I said a little coldly. For some reason I couldn't help but be mean to this girl. I mean I didn't want to, but it was just kind of coming out that way. Maybe it's just because it's my first day. She slowly turns on her heel as if expecting me to say more, but I don't. In fact I close my locker and start walking the other way. I can't remember but I think I swayed my hips just for a little fun. Show this girl what she's missing.

It turns out I was so busy trying to give that girl attitude that I went the wrong way. By the time I realized it I was on the other side of campus and the bell to get into class had already rang. I start running down the halls, slowing down every time there's an open class room. I finally run down to my class room, which was open. I take a second to fix my hair and walk in. Everyone pauses and looks at me, including the teacher.

"you're late" she says, I can already tell this woman's a bitch.

"sorry, first day" I said looking around the class room to find a seat. I spot one at the back of the room and quickly head there. I put my bag down and start taking out my books, but then I see someone staring at me on my right. _Shit._ It's the same girl I was giving attitude to before. But she was smiling slightly, and staring at me intently. Like she was trying to learn everything about my just by the way I looked. I hate when people do that by the way. I look up to see if there's any other seats in the class that are open, but before I could the teacher said something to the whole class.

"well, I hope you like your seats because that's where you're sitting for the rest of the semester"

_Perfect. _

About halfway through the class I glance to my right to see that same girl still staring at me. You would have thought the teacher would have told her to pay attention, but we were at the back of the class room and no one could see us. I see her get nudged by the person next to her. She starts whispering to her. This is the part where my trusty lip reading skills come in handy. I don't tell anyone because if I did they would all cover their mouths, and that's just no fun.

I can see what they're saying and I can tell that they're talking about me, mostly because they're staring at me. The girl beside her tells her 'stop staring you big lez'. It's obvious the locker girl is gay, but her friend teases her about it. Been there, done that.

'I'm not staring' the girl says back.

'you're right, you're drooling'

I focus my head back in my book, trying not to think about the other girl. Yeah, sure she's hot, but it's people like her, people who laugh at the newbies, that I hate. I see her say something to the other girl and I know what she's about to ask me, so I prepare my self.

She leans over in her seat and makes sure the teacher doesn't see her before facing me again. "hey, I was wondering if you-"

"-not interested" I cut her off before she even gets the chance to ask me out. I know she was going to ask me out because I could see her tell her friend. Right after I shot her down I saw her friend snort in laughter.

"how do you know I was even going ask you out?" the girl asked thinking she's all smart and what not. Nice try though.

"because you've been undressing me with your eyes for the passed 20 minutes" I tell her. Who's smart now? Note to self: ACTUALLY give self pat on back for sweet line. I can hear her friend actually laughing out loud now. This time it catches the teacher's attention.

"Stacey, is there something funny?" the teacher asks. I guess I know her friend's name now.

"no, miss" she said meekly. It was funny how people who were all cocky and overly confident one minute, and scared of a teacher the next. I could see the girl who was hitting on me roll her eyes.

By the end of class I'm all ready to get out of this class in hopes of being on time for my other class. I rush out of the room and I stop in the middle of the quad, I can tell that girl was still following me. _What's with this girl?_

"you know… staring at me doesn't help anything" I say loudly so that she could hear from behind.

"I know, I was just checking out your ass" she says. I can feel the smirk grow on her face. I turn around to face her and she walks towards me.

"I'm Ashley" she says as she fixes the strap on her shoulder bag and extends her hand. I look down at the hand and look back up at her. I'm not going to shake it, and I know she doesn't expect me to shake it. "you got a name?" she asks.

"yeah, I do" I say, being all mysterious. Damn I'm good today.

"you going to tell me?"

I pause to think about whether or not I should tell her. I'm a firm believer in signs, and so far there's nothing stopping me from telling her. "I'm-" the bell rang. I think I'd call that a sign. "-late for class" I ended. I turn around and walk the other way, I know she's still standing there, and I know she's dying to know everything about me.

It's lunch time now. I was actually kind of dreading this part of the day. It's the part of the day when you figure out who to sit with, most people sit with their friends, but I find that kind of hard since I have no friends.

"hey, late-for-class" she calls out as if it's an Indian tribal name. I may not have friends, but I have a stalker. I turn around to see Ashley sitting on top of a round picnic table in the centre of the quad. She waves me over. At this point in time, I see no harm in it. I walk over to her and take a seat like a normal person actually in the picnic table, while she still sits on top of it, staring down at me.

After a good 30 seconds at staring at the top of my head she finally sits down beside me in the table. We're the only ones sitting at this table so far. "so you going to tell me your name or what?"

"I'm Paige" I say lying.

"that's a nice name" she nods. "too bad it's not your real name" she says catching on. _Damn, and here I was on a roll_.

"Spencer" I give in.

"ah, now see that wasn't too bad now was it?" she says. "by the way, I saw your name on your locker combo sheet" she admits. Now it's all starting to make sense. "so where you from?"

"it's round on the ends, and high in the middle" I riddle her.

"Ohio" it's obvious she's heard that one before. She places her elbow on the table and leans her head into her hands so that she could stare at me. "you don't talk much do you?"

"I talk plenty"

"could have fooled me"

"well I don't know you"

"well if you had just accepted my offer earlier…" she suggests.

"I find it weird that you try asking me out on a date before you even ask for my name" I say. Just then the same girl from our first period class came over.

"hey ash… oh and if it isn't little-miss-rejection" she says towards me.

"it's Spencer, actually" I say.

"what?! You tell her your name and I have to pry it out of you?" Ashley asked in shock.

"she wasn't hitting on me all morning, now was she?"

"hey, I wasn't hitting on you… _I was undressing you with my eyes_" Ashley said as she stole a French fry from her friend's lunch.

"and how did I look?" _It was then I realized I was flirting back with her_.

"pretty damn hot"

"sounds about right" I could tell I was turning her on with my words.

"okay, hey, I'm eating here" Stacey says getting our attention.

"So Spencer… what are you doing after school?" Ashley asks.

"probably getting caught up on homework"

"eh!" both girls yelled like a buzzard as if I had the wrong answer. It was really weird actually, it made me jump at how loud they were.

"uh, curling up on the couch and watching my favourite soap opera?" I tried guessing again.

"EH!" they say even louder… it's starting to get annoying.

"how about you tell me" I say.

"DING!" they yell in a high pitch voice, they high five each other while laughing. You've got to be lame to have coordinated something like that.

"good, now that that's settled…" Ashley starts. "we're going to hit up Grays tonight"

"Grays?"

"it's this club for most of the kids around here" Stacey explains. For the rest of lunch, I sat there with the two girls talking about what they planned to do with me later that night. Well them talking, and me flirting more with Ashley. It was a little fun, but not as much fun as teasing her.

After lunch there was only one period left in the day and thankfully, neither Ashley nor Stacey were in it to bother me. I showed up to my class actually on time and take a seat. After a few minutes the class starts flooding in, and one girl sees me and was about to walk passed me when she looks at me again. She takes the seat next to me and looks at me. _Great, another Ashley_.

"I'm Kyla" she says. She kind of looks like Ashley

"Spencer" I smile back, I figured I should be polite to at least one person today.

"I know" she says. Maybe she really is a stalker.

"you know?"

"I saw you hanging out with Ashley today"

"and you know my name?" I ask.

She laughs lightly. "look around this class room" she says and I turn around to see everyone casually talking. I turn back to her, puzzled.

"there is not one person in this room who does not know your name" she says.

"but how?"

"like I said, we saw you hanging out with Ashley" she smirked. "Ashley's the kind of person everyone knows everything about, and everyone knows she likes you"

"yeah, well even I could have figured that out"

"yeah, well you're the object of her affections now"

"meaning?"

"meaning, Ashley always gets the girl she wants. Last year when Ashley was a freshman, she had a crush on senior girl, a straight senior girl might I add. But no, that's not all, she just happened to be dating a senior boy who was the captain of the football team. Guess who the senior girl ended up kissing in the end of this fairytale"

"Ashley…"

"that's right, she knows who she wants and she gets them. So it's just a matter of time before you're just another statistic for Ashley Davies"

"Davies? As in Raiffe Davies?"

"as in Raiffe Davies" she confirms.

"so I guess things just got a little more complicated."

"you could say that."

"so then what? I should just forget about her?"

"look, what exactly are you looking for in a girl?" She asks like she already knows me.

"what makes you so sure I like girls?"

"please, you've got gay practically written across your forehead" she says as she rolls her eyes. This girl's kind of cocky. "so what do you look for in a girl?"

"well… I want a relationship that-"

"there's your first problem, Ashley doesn't do relationships. She's more of a date 'em and dump 'em kind of a girl" _Perfect. _By the way if you didn't catch that, that was sarcasm. I finally find a hot gay girl, and she's the exact opposite of what I truly want.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

By the end of the day I had successfully avoided Ashley, after Kyla had told me a few of Ashley's stories I was a little more than turned off. I wasn't one for being a statistic. I'd rather be me and date who I want. I was walking home, hoping that the daughter of the famous rock star wouldn't see me. Unfortunately as I was walking out of the parking lot I see a BMW start driving slowly beside me.

"hey sexy" _there was that voice again._ "want a ride?" _what does she think? I'm a hooker? Pft._

I turn to see none other than Ashley Davies in her car driving beside the sidewalk.

"I'm good!" I wave her off, but she continues to drive at a pace slower than a turtle.

"come on, get in. I'm going to find out where you live anyways"

"well, that's persuasive" I say sarcastically.

"okay, I meant when I pick you up tonight to go the club"

"yeah, about that… I don't think I can go, I've got some stuff to do" I make up an excuse, after hearing her history, I think it's a bad idea.

"what? Why not?"

"things to do, people to see" I'm almost half way home now.

"could I be one of those people to see… hell could I be one of those things you do?" it didn't take my eye sight to tell me that Ashley was smirking.

"I'll see you tomorrow Ashley" I waved her off again. Mostly because I didn't have a smart ass line to say back.

"I have connections you know" she said.

"I know… Miss. _Davies_" I extenuated.

"you found out" she stated.

"yeah"

"so what? You're not going to date me because my dad's a rock star?"

"no, I'm not going to date you because I don't want to be another notch on your belt"

"you could undo my belt" she suggested. I can see my house now. So in order to keep her from actually seeing where I live I finally stop. She stops her car too.

"I know your reputation… I know how girls like you act" I say suggestively.

"girls like _me_?"

"the spoiled little rich girls who get everything they want… money, cars, _people_"

"not everything"

"oh and what haven't you gotten?"

"a mom, a dad… you" she says. _Way to make a girl feel guilty. I never really thought about it, but her father is a rock star, so he's probably not around that often. I hate when people guilt trip me… because it always works._

"give me your phone" I say reaching my hand out.

"why?" she asked suspiciously handing it to me. I open it and punch a few numbers in.

"call me" I say as I toss it back in her lap and walk off. Before she could put her car in gear I yell "and stop following me"

About half an hour after I got home, my phone starts to ring, I know who it is, because all of my family knows where I am an Ashley's the only other person to have my number.

"hello?" I answer.

"hey there beautiful" she says, I roll me eyes. "I was surprised this was your real number… I was expecting some guy named Gino to answer ready to take my pizza order" she says jokingly, and I laugh.

"now, why didn't I think of that?" I ask rhetorically.

"so you sure you don't want to go out tonight? Stacey's pretty bummed"

"I don't think I should. I don't really know you guys"

"what do you want to know?"

"if I ask you will you answer me honestly?"

"… yes" she says after a short pause.

"alright, truth or rumour… the slip n' slide in the hallway" I ask. After hearing all these stories from Kyla in class I figured I should check out if they're real or not.

"… truth" she says, I can almost hear the smile form on her face.

"alright, burned your books in a garbage can in the middle of the quad"

"rumour"

"okay… threesome in the girls bathroom" I ask, now things are starting to get a little more interesting.

"…which bathroom?"

"Ashley!"

I can hear her laughing over the phone, it's a nice laugh. "I'm kidding, it's a rumour, god… there was four of us" She adds jokingly.

"uh huh" I say in a disbelieving manner. I turn onto my back on my bed and stare up at the ceiling.

"you have never _not_ gotten the girl you wanted" I say, and I know it makes it a little more awkward because Ashley doesn't reply right away. "Ashley?" I ask to see if she's still there.

"… truth" she said as if she's not proud of it.

"thought so…" I say, the disappointment obvious in my voice.

"until now…" she adds.

"oh?"

"yeah, well there's this certain blonde who just can't seem to fall for my charm" she says, the fun has found its way back into her voice.

"well maybe this blonde just doesn't think now's the best time to date someone" I say, it really isn't the best time, but I find myself falling more and more for this girl every second.

"could you ask _said_ blonde when a good time would be?"

"um, she's not quite sure"

"well you tell her, when she's ready, Ashley Davies will be waiting at Grays tonight at 8:00pm" Ashley says and hangs up the phone. I lay there for another minute contemplating what to do. Should I go tonight? It's so tempting, yet so wrong.

"so what's this I hear about you and the Ashley Davies hooking up?" Glen asked from my open door way. He really is annoying.

"it's a rumour"

"well then why is everyone saying they saw you two together at lunch"

"yeah, we were talking not 'hooking up'… what ever that means"

"then who were you talking on the phone to?"

"none of your business"

"it was her wasn't it? Spence, she's bad news"

"oh please… you don't know anything about her"

"I know she hooks up with random girls for one night stands, and I know she likes you"

Later that night I told my parents I was going out to the library. If they were smart they would have figured out that the library isn't open at 8:00 o'clock at night. I walked down the Grays hoping that nothing bad would happen.

I walk into the club and look around, it looks like your typical club, not that I would know. I come from a small town in Ohio, there's only one mall let alone a club.

I search the room for that one girl who seems to have caught my attention. I continue looking around the crowd of people until I feel two hands on my hips.

"I'm glad you came" she whispers into my ear. I turn around to see her looking hot, and I mean hot. I'd describe her to you but I don't want you getting all hot and bothered.

"where's Stacey?" I asked looking behind her but I know she's not here.

"she… couldn't come tonight" Ashley lied.

"she couldn't come or you didn't tell her?"

She just shrugged. "she'll get over it. Want to dance?"

Before I knew it I was grinding and rubbing with Ashley. We were so close together this doesn't even deserved to be called dancing. It's more like sex with clothes on. I'm having a good time, getting all worked up over this hot girl trying to seduce me when I see Kyla standing by the bar looking over at us. I make up an excuse to stop dancing and leave Ashley on the dance floor.

"hey Kyla" I say with a small smile. Despite her best efforts and rumours I'm still here tonight with Ashley.

"so you're here with Ashley? What are you two dating now?"

"no… we're just friends"

"looks like you're a little more than friends" she says coldly, I don't even know why she's being such a bitch, it's not like she's gay. She really isn't. I can tell. Just then I could feel a couple of hands snake around my waist.

"what are you doing here?" Ashley asked Kyla. Since when do they know each other?

"you know each other?" I ask.

"hardly" Ashley says.

"hey there _sis_" Kyla says.

"sis? As in the short term for 'sister'?" I asked in disbelief. There's no way, these two were related, but they did look alike.

"_half _sister" Ashley clarifies.

"what?"

"it's not important" Ashley says as she tries to pull me back onto the dance floor from behind. "come dance with me"

"you know what? I think I better head home for the night"

"what? Come on, you've been here for like 20 minutes… don't let Kyla ruin your night" Ashley says shooting Kyla a glare, it's obvious they don't exactly get along.

"no, I just think I should get home… I told my parents I was at the library"

"well at least let me drive you" Ashley suggests. I agree and within a few minutes we were out the door and heading home. The car ride was pretty silent, the only thing we could hear was the sound of her car whipping in the wind. I gave her the directions to my house and we were home pretty quickly. It turns out Ashley's a fast driver… dangerous, but fast.

She pulls into my drive way and turns off the car. "I had fun tonight… even if it only lasted 20 minutes" Ashley says as she looks into my eyes. I know what she's expecting, but I don't know if she's going to get it.

"so you and Kyla are sisters?"

"not by choice, trust me. The inheritance gets split in half for me"

"so you _are_ all about the money"

"no. no… it's just I don't really get along with her" This was one of the few moments Ashley actually opens up to me; tells me more about the girl behind the hot body. It's different than most people think.

"well, I better get inside before my parents see me"

"wait" she says, my hand is resting on the door handle. "do you think we could do this again?"

"do what?"

"go on another date" she said like it was obvious.

"Ashley… this wasn't a date" I break it to her slowly. I know she wanted it to be, but it wasn't.

"then what was it?"

"just two friends, hanging out"

"friends don't dance like we did" she said with a small smile and it was true.

"dates don't last 20 minutes only" I pointed out, getting out of the car. I walk around to her side because I know she wants to say something else.

"well maybe we could hang out for more than 20 minutes, and as more than friends?" she hoped. It was cute how hard she was trying. I touched her cheek with my hand and smiled at her. I think this was the first time _I_ touched her. And let me tell you, she must moisturize.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow, Davies"

"alright see you later… uh…" this it the part when she realizes she doesn't know my last name.

I bend down and lower my face to her level. "Carlin" I whisper into her ear. I give her a quick kiss on the cheek and walk into my house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I watch from the window as she pulls her convertible out of the drive way. I turn around and I'm about to go back upstairs when I'm stopped by my family. That's right, _all of them_. The parents and the brothers, it's weird how they do that.

"what?"

"that's some pretty fancy attire for the library" my dad points out. I look down and I see I'm wearing my club wear. Next time I should probably change before I get home.

"… just felt like getting dressed up" I say as I make a break for the stairs.

"for Ashley?" Glen asks. Great now he's started something.

"who's Ashley?" my mother asks. _Oh god, here we go again._

"she's a girl at school with a certain _reputation_" Clay says… so much for being my favourite brother.

"she's just a friend" I say.

"oh yeah, right. She goes through girls, like Clay goes through books" Glen points out. I just want to go to my room, is that too much to ask without the third degree?

"Spencer we trust you, but if this girl is bad news…" my mother starts.

"mom, it's nothing. Don't worry" I say and leave as quick as possible. There's no way I'm talking to my parents about a girl I like… or might like, I'm still not sure.

It's Saturday… I think morning to be more specific. I'm not sure… I usually don't see Saturday mornings but today is different. Different because my phone woke me up. My hand is pretty much swinging at my bedside table looking for my phone, that's when I realized my phone was on my floor. I manage to find it in the clutter in my room and answer it without checking the caller I.D., that was a mistake.

"hello?"

"that's all I get? A 'hello'? not even a 'hey hot stuff, how you doin'?'?" Ever since I had given Ashley my phone number I've started to regret it. I started school on Monday, went out Monday night to Grays and since then I've gotten a call nearly every day from Ashley, begging me to go out with her.

"Ashley, it's like 7:00am, why are you calling me?"

"well I was going to wait until later to call you, but I couldn't resist"

"what do you want?"

"well I was thinking… we never did talk about that kiss the other night"

"kiss? Oh, you mean the kiss on the cheek I gave you, the _friendly_ kiss" I just want to make it clear that we are only friends.

"_friendly_ my ass"

"a kiss on the cheek means just friends in case you didn't know"

"you know, I don't think I've ever been _just_ friends with a girl"

"what about Stacey?"

"I meant gay girls" she states.

"uh huh, well get used to it"

"are you really that set against going out with me?"

"okay look I'm not really _set_ against going out with you-" I would have continued if it wasn't for her very loud and obvious scoff. "it's just that every time I want to take a step forward with you, there's always someone there telling me to take 2 steps back"

"like who?"

"kyla… my family…"

"really?"

"yeah…"

"okay look, I've got to go, but I'll call you later okay?"

"wait, how come you get to call me but I can't call you?"

"you want my number?"

"sure"

"well too bad. I'll give you my number when you go out on a date with me"

"tease"

"oh just wait till we start dating"

"don't count on it"

"just you wait and see Spencer Carlin" she says and hangs up the phone. I would have gone back to sleep but I can't seem to wipe this stupid grin off my face and get this girl out of my mind. Ashley Davies, is definitely something different.

7:00pm means family dinner. I'm setting up the table while my parents are making dinner and waiting for my brothers to get home. Just as we're about to sit down Glen and Clay walk in through the door. Every Saturday Clay goes to the library for his weekly reading, and Glen goes to the gym to work out, and girls.

"sorry we're late" Clay says politely as we all take a seat. Mom says a quick prayer and we dig in.

"so how come you guys were late?" my dad asks. Clay and Glen look at each other then back at me.

"okay, what?" I ask like I know something bad is about to come.

"I, I uh saw someone at the gym today…" Glen starts.

"oh, who?" mom asks.

"Ashley Davies" I drop my fork, and quickly pick it up.

"A-Ashley was at the gym?" I manage to stutter out, all of a sudden I become a little nervous.

"yeah… she was on the treadmill while I was doing the bench press. We got to talking…"

"about what?" I ask eagerly.

"just stuff" he says, he means they were talking about me though. "it turns out she likes sports too. She's a Knicks fan though" Glen was more into the Celtics. "but it was a good conversation"

I look at him like he was lying; he really had a good conversation with her? That's odd because last time I recall he said she was bad news.

"actually" Clay interrupted. "the weird thing was I saw her at the library later… Did you know she likes to read?" you've got to be kidding me. "we got into talking about the Great Gatsby and Catcher in the Rye, girl knows her classics" he says with a smile, it's obvious they both approve. And if the brothers approve the parents must like it.

"what ever happened to 'Spencer should stay away from her'?" my dad asks.

Glen just shrugs. "her personality's just overshadowed by her reputation. She's actually not that bad"

_Okay, I know something's up now. My brothers both like her, which means my parents like her, which means they think I should start dating her. I can see it in their eyes. You want to know what I think? I think she planned this. Hell, I know she planned this. I knew something was up when she called me this morning. _

Most of the dinner that night was spent talking about Ashley, however it wasn't me talking about her, it was Clay and Glen. After dinner I went up to my room and pulled out the phone book. After a few calls I managed to get the number I was looking for.

"hello?" Ashley answers her cell phone.

"you talked to my brothers?" I immediately ask.

"Spencer? How did you get this number?"

"I have connections" I say with a smirk. Okay, I don't have connections, I actually called Stacey's house and got the number from her, but Ashley doesn't need to know that.

"If you've come to ask me out then-"

"-what? You're going to shoot me down?" I ask jokingly.

"no, I was going to say I'd love to"

"well, too bad I'm not asking you out though"

"so then why are you calling me? I mean you must have gone through a lot of trouble to get this number"

"I just happened to hear that you conveniently go to the gym and library on Saturdays?"

"yeah, every so often I suppose. I ran into a couple of people that I knew though"

"so I heard"

"yeah, well I figured if you're going to date me your family should at least like me"

"when exactly are you going to give up on this date thing?"

"when you finally go out with me"

"so what, you're just going to date me, screw me, and dump me?"

"what?! No! no, that came out wrong."

"look, Ashley, I've talked to Kyla and other people, you're just not the type of person I would date"

"how do you know that? You barely even know me"

"really? I've heard you like to hook up with girls and just dump them, I'm not into getting my heart broken. I want more to a relationship than just sex"

"okay, I know you think I'm just some school slut, but I'm not. I care about things too, things other than sex"

"like what?"

"go on a date with me and I'll show you"

"Ashley, would you stop trying to date me!?"

"no, and _I'm not going to give up_." It was those words that changed something. I don't know what it changed but it changed something.

"… maybe"

"maybe? As in a yes/maybe?"

"I never said yes"

"but you were implying it…" she says slyly.

"Ashley, stop trying to twist my words"

"come on Spencer… all I'm asking is one date… is that so much?"

"Kyla" I say randomly.

"no… my name's Ashley"

I laugh into the phone. "no, I meant you convinced my brothers and my parents, but you still have to win over Kyla"

"oh please, I could win her over in two seconds, she's my sister"

"she's my_ friend_… and she's been looking out for me lately"

"so wait, if I can convince Kyla will you go out on a date with me?"

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see…" I say and hang up the phone. I better call Kyla, I know she's pretty weak when it comes to Ashley. I open my phone back up and dial her number.

"hello?" she answers.

"Kyla, listen to me, if Ashley comes to your room-"

"-hold on Spencer, Ashley's at my door. I'll call you later"

"no-" she hung up the phone. I call her back.

"Spencer?"

"Kyla, be stubborn."

"fine" Kyla says and hangs up again. When I said be stubborn, I meant to Ashley, not me. I call her back. Again.

"what is it Spencer?" she asked in an annoyed tone.

"look, Ashley's going to try to convince you to-"

"Spencer?" that's Ashley's voice. Great, she took the phone from Kyla.

"Ashley, hey!" I say innocently.

"nice try Spencer, but it's my turn now" she says and I can tell she's smirking.

"don't be too sure. I told Kyla to be stubborn, and I'm sure she'll figure it out sooner or later…" It's true, Kyla's not an idiot.

"well, I guess we'll find out soon enough" she says and hangs up on me. That's the third time someone's hung up on me in the passed 5 minutes. The only thing I can do now is wait.

---

The next day at school I was waiting eagerly for Kyla. God I hope she didn't give in.

"hey" Kyla said as she came around the corner.

"what happened?" I immediately ask.

"well see she came into my room, and I caught on to what you were staying – you know the whole be stubborn thing…"

"and?"

"and well, we got to talking and she tried her best…" it's starting to sound good now. "… but" no!

Then Ashley pops out of nowhere. "so I was thinking… how does Friday at 7:00pm sound?" she asks with a cocky smile.

"Kyla you're so weak!" I yell.

"I'm sorry! But she promised me a ride to school every day!"

"a ride to school? You sold me out for a ride to school?!"

"sorry, but she's a very persuasive person!" she argues.

"it's true, I am" Ashley smiles. Wait, hold on, I have a loop hole. Good ole' loop holes.

"Ashley, if you recall the events of our phone call yesterday, you'll remember I never fully agreed to a date."

"oh come on…" Ashley wines. "you said-"

"-I said maybe" I interrupt.

"but that's not fair! I went through all this work for nothing" aww she's acting like a little kid now. God, I'm a sucker for kids.

"how about we compromise?"

"with a date?" she asks hopefully.

"no" I dash her hopes. "how about we just hang out?"

"like a mini-date?"

"sort of… just it's not a real date" I see Ashley's shoulder's fall in defeat.

"alright, I'll take what I can get." She says with a slight frown. "but I choose when and where"

"deal" it's the least I can do.

---

It's second period and I'm now sitting in my class room, pretending to pay attention to whatever the teacher is teaching. I look out the window to see nothing but the inside of the hallway. School is so boring. So here I am, just sitting and doing nothing when I see something in the corner of my eye catch my attention.

It's Ashley. She smiling at me through the window. She's crouched down outside so that no one else sees her. Instantly I get a text message.

_Come with me_

_-A_

_Im in class _I reply.

_I choose when & where _she texts. Damn, I knew I shouldn't have agreed to that part.

_How am I supposed to get out of class? _I text back. Before I can even look up I hear a knock at the door. The teacher opens it and Ashley steps into the class. She hands the teacher the note and smiles at me. What is she up to?

"Spencer" she calls me to the front of the class. I grab my bag and head up there. "you're wanted in the principal's office" she says quietly and sends me on my way. Of course it's all fake.

---

We're climbing up a ladder. Why are we climbing up a ladder? This is ridiculous. She gets to the top and helps me up.

"Ashley, tell me why we're on the roof of the school again" I say to her, as I look at the view of the property.

"I thought it'd be fun for us to come up here. I usually only come up here alone, but you know… I'm willing to share" she smiles. We take a seat close to the edge and just sit there.

"so what do you do up here? Do you bring all your little play dates up here and get it on?"

Ashley snorts in laughter at me. "nah, this isn't a sex place, this… this is a thinking place."

"what do you think about?"

"nothing, everything, whatever."

"like what?"

"my parents, my family, my hook ups and break ups, school stuff, you name it – I think about it" Sometimes a lot of what Ashley thinks about is serious. I guess she's not all fun and games. I like that.

"cheesey puffy, or crunchy cheetos?" I ask trying to lighten the mood.

"what?"

"cheesies. Which ones do you like more, the puffy kind or the crunchy kind?"

She's laughing at me now. "why?"

"well, it's important that I know. Because if we're going to be friends I'd like to have a few things in common"

"puffy" she answers. I smile over at her.

"… me too"

For the rest of the morning we sat up on the roof of the school. We didn't do anything, we just talked and laughed and had a good time.

"Spencer, can I ask you a question?"

"only if I can ask you a question…" I say

"why won't you date me?"

"Ashley…" I smile. This girl just doesn't give up.

"no, I'm serious. Is it because I'm known to 'be with a lot of girls'?" she uses finger quotes. "is it because of my reputation? Am I not pretty enough? What?"

"Ashley, it's nothing like that. Well, the girls thing, yeah. But it's just jumping into a relationship makes it just like every other relationship. Tell me, of all of the girls you slept with on the first date, how many of them did you have a long lasting relationship with?"

"none"

"exactly. I could sleep with you right now, but then where would we be tomorrow?"

"happy?" she tries to pull off.

I shake my head at her. "yes, I'm sure sex with Ashley Davies is amazing… but if we slept together you'd feel like there'd be nothing left. And don't even try to tell me you wouldn't, because I know you would. If you feel the need to hang on to me right now, or you learn that maybe there's something different… maybe, just maybe this relationship will last longer."

Ashley doesn't say anything, I didn't really expect her to. What I just laid down is kind of heavy. "so this all brings my to my question… are you still willing to fight for me?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"… are you still willing to fight for me?"

"you know… I don't think anyone's made me work this hard for a relationship. And to tell you the truth, yeah, I usually do just use girls for the sex. But you know there's always that one person, every so often, that is different. And when I meet those girls, I sleep with them and that's it. But you're not one of those girls. Not anymore. Spencer Carlin, I _am_ willing to fight for you"

The lunch bell rang right after that. We're climbing down the ladder and heading down to the quad. We skipped most pf period 2 and all of period 3. It was fun, all we did was talk. It was definitely a nice change from the constant date proposals.

"so you ready for our date yet?" Ashley asks. _I spoke too soon._

"seriously, Ashley, ask me again and you will never make it to another first date in your life" I threaten her. I can see the smile form on her face. Why is it that when ever she smiles I smile too? This girl has a control on me and she doesn't even know it.

"come on" she bumps hips with me. "let's go grab some lunch"

---

We're eating at our usual table when Stacey comes up to us and takes a seat.

"so did you hear about Daniel's party tonight?" she asks us.

"no, what party?" I ask.

"yeah, apparently there's like 60 people going…" Ashley converses with Stacey, leaving me out of the conversation.

"are you guys going?" Stacey asks.

"I don't know… do you want to go?" Ashley asks me.

"yeah, totally!" I say over excitedly. Back in Ohio, a party was having your friend over for family dinner.

"really? There's a lot of drinking and dancing going on at the parties, and usually there's at least one fight." Ashley says trying to talk me out of it.

"well I'm not big on the fighting, but I'm up for a night of dancing… and drinking I guess" I don't drink usually. But I know the people in L.A. do. "but hey, it can be another mini-date"

"alright, tell Daniel that we'll crash" Ashley said carelessly as she began eating her lunch.

"alright, it's a party now!" Stacey said with a smile and ran off somewhere.

"are you sure you're up for this?" Ashley asked me. It's nice how she's concerned about my well being.

"I'm fine, I mean it's not like I'm going to go crazy and sleep with some random stranger or anything. I'm just going to have a nice time"

Ashley rolls her eyes at me. "if you say so…" The end of the lunch bell rang and everyone started going to class. "um, the party probably won't start till about 8:00pm, so I'll pick you up around 8:30pm?" she asks.

"can't wait"

---

We open the door not even bothering to knock. The music is too loud to even hear your own thoughts. Stacey, Ashley and I walk in grabbing everyone's attention. But that's probably only because we're with Ashley. I look to my left and I see couples making out on the couch. I look to my right and I see a guy standing up side down on a keg. We're trying to make our way through the crowd of dancing people but we seem to be getting separated. That was until I felt a hand grab mine. It was Ashley's. She's pulling me through the dance floor and to the kitchen to get a drink.

While I'm still taking in my surroundings Ashley hands me an empty, plastic red cup. Instantly she's got this hose thing and is spray stuff into my drink. I'm guessing it's beer.

"so this is an L.A. party?" I ask Ashley seeing as Stacey took off with some random guy.

"what?" she can't hear me over the music.

"So this is an L.A. party?" I yell louder.

"oh… yeah"

"I'm a little disappointed, I was expecting topless women and sexy dancing" I say jokingly.

"well if you're lucky I'll make both of those come true" Ashley says as she takes my beer and puts it down in the counter top and drags me to the dance floor. Immediately a place is cleared for us in the middle and we show everyone just how to dance. I've got my back to Ashley and she's got her arms out around my body, but not touching me. Just trying to keep me in place. Our knees are both a little bent and my ass is digging into her body. She loves it.

Soon a break dancer comes out in the middle of the floor and does his stuff as the rest of us watching in a circle around him. He clears the way and start dancing again, but this time I'm dancing with a guy who thinks I'm drunk and is experimenting, while Ashley's dancing with some other girl. It's not that I mind dancing with guys, it's just, I mind when they put their hands all over me, thinking he's going to get lucky. I push him off a little and he gets the hint, so basically I'm dancing with this guy, but surrounded by other people. It's fun, that is until I see Ashley.

She's dancing with some skanky hoe. Well, she looks like a skanky hoe. It's not that I'm jealous or anything… aw hell, who are we kidding, I'm so jealous, but I would never admit it to Ashley. So I subtly make my way over there, trying to dance my way through the crowds. I finally make it there and I slowly push my way in between the two girls and now Ashley is dancing with me. And this other, let me tell you, is pissed. I give her the smallest smirk as I continue to grind with Ashley. Everyone knows she's mine anyways.

All of a sudden this girl cuts back in. and I feel like yelling 'Are you kidding me?' but I don't. Instead I butt in _again_. By now this girl is fed up with me and pushes me away from Ashley, that's right, she pushes me. Finally Ashley steps in.

"okay, guys stop" she says, like that's going to help.

"come on baby, let's dance" the other girl says to Ashley.

"baby?" I ask. "hell no." I say as I grab her arm and turn her around. So now she's really pissed that I touched her, but I don't care. She takes a step towards me and is now only inches away from my face.

"stop" Ashley says more firmly, but we're still standing there. Soon we grab the attention of the DJ, who yells out "dance off!"

Everyone quickly looks our way and the crowd is now circling around us. She looks at me and smirks.

"let's go" she says as she starts taking a few steps back. God, I hope this girl isn't some elite dancer or anything like that. I mean I'm always up for a good dance off, but I'm no pro.

The music starts playing and the other girl grabs Ashley and starts using her as a back scratcher. Because right now, she got her back pressed up against Ashley's front and her hands are moving everywhere. The whole time she's staring at me, but Ashley's just lost in the dance.

Without a word I pull Ashley away from them start grinding with her, front to front. You know she's loving this. We take a step back, then a step forward, each time grinding deeper and deeper. You know a crowd can't resist a few hot lesbians. So they're all cheering and whooping, and I'm smirking back at the random girl.

The girl then pulls Ashley back to her and they're front to front, grinding and getting lower with every beat. The girl is sure to grab everyone's attention and then takes Ashley's hands and drags them down her body until they reach the ass. Which is huge, by the way. She leaves Ashley's hands there getting a few cheers from the crowd. But I'm not done yet. No way. I've got something to end this all.

I take Ashley away and position her behind me and we're moving from side to side now, with no space between us. Anywhere. So here we are, nothing new happening, that is until I move my head the left and turn to look at Ashley's who's looking at me from the right. Without any clues I dive in for a kiss. We start moving our lips in sync and now the crowds going wild. I know Ashley's going to tease me about this later.

The girl flips out and pushes us apart, ending the dance competition.

"that's cheating!" the girl yells, only because she's sad she lost.

"cheating?" I laugh off. "sweetie, there were no rules to begin with." I say as if she's a child. Then the DJ cuts in with his microphone.

"there's only one way to settle this" he says. Some one in the crowd yells "threesome" but we all laugh it off. "Ashley, you decide" the DJ says and everyone turns to Ashley, who's standing in the middle of us.

Without a word Ashley grabs my wrist and lifts it in the air. Skanky Hoe decides to storm off at this point and everyone comes back onto the dance floor.

----

By the end of the night Ashley, Stacey and I all stayed around for a couple more drinks before heading home. I'm glad Ashley can hold her liquor down, or else we'd be in a car accident. We dropped Stacey off 5 minutes ago and now we're pulling up to my house. She puts the car in park and look at me. Here it comes.

"so did you have a fun night?" Ashley asks with a smirk.

"yeah, it wasn't bad" I say back.

"oh really? Not bad huh? Well as I recall someone got a little action tonight" she's referring to the kiss.

"oh that? That was nothing" I tease and she feigns hurt.

"you know… that wasn't any friendly kiss" she comments.

"I know. That was more of a 'this will help me win the dance off' sort of a kiss" I say undoing my seatbelt.

"keep thinking what ever you want Carlin. But you and I both know you have the 'hots' for me" she says with a cocky smirk. It's true, we both know it. But I would never admit it. Just not yet.

"what ever you say Davies" I say back, creating doubt in her mind.

"So listen, when you go back inside, avoid your parents… you're slurring your words a bit" she says holding back a laugh.

"hey, it's all apart of the L.A. party scene right?"

"right, beer, topless girls and sexy dancing" she reminds me. "don't suppose you still want to get that topless girl, do you?" she offers.

"you wouldn't happen to know anybody would you?" I ask as I get out of her car.

"actually I think I do" I know she's talking about herself.

"great, who?" I ask pretending I don't know. But we both know.

"good night Spencer" she says sweetly as she puts her car in drive.

"good night Ashley Davies" _my future girlfriend._

----

So last night was… amazing. I went to a party had some drinks with a few friends, had a dance off, kissed Ashley, had a few more drinks… did I mention I kissed Ashley? Yeah, of course it was good!

From the moment Ashley picked me up, to the moment now, when we're talking at our lockers she hasn't stopped smiling. But then again, neither have I.

So here we are talking about random stuff when the girl from the dance off comes up to us.

"hey Ashley" she says sweetly. "bitch" she says to me, but then turns back to Ashley.

"excuse me?" I ask, making her turn back around.

"why don't you just run a long now" she says like I'm a five year old. Now Ashley steps in between us.

"Vanessa, why don't you take off" Ashley suggests.

"yeah, run along now" I mock her. But she takes a step forward.

"Spencer, don't provoke her" Ashley warns.

"or what? She'll lose in another dance off?" I say. Okay, I know that was uncalled for, but I just had to say it.

"you little…" Vanessa starts but instead of finishing her sentence she raises her hand and is about to slap me. In anticipation I just close my eyes. It seemed like the logical thing to do. So here I am, waiting for a slap across my face, but I don't feel it. I open my eyes and I see that Ashley caught Vanessa by the wrist before she could hit me.

"Vanessa leave now, before _I _get angry" Ashley growls as she let's go of her wrist. Vanessa gives me a dirty glare before she takes off. _Aww, she cares for me! Well I already knew that, but that was just too sweet. Even though it was kind of my fault._

_You know, not many people would stop someone from slapping me. Not many people have fast enough reflexes. But Ashley does. At least it shows how dedicated she is. Maybe this could really work out between us._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

After school the next Ashley and I went back to her place to hang out again. "so do you want to watch a movie or something?" she asks as she hands a can of soda to me.

"nah"

"you want to listen to music?"

"nah"

"you want to have sex with me?" she smiles.

"sure!"

"really?" she asks in disbelief.

"no" I say calmly. I can tell she's sad now. "how about we go for a walk" I suggest.

"sure, I'll get my keys" what doesn't she understand about _walk_?

"Ashley, when I said walk - I mean with our feet. You can't drive everywhere in L.A."

"but I feel empty without my car" she whines.

"come on…" I pull her towards the door and we leave her property. Minus the car.

---

She's wearing her overly large sunglasses as we're walking down the road, headed for the park. I've only been here like once since my family moved here. It seems peaceful. Full of children and their families, running around and having fun. If this isn't serenity, I don't know what is.

We buy a couple of ice creams – Ashley pays for mine – and we take a seat on a near by bench. Just me and her.

"see, isn't this nice? No car, less pollution"

"my legs are tired" she whines

"we walked for like 10 minutes!"

"hey, that's plenty for me" she teases. I just continue to eat my ice cream.

"so you're trying to tell me, you never go anywhere without your car?"

"not really."

"well seeing as I don't have a car, I find it pretty easy to get around by foot"

"well, if you ever need a ride, call me up. Day or night." She says sweetly putting a comforting hand on my knee. It's things like that, that make me want to date her. Even I can see she's changing. And she's changing for me. Without even asking I lift her sunglasses off of her face so that I can see her eyes. She gives me this look, a look that says 'what are you doing?' but I just smile back and she doesn't say anything. I prefer to look into her eyes when I'm talking to her.

I look up and I see a couple of soccer moms staring at us. It's now I realize Ashley's hand is still on my knee and that's what the moms are staring at.

"looks like we have an audience" I say to Ashley. She looks up at me and I discretely nod to the older women looking at us.

"well in that case, let's give them something to look at" she says and she quickly gets up and sits back down in my lap. She wraps her left arm around my shoulders and smile at the women.

"she's all mine!" Ashley yells like a crazy person across the park, and the two women quickly collect their children and start walking away. I couldn't help but laugh.

"you're crazy, you know that?"

"hey, if they want a piece of you they're going to have to wait in line" she smiles.

"you going to get off me anytime soon?"

"didn't really plan on it" Ashley says calmly. After we finish our ice cream Ashley finally gets off of me.

"come on, hop on" she says crouching in front of me. Is she serious?

"are you serious?"

"yeah, come on" I guess she is.

"okay" I say and I hop on for a piggy back ride. We get comfortable and we start walking through the park. We walk under the slide, pass the monkey bars, through the water park… wait, _through _the water park?!

"Ashley, what are you doing?" I ask in fear, rain was not in my forecast today. "Ashley?" she's not answering me. Oh god. She hits the button to start the water and I try to get down, but she won't let me. She's running through the fountains as they spring up at us. I'm screaming but Ashley just seems to be laughing.

"Ashley, stop!" I yell in a girly scream. But she just keeps running back and forth in the sprinklers getting us both soaked. Soon the water starts dying down and finally stops. Here I am, sitting on Ashley's back, completely soaked from head to toe.

"well that was fun" Ashley says as she sets me down and drains the water from her hair.

"no… that was cruel"

"oh come on, Spence. It's just a little fun" she says. She thinks I don't notice that she just called me 'Spence' but I do. And I don't mind.

"just a little fun, huh?" I ask as I slowly start backing up, but she doesn't really notice.

"yeah, you know what fun is don't you?" she asks teasingly.

"of course I do, here's another dose" I say as I slam the button down and I start chasing after her.

_Through the water._

---

Half an hour later Ashley and I are back at her house, drying our selves off. We ran through the sprinklers a few more times. I'm just glad I didn't wear white today.

Ashley gave me some of her clothes to wear and I'm changing in her room, while she's changing in the guest room. And just as I'm in the middle of changing my top, in walks Ashley.

"Hey Spencer, you done?" she asks not looking up until the last second.

"Ashley!" I scream.

"sorry!" she says as she covers her eyes up and runs back out the door, closing it on her way out. I quickly change and walk back out to find Ashley. I walk downstairs to see her sitting at the kitchen table.

"Jeez, Ashley I know you want to sleep with me and all…" I say teasingly.

"sorry, Spencer" she says quietly, _aww she really feels bad for it._

"hey, forget about it. Just, you know, let me know when you're going to walk in on me. Maybe then I could put my clothes on"

"you mean, _my_ clothes" she says with a small smile.

"how do I look?" I ask striking a pose for her. She gave me a pair of jeans and a small cut shirt. I know she loves it.

"I love it" told you.

"of course you would, their your clothes"

"yeah, but they're on your body" I roll my eyes_. I'm surprised this girl hasn't tied me to the bed yet._

"listen, I have to get going, I have some homework" I say as I grab my bag.

"hold on, let me drive you" she says and grabs her keys. This girl is attached to her car I swear.

We drive down to my house in relative silence. We pull into my drive way and she puts the car in park.

"I'll get your clothes back to you tomorrow" I say as I undo my seatbelt.

"yeah, sure, take your time"

"I had fun today… spending time with you was nice"

"you're just saying that 'cause I got you all _wet" _you know she loves the sex jokes.

"yeah, yeah… how about another 'mini-date' tomorrow?" I ask as I step out of her car.

She takes a deep breath and looks back up at me. "you know, Spencer, as much as I'm having fun... I'm not going to chase you forever"

"… and I don't expect you to"

"so then what? You want me to give up? Cause Spencer, I don't want to be going after a lost cause"

"… Ashley, if that's what you think that is, then you might as well go now. If you think I'm just a lost cause then why are you still here?"

"because I like you" she blurts out. "…but if you don't like me back then I don't want to get hurt"

"alright then…" I say with a smile as I start backing up.

"wait! What do you mean 'alright then'?"

"I mean… hold on a little longer and I'll make it worth your while" I say.

"… fine" she gives in. Yeah, she's a sucker for me.

"thank you" Without another word I leave her in my drive way and I walk into my house. I'm about to go up the stairs when someone calls me back.

"Spencer?" my mom asks, as she and my dad walk up to me.

"oh hey guys" I say.

"Spencer, why is your hair all wet, and… what are you wearing?" they look at how tight my clothes are. Well, not my clothes, Ashley's clothes.

"oh me and Ashley-"

"Ashley?" my mom asks. Oh god, I bet you she's thinking something crazy like me and Ashley took a shower together or something. Though that does sound like fun.

"are you and she dating?" my dad asks in his fatherly tone. How do I answer that? Technically we haven't gone out on a date, but she's asked me repeatedly, and it's not like I'm going to date anyone else right now.

"um, yes… and no" I answer confusingly.

"what do you mean yes and no?" my mother asks. "and who's clothes are those?"

"mom, dad, calm down. Look Ashley and I just kind of got a little wet, and I borrowed some clothes. Nothing happened. Does that clear everything up?"

"no" my mom says.

"yes" my dad says at the same time. I roll my eyes.

"look, I just think we should formally meet Ashley…" my mom says.

"mom, I don't want to scare her off" I say fearfully.

"are you implying that we scare off your girlfriends?" my dad asks. _Well… yeah._

"no, of course not" I lie. "it's just I don't want to take any chances."

"Spencer, invite Ashley over for dinner and we'll have a family night" my mom says and walk away without giving me a chance to argue back. She's gotten smarter over the years. Thankfully my dad's still here to argue with.

"Dad…"

"no Spencer, I'm with your mom on this one. I think we should start meeting your girlfriends. I mean we barely knew the other ones."

"first of all, Ashley's not my girlfriend" _yet. _"secondly, there's a reason I didn't introduce my family to my other girlfriends; you know how intimidating mom can be"

"I heard that!" my mom yells from the kitchen. So I lower my voice.

"please dad" I whisper.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but if she's right. Maybe it's best that we meet Ashley…"

---

After my little 'fun' conversation with my parents I went up to my room and pulled out my cell phone and dial her number. I love how that I don't even have to say her name, but you know I'm talking about Ashley.

"couldn't get enough of me huh?" Ashley asks.

"yeah, you keep thinking that…" but it's actually true. "so listen, my parents want to… uh… meet you"

"parents?" she asks hesitantly.

"yeah look, I know they're _parents_ and all, but they're not that bad I promise. Though they scared off my last two girlfriends, but that's not the point. The point is they want to have you over for dinner. And some sort of family night…" I'm babbling. And she knows it.

"…Spencer, calm down, of course I'll come meet your parents."

"really? Okay good, and I apologize for any weird questions that may come"

I can hear her laugh. "anything I should know?"

"um, my mom's tougher than my dad, so watch out. And she's still a little uncomfortable with the whole gay thing, so try not to go there too much"

"aww man, and I was planning to come with my rainbow face paint. Darn!" she says sarcastically.

"yeah, yeah. Okay so tomorrow?"

"tomorrow it is" she confirms.

"alright, good bye Ashley"

"bye Spencer, and by the way… I'm looking forward to Saturday" she says and quickly hangs up. I'm looking forward to it too.

---

Tonight's the night Ashley meets my parents. Now I need this to be a good impression, or else I'm screwed. And not in the good way. (A/N: haha!) I spent the entire day coaching Ashley on what to do and what to say. But even that's not enough. Mom's known to throw a curve ball or two.

I'm running back and forth in the house trying to get everything cleaned up. I think the vase would look best in the middle of the table. No, too big, maybe above the fire place? No, not noticeable enough. I know! I'll just put it by the front door. I place it on the table beside the door and stare at it. Maybe we shouldn't have a vase at all.

All of a sudden Glen walks in, listening to his iPod and accidentally slams the door, inadvertently causing the vase to fall and shatter into a million pieces.

"Glen!" I yell. He takes out his head phones and looks down at the mess.

"smooth, Spencer" he says. He thinks _I_ did it.

"Glen! Ashley's going to be here any minute and now there are shards of glass all over the floor!"

"that was tonight?" oh my god, he forgot!

"yeah!" I scream. He looks down and he's still in his sweat pants and sweaty basketball t-shirt. "go shower and get changed now!" I say as I point up the stairs.

"yes mom" he says sarcastically and walks up the stairs. I hate being called mom.

I walk quickly back into the kitchen to see my mom dancing and singing while cooking dinner.

"mom, could you please not do that when Ashley comes?" I say.

"Ashley?" please don't tell me she forgot too. "that's tonight?" yeah, she forgot.

"mom! I told you yesterday! I told _everyone_ yesterday"

"calm down sweetie. Everything's fine" she says comfortingly giving me a kiss on my head.

"where's dad and Clay?"

"Dad went to pick up Clay from his job. But they should have been back by now" she says looking down at her watch. Great, my own family is late to family dinner. Thankfully, dad and Clay walk in seconds later. But no, not just any normal Clay. Did I mention his part time job is helping advertise for the local pizzeria? Yes, and now here he is, standing in our kitchen in a full pizza mascot costume.

"we're home" dad yells out. He walks into the kitchen and kisses my mom on the cheek, and me on my head.

"dad, why are you so late? Ashley's going to be here soon!" I whine.

"that was tonight?" he asks pointing to the floor. How can everybody have forgotten? In walks Clay, still in his 'suit' and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge. He looks so stupid.

"hey guys" he says with a smile.

"Clay, please tell mom and dad that Ashley is coming over tonight, and I need everything to be perfect."

"Ashley's coming over tonight?" he asks. OH MY GOD! How can everybody forget!? But then he smiles. "… I'm just kidding. Of course I remembered" he says. That was a mean joke. But it still doesn't defeat the point that he is still in his mascot suit!

"so what's for dinner?" my dad asks.

"dinner! Oh no!" my mom yells. Why is she yelling 'oh no!'? that's my line tonight. She grabs her oven mitts and opens the oven, and much to our despair we see smoke. The food is literally going up in smoke, just like tonight. She pulls what looked like lasagne at one point, out of the oven.

And it just as if on queue the door bell rings.

"I'll get it!" Glen yells. But from the door way in the kitchen I can see Glen start walking down in nothing but a towel.

"Glen no!" I yell, but it's too late, he's already at the door. But right as soon as he turns the knob he takes a step on the broken glass from the vase and idiotically grabs his foot with _both_ hands. Of course, here's Ashley in the door way, just in time to see my imbecile brother drop his towel and grab his foot. Did I mention he dropped his towel? Yeah. I know.

So here we are, Ashley's standing in the door way, Glen's crouching on the floor, naked, and I'm watching the night fall to pieces. Soon, in runs my parents and Clay to see what happened. My mom's hair is a mess and her face looks a little dirty from the smoke. My dad's still wearing his jacket and looks like he's about to take off any minute. While Clay, who I thought was normal, is still wearing his pizza suit.

Kill me now.

"looks like I found the party" Ashley says with a smile.

----

"it's an igloo!" my mother yells.

"turtle!" Glen yells.

"igloo"

"turtle"

In case you're wondering what the hell they talking about, Clay's a terrible artist, even though he's dating one. We're playing this game, I forgot the name. But you draw a picture and people have to guess the movie. It's me, dad, and Glen on one team, with Ashley, Clay and my mom on the other.

"okay, I can tell you right now it's neither an igloo or a turtle" Clay points out. Technically you're not supposed to talk during the game. But we make a few exceptions.

"I got it!" Ashley yells. "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind!"

"that's it!" Clay yells. Ashley, and my mom jump up and do this little dance they created. It's their 'victory dance'.

"what?!" Glen yells. "how is _that _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?"

"come on Glen, use your brain" Ashley says tapping him on the head.

We had a pretty good night tonight, despite all of the mishaps when Ashley first showed up. Clay's costume almost caught on fire, but we learned a new rule. No inflammable suits in the kitchen. I think it's a pretty good rule. My mom being the doctor she is was able to clean up Glen's foot… after he got dressed that is. Then we just ended up ordering in some pizza and playing a few games. I don't know how she does it, but everyone just seems to love Ashley.

"and that brings us to a total of 7 to 6" my mom says proudly looking down at the score sheet. "we win!"

"what?! I declare a rematch" Glen says. He's always been competitive, but dad and I always just seem to laugh at him.

"Ashley you game?" my dad asks, trying to be cool. We both fight back the urge to laugh.

"actually, I should really get going. It's almost midnight" she says looking down at her watch.

"oh sure, we understand" my mom says. We all get up and walk Ashley to the door. It's sad, really.

"guys, I think I can walk Ashley out myself" I say as a hint. They wave goodbye as I walk Ashley to her car parked at the end of our drive way.

"so tonight was pretty fun" she says trying to make conversation.

"yeah, fun" I say sarcastically. "did you miss the part where you saw my brothers? You know, the one's in a pizza costume and naked…" I remind her.

"oh don't worry, I don't think I'll ever be able to get that image out of my head" she says with a smile. I smile back.

"but really, tonight was fun. I've never had a family night with my parents"

"trust me, not all of them are as eventful as the one tonight" I say as she gets in her car and I lean forward with my hands against the door.

"well I'd give anything to have a family willing to have a family night together" she says sadly.

"well… if you ever need a sub family, we're always here. I think my parents love you more than they love me" I say sarcastically.

"I think that's impossible" she says as she puts one of her hands over mine. We both look down at our hands, then back up at each other.

"Spencer…" she starts and I know she's about to ask me out again. But something's different this time. I don't know if it's because our hand are touching, or because my family loves her, or we'll still smiling from the embarrassing events tonight, but something's different. "will you-"

"-wait…" I cut her off. Here goes nothing. "Ashley Davies, will you go out with me?"

**Hope you liked this chapter. Just a quick question… what does PMS mean? Everyone's been writing it in their reviews (which I thank you for) but idk what it means. I'm not stupid, but I know it doesn't mean what I think it means lol. So please someone tell me. But just ONE person, I don't need a flood of emails telling me the same thing. THANK YOU**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Thanks for the definition of PMS guys!**

"_Ashley Davies, will you go out with me?" I ask, I look at her face and she's completely stunned._

"no!" she yells. Did she just say no? It must be some illusion. Maybe it was one of those 'noooyyess'. You know the ones that _sound_ like a no, but are really a yes. "_I _was supposed to be the one to ask you out" she says jokingly, but not really. _Oh thank god!_

"well it looks like I beat you to the punch" I say with a smile. Thank god that was just a joke, I think I was about to have a heart attack.

"technically, I've asked you out like a million times" she comments.

"okay, well ignoring the fact right now, what do you say? Do you want to give this 'dating' thing a go?"

"if I must" she say sarcastically and I scoff. But then she stops laughing and looks dead in my eyes while grabbing a hold of my hand. "I would love nothing more than to go out with you Spencer Carlin"

I can only reply with a huge smile.

"but on one condition…" _condition? What the hell?_ "if anyone asks, I asked you out" she says.

"fine, but if _you_ asked_ me _out, then you're the one who has to pick me up and take me out" I argue.

"I wouldn't have it any other way"

"So how does Saturday sound?" I ask.

"I'll pick you up at 7:00pm?"

"It's a date"

"_yes, it is_" Ashley smiles and takes off.

I have a date with Ashley Davies.

----

Ashley and I have been talking on the phone for a while now, just about random stuff. But I'm really just trying to figure out what we're going to do on the date tomorrow. She's really good at keeping secrets.

"are we going ice fishing?" I ask. I've asked her like a million other events, but it's still a secret.

"Spencer, we live in L.A., there is no ice"

"fine, what about a road trip?"

"honestly? A road trip as a first date?" she asks in disbelief. "did you date a flight attendant or something?" she asked jokingly.

"okay, well I can't think of anything else, can't you just give me a clue?"

"okay fine…" yay! "your first clue is to look out your window…" she says mysteriously. She isn't outside my window is she? I get up and off my bed and pull my curtains back. Low and behold, there is Ashley Davies staring up at me with her cell phone in hand.

"are you kidding me?" I ask

"I kid you not. So it's Friday night and I was thinking that we could move our date up a night, how about you come on down and I'll show you who I really am"

"I don't know… step into the shoes of Ashley Davies? Sounds dangerous"

"oh it is, but you know you can't resist." I shake my head and she can see me through the window.

"give me 5 minutes" I say and hang up the phone. I change my clothes to those that are more suitable for a date with _the_ Ashley Davies. I still can't believe I gave in. But then again, how could I not?

I head downstairs to already see my family hanging out in the living room.

"going out with Ashley, bye!" I say rather quickly and dart for the door.

"whoa, whoa, whoa" Dad says, I knew I wouldn't be able to pull it off. "you're going out with her?"

"yeah, I'll be back later"

"hold on there" Mom says interrupting. Great. "is Ashley going to come in to say 'hi'?"

"sorry, she's already waiting in the car for me" I say as I open the door. And as luck has it, she is standing right there, waiting. "…or not"

"Hey Ashley" my father says with a smile. "come on in" I could see the expression on her face that she was a little flustered by the swift offer but smiles and comes in anyways.

"nice to see you again Mr. and Mrs. C" Ashley says sweetly.

"well that was nice, we better get going now" I say trying to pull Ashley out the door, but then Clay and Glen walk over.

"Ashley!" Glen yells as he gives her a high five. You would have thought she was one of the guys.

"what's up Glen? Hey Clay"

"okay, yeah it's all fun and games, now let's go" I say once again trying to rush Ashley out of the house.

"wait, you didn't even offer Ashley a drink" Glen says.

"or we have some food left over" Clay adds.

"oh! We can do another family night!" my mom suggests eagerly.

"yes! We just got monopoly" my dad adds. I can't take this anymore. But before I say anything Ashley cuts in.

"as fun as that sounds Spencer and I kind of have plans. But how about a rain check?" you can see the immediate disappointment on my family's face. I think they like this girl as much as I do, if not more.

"oh alright… we'll hold you to that then" my dad says even though he looks heart broken.

"it was nice seeing you though, bye guys" she says to my family and I lead her out the door. We hustle down to her car and peel out of the drive way laughing like crazy.

"… I think you really hurt their feelings" I say jokingly.

"you know, it was a lot easier winning your entire family over than it was you?"

"what can I say? I'm a picky person" I say, I glance over at her with a smile, we've been on the road for less than 5 minutes and I'm already having a good time. But I wouldn't let her know that. "so where are we going?"

"it's a surprise"

"oh come on"

"you made me wait weeks to go on a date with you… I think you can wait a few minutes"

"okay but I just want to make it clear, this is just a simple date, nothing too crazy's going to happen is it?"

"I'm Ashley Davies… I don't do simple." Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.

**So tell me… do you guys want another chapter today? Because I thought this chapter was kind of short and uneventful. ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Sorry it's so late. I got home kind of late.**

"Ashley do you know who lives here?" I ask. We're walking towards a house, well at least to the side gate of the house. It's dark and creepy, and I'm scared.

"come on" she whispers back. Why is she whispering!? We enter the backyard and I see a pool glowing in the darkness.

"is this your friend's house or something?"

She starts taking off her top and then her jeans. I think I just stopped breathing. No wait, I'm still alive. That means I'm still breathing. "um… not exactly" she says as she slowly slips into the pool in her bra and panties.

"what do you mean not exactly?" I think I know where this is headed.

"come on in, the water's warm" she says as she swims around a little. Oh god, she's all hot and wet, I don't know if I can take this any longer.

"Ashley, you don't know who lives here, do you?" I ask quietly as a sneak over to the side of the pool to talk to her but so that I don't get caught.

"no" she says with a smile. I can see a light go on inside of the house. We both freeze for a minute hiding in the darkness, but then we see the light go off. "so you coming in or what?"

"I don't know… isn't this illegal or something?"

"oh come on!" she says as she climbs out of the pool. Her whole body is drenched in water, it's so hot. "all you have to do is take this off…" she says as she pulls my top off and starts kissing my neck. Oh the neck thing, it never fails to work on me. "and this…" she whispers as she flicks the button from my jeans and pulls them down, not once breaking her contact from my neck.

"and then…" she starts, but now she's sucking on my ear lobe. I think I'm about to pass out now. Without another word she slowly walks me into the pull by the stairs in the corner. Slowly but subtly the water rises around my ankles, then my knees, then my waist and know it's up just above my hips. The water is freezing and I'm slowly getting used to it, that was until Ashley suddenly pulls me down and I'm completely submerged in the ice cold water. I quickly stand up in the water, still cold. Ashley emerges from the water, only her head sticking out, she has this evil smirk on her face.

"now see, that wasn't so bad now was it?" she taunts. Oh she is so dead. I think she can see it too, because the smile on her face grows a little and she starts slowly swimming backwards. I start chasing after her with a smirk and she swims even faster.

"oh, you better run!" I threaten as I chase after her. After about 10 minutes of swimming around and splashing and laughing, she finally catches up to me. Somehow in the middle of it all she started chasing me. We're in the shallow end of the pool and she's got me cornered. She's slowly walking over to me and god does she look beautiful. Her hair's all wet and tangled, her make up is completely gone, but the moon light is reflecting off her body and she just looks amazing. She pins me up against the side of the pool pressing her body against mine, and mine against the wall. I can feel her hands get a light grip on my waist, and I instinctively put my arms around her neck.

"I've never done anything like this before" I whisper to her. She doesn't respond, she just slowly moves her head towards mine, aiming for that soft kiss. Her mouth is just inches away from mine when we see a light go on, on the second floor of the house.

"we've got to go" she whispers as she we both get out of the pool. We can see a dark figure moving in the room and it looks like they're heading down stairs. We run and grab our clothes, not even having enough time to put them on as we run back to her car. We hop in and we can see all the lights on the house turn on one by one, they must have figured out someone was using their pool. Just as we're driving away I see a man come out of the side gate, he looks familiar.

That's when I realize it was the principal of our school.

"so where are we?" I asked holding my hands out in front of me. Ashley had blindfolded me and was now pushing me in some random direction. For all I know she could be pushing me off of a cliff. I can feel the dampness of my hair and clothes pressing against my body, but it's all taken away when I feel the warmth of Ashley's hands in mine.

"just stop talking for one minute. We'll be there soon"

"do you _always _happen to have a blindfold in the back of the car?"

"I use them a lot, what can I say?" I could tell she was smiling.

"wipe that dirty smirk off your face" I say, she gives a loud laugh.

"okay, we're here" I can feel her hands reach up behind my head and untie the knot slowly. The blindfold slips off my face and I look up to see the beach. But not only the beach, there was a blanket underneath a white canopy tent surrounded by a few candles.

"oh my god. How the hell did you get all of this arranged?" she literally picked me up like 30 minutes ago and was with me the whole time.

"I had some help. It pays to be rich" _how ironic… it PAYS to be RICH._

"I can't believe this" We head over underneath the tent and there's desert already waiting for us. "Dessert?"

"yeah, well I figured you already ate dinner, and thought who doesn't love a little sugar rush at night"

"you're right. But I still can't believe this." The view of the ocean at night was really beautiful even though we couldn't see much. But with the candles and the ambience it just seemed… right.

We sat down beside each other eating our cake and other deserts. "so this is the real you?" I ask.

"this is it" she confirms with a small smile. "I know, it's not the person you were expecting."

"you're right"

"let me guess, you were thinking the back room of some club where you think I bring all the girls"

"Actually, yeah kind of…" I laugh.

"people just judge too fast. I mean yeah, sometimes I have those nights but I'm not always _that_ person. I'm actually a lot more laid back than you perceive"

"oh really? Then what's with all the blindfolds and sex jokes?"

"that's just for fun" Ashley smirks. I look at her like I know she's lying, and she is. "okay, so I like sex" she admits making me laugh. At least she's honest.

"so tell me about you" I say as I sit up and face her.

"how about you ask me something, then I'll ask you something, and we'll keep going from there, but you have to answer every question, and you have to answer it honestly."

"okay deal. First question, when did you come out to your parents?"

"um, it's not so much that I came out, but more like I was caught in the 'act' with a girl which lead to a direct call from my mother to my dad"

"ouch"

"yeah, okay so… when was the last time you got some?"

"Ashley!" I push her on the shoulder.

"hey we agreed that these questions had to be answered and honestly too" she pointed out. Damn, I hate when people use logic and rules against me. There's no way out.

"okay… fine…" I grumble off something praying that she couldn't understand.

"sorry, how long?" she asks.

"6 months" I say more clearly.

"what?! 6 months?! I can barely go 6 days!"

"horny much?" But then I think. "wait, you asked me weeks ago…"

"and?"

"so then what does that mean?" I ask curiously, if she think she's going to get lucky tonight, she's got another thing coming.

"what do _you_ think it means?"

"um, well I think it means that you're looking for a little sleep over tonight" I say suggestively as I place my hand on her knee for a teasing purpose.

"would you happen to be the one throwing this sleep over?" she asks, leaning in a little.

I quickly take my hand back and lean back on my elbows. "nope, sorry. You're going to have to find some other innocent young blonde to hook up with tonight" I say with a smirk. She smiles and shakes her head, she gets up from her sitting position and onto her hands and knees leaning over me. She's so close I can practically feel her breath on my lips.

"that's too bad, because I don't wear any clothes to sleep" she says quietly. It's things like that, that make it hard to resist her. I lie down fully just to get away from her, but I quickly learn it's a bad idea as she leans down closer and now I'm trapped.

"don't you get cold at night though?" I ask slyly.

"not if there's another naked girl next to me" her fingers start going up and down my bare arm lightly. It's so light it's tickling me now. She leans down and puts her mouth beside my ears so she can talk to me. "Spencer Carlin, can I kiss you?" she asks softly.

I'm taken back by the sudden question. That was definitely something I wasn't expecting. I was expecting something more like her telling me I look hot, or that I'm turning her on, but not if she could kiss me. I don't think anyone's actually asked me that, now that I think about it. She's looking into my eyes now, still waiting for a response.

"I'm going to kiss you, if you don't want me to then just say the word" she whispers. She's starting to lean in, and I know that I really should move, or tell her something, or push her off, but I can't. I won't. She finally slowly lowers her lips on to mine, and God, are they soft. I start kissing her back, and I know I shouldn't but I can't help my self, there's just something so tempting about this girl. She finally pulls back, a little too soon if you ask me, but we're out of breath anyways. All of a sudden she gets this look in her eyes. But not the 'that was amazing' kind of a look, but more like 'I just made a huge mistake' kind of a look. She starts moving back and I sit up.

"what's wrong?" I ask.

"I'm sorry, maybe this was a mistake…" _Ashley say what now?_

"what?! You've been asking me out for weeks and you kiss me and now you say it was a mistake?"

"let's just go. Come on I'll drive you back to your place" she gets up and walks to her car. The only thing I can do is follow her and let her take me home. We pull into my drive way, and by now I'm pissed. Because she hasn't said a word to me the whole way home, she won't even look at me. I open the door and get out quickly, I slam it shut letting her know just how angry I am.

"Spencer…" she calls out before I'm out of hearing distance. I turn around one last time. This is her only chance to change it all. "… I'm sorry"

and she blows it. "yeah… me too. I thought you were different"

I was half expecting her to get out of the car and run towards me in hopes of the perfect fairy tale ending kiss. The other half expecting her to come out and take me right there in the middle of my front lawn. But neither happened, which is probably for the better since my family is probably watching from the front window as we speak.

Sometimes, I just don't understand this girl.

**Okay, so thanks for the reviews. And I know every1 wants spashley to work out, but there has to be some sort of drama/issues… so yeah. Don't bash.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I spent all of Saturday and Sunday in my room, all day. I was expecting a call from Ashley, but it never came. I just don't get it. One minute we were having a good time, the next she was saying she couldn't do it. This girl's more complicated than I thought.

It's Monday morning and I'm already dreading going to my locker, because I know hers is right next to mine. I see she's not there and hope I can quickly get in and out. I get my books, shut my locker and turn around to only be knocked over by Ashley _her self_. My books scatter all over the hallway and the bell rings. It seems I have a knack for being late for class.

"sorry" she says quietly. She helps me pick up my books, but I don't say anything. "hey can we talk?"

"I've got class" I say and start walking away with my books. She follows me but I just start walking faster.

"Spencer, we have the same first period class" she pointes out. Damn, I forgot that part. I slow down and turn around knowing that if I didn't talk to her now, I'd end up talking to her in class.

"okay, what?"

"look, about Saturday…"

"no, you know what? Don't worry about it." I say as if she's off the hook, but she isn't "I shouldn't have gone out with you in the first place" I say harshly and walk away. She deserved it. We both walk into class 10 minutes late, earning ourselves a look from the teacher. We take our seats at the back of the room and I try not to look at her.

"Spencer!" she whispers getting my attention. "can we just talk about it?"

"no!" I whisper back. I raise my hand to be excused from class to use the bathroom, and get away from Ashley for a few minutes. I walk into the empty bathroom and splash some cold water on my face. This girl is not doing anything to me. I won't let her get to me.

Before I know it the bathroom door swings open and in walks Ashley.

"Spencer…"

I let out a sigh just to let her know how annoyed I am. "what is it Ashley?" I ask with a little attitude.

"look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to flake on you on Saturday, it's just…"

"it's just what Ashley? You got your date and now you can go brag to the school. Once again, you are the girl who gets what ever she wants"

"it's not like that"

"then what is it like?"

"You're right, I do get what I want and who I want, and when I do I use them. It's just what I do. But on Saturday, when I kissed you, I realized if we went any further I wouldn't have been able to stop myself. Spencer, you're different from other girls. Usually they fall into my charm with the first sleezy pick up line I use. With you it's different. I'm just afraid that if I continue with what I'm doing I'm just going to use you and dump you, and I don't want to do that"

"then don't!"

"it's not that easy. It's like it's a habit for me!"

"Ash, do you want to know why I went out with you in the first place?" I didn't even let her answer. "it was because you said that wouldn't give up on me. That's what changed my mind. After all the flirting and the teasing, it was that one line that changed it. Ashley I gave you a chance and you blew it. From where I'm standing, you just gave up."

I walk out of the bathroom letting Ashley think about what I said. I still can't believe through all the hard work she's put towards us, she lets it all go down the drain in one date. That must be some sort of record.

I managed to avoid her for the rest of the morning, and instead of sitting with her and Stacey at lunch I went to sit with my brothers. They knew something was up with me, but I wouldn't tell them. They don't even know if it's Ashley, but it's pretty obvious it is. We're sitting in silence when I see Ashley start to head this way.

"I've got to go guys" I say as I get up and grab my bag. They watch me walk away and see that I was looking at Ashley who's trying to follow me. I manage to get away, but I see Ashley get stopped by my brothers.

(No POV)

"hey I don't know what you did, but you pissed her off" Glen said stepping in front of Ashley. Clay got up and stood beside Glen for intimidation purposes only.

"look, just let me by so I can talk to her" Ashley said impatiently.

"no" Clay said. "leave her alone"

"I just want to talk to her" Ashley said.

"look, Ashley, we like you just as much as the next person, but that's our little sister" Glen started. "and as much as I love to tease her and make fun of her, there's no way in hell I'm going to let someone break her heart"

"break her heart?" Ashley asks. "we've only been on _one_ date"

"and some how you managed to screw that up" Clay said.

"listen, just stay away from her, or you'll deal with us" Glen said.

"you two? You obviously don't know the connections I have around school" Ashley said.

"no, we are well aware of your connections. But that won't stop us from coming after you if you hurt our sister" Glen said. Without another word Ashley turned around and went back to her friend.

----

School ended about an hour ago and I've gotten about 17 calls from Ashley, each one leaving a message. But I haven't checked any yet, and I don't really plan to either. My phone starts ringing again and I look at the caller I.D., it's Kyla. So I answer it.

"hey Kyla"

"Spencer?" that's not Kyla's voice. "Spencer…"

"Ashley, leave me alone" I say and hang up the phone. Ashley must have taken Kyla's phone from her.

---

At Ashley and Kyla's…

"she hung up" Ashley said closing the phone. "thanks anyways" she said as she gave Kyla her phone back. They're sitting in Kyla's room, but Ashley has yet to leave, which can only mean one thing. She wants something.

"you know, I think we need one of our good ole' sisterly talks" Ashley suggests.

"we've never had one of those before" Kyla states.

"Well I think it's time we start" Ashley says. Kyla gives her a weird look and gets up to look out the window. Ashley gets up curiously and looks at the sky just like Kyla.

"what are you looking for?" Ashley asks.

"oh, I'm just waiting for the flying pigs to come by" Kyla says.

"okay ha ha" Ashley says sarcastically as she sits back down. "Kyla, why did I have to screw up?"

"it's in your nature"

"thanks" Ashley says sarcastically.

"look, Ashley, I'm sorry, but it's true. Look everyone knows what you do and how you do it, they expect that kind of stuff from you. But Spencer doesn't know you as well as everyone else. She doesn't know everything about your past."

"so what do I do?"

"change" Kyla said making Ashley look back at her puzzled. Ashley then look down at her clothes like a fool. "I meant change what you do, not your clothes"

"it wouldn't matter, Spencer's not talking to me and her brothers won't even let me get near her"

"okay I have an idea…"

---

The next day Kyla said she wanted to talk to me, but I didn't want to go over to her place. I know Ashley would try to talk to me there, so instead we went to my house. Everyday Glen would stay after school for basketball, while Clay would spend time with his girlfriend or go to the library. My parents were both working today, so it was just me and Kyla hanging out, alone.

We're sitting in the living room, just talking it out. I know Ashley sent her to talk to me.

"so how you doing?" Kyla asks casually.

"fine" that's a lie.

"yeah, whatever" Kyla says in a disbelieving manner. "so I heard Ashley screwed up big time…"

"yeah she did"

"what happened?"

"she kissed me and told me she couldn't do 'this'" I say, fully using air quotes.

"have you talked to her about it?"

"yeah, she said it was a 'habit'" I say, again using air quotes.

"what do you mean 'habit'?" she says, not using air quotes.

"well she said 'she doesn't wan-" I had my hands in the air, using air quotes, but Kyla grabbed my hands impatiently and put them down. I guess she doesn't like air quotes. "-she doesn't want to just date me and dump me' so I walked"

"do you think you're going to give her another chance?" she asks casually as she takes out her phone and starts texting someone. Who is she texting?

"I don't know. I want to date her, but if she gave up in just one date, what does that say about her?" I say. Before Kyla can respond my home phone rings. I pick up one of the cordless receivers and see it says Ashley's cell phone number on it.

"it's Ashley" I say

"are you going to answer it?" Kyla asks.

"no, I'll just let it go to the machine"

The phone stops ringing and my mother's voice comes from the machine. "hi, you've reached the Carlin family, but we're not in right now so please leave your message after the beep." _Beep_ "Spencer, it's me…" Ashley starts. "look, I know you're there right now listening to me"

_How does she knows that?_

"Kyla and I kind of arranged this." She said like she's reading my thoughts. She's pretty good at that. I glare at Kyla, who doesn't make eye contact. "look, don't blame her. Spencer, you need to know I didn't mean to back out on you like that. But Spencer I care for you so much, that I don't want to hurt you. I know it doesn't sound like much, but right now you're all I can think about. I spent almost 3 weeks chasing you and I'll spend 3 more if I have to. Because Spencer Carlin, you're worth fighting for. You're the _only _thing worth fighting for… So please, please, just talk to me" and without another word she hangs up.

Kyla and I are sitting silently in my living room. But not silently, we both have the sniffles from Ashley's little speech.

"well?" Kyla asks me, eyes with small tears in them. I don't answer her. I don't need to. I pick up the phone and start dialling. I don't know if I can fix it, but it's worth a try.

…right?


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Just to let you know, since I'm going back to school tmr, the updates won't come until the afternoon. Sorry. But I'm still going to try to update everyday. To cheer you up, here's another chapter!**

I'm pacing back and forth in the girls bathroom now. When I called Ashley back last night, I didn't really talk to her. Instead, I told her to meet me in the bathroom, so we could talk to face to face. Which I'm starting to regret. Saying what ever I wanted to say over the phone probably would have been easier.

All of a sudden Ashley walks in and this is where it's all going to go down.

"hey" she says softly.

"hi" I say simply.

"so did you like the message I left?" she asks hoping to get a rise out of me.

"Ashley, you screwed up. I don't know how you can screw up in one date, but you managed to."

"Spencer…"

"no, let me finish" I cut her off. "I want this to work. I really do. But if you're in it, you can't just back out when you want to, not like on our date. Ashley, if you really want to do this, we'll give it another shot. But all I'm asking is that you're careful, because I don't want to get hurt"

"I'm sorry, I would never intentionally hurt you. I just, I want this to work out so badly that I fear with one mistake I could lose you. Spencer, I promise to you that I will try my best to make this work. My best is all that I can give to you. And I want to give you everything"

_Step 1:Swoon. Step 2: Collect thoughts. Step 3: Speak. Those are my steps to dealing when Ashley Davies says something amazing._

"…alright, we'll give this a go" I say. "but we have to start off slow and work our way there." I whisper as I take a step closer to her. She gives me a light smile and pulls me in closer by the waist.

"thank you" she whispers back. "now, can we continue where we left off?" she asks softly as she brings her lips down to mine. It feels so good to finally be able to kiss Ashley.

---

We stayed in the bathroom for a few extra minutes, we didn't do much. We didn't even kiss. We just stood there, watching each other. Well maybe watching wasn't the right word… we were more just looking at each other. You would have thought it'd be awkward but it wasn't. It was actually kind of comforting. Okay, so I know you're probably thinking 'that was too easy'. And it was. But I couldn't help myself. You try spending all of your time with this girl and not develop feelings for her. I dare ya.

This time she got off a little easy, but next time - which I hope there won't be, but I know there will be – I won't be so forgiving. There's only so many chances you get with me.

---

We walk back into class at the same time, not caring what kind of looks we get from everyone else. As far as they're concerned we just went to the bathroom. But I know the rumours would be out by lunch. We respectively take our seats at the back of the class room and Stacey sees us sit down at the same time.

"have fun making out in the bathroom?" she asks. Neither of us dignify that with an answer because technically we weren't making out. There was one kiss, but it's not like we were all over each other or anything. Our lunch period was spent together, with Stacey of course, and not to mention all the stairs from the rest of the student body. We were just talking during lunch, no kissing, no holding hands, no touching at all. To anyone we would have just looked like a couple of friends having lunch together. But everyone thinks there is something else going on, and maybe there is… I haven't quite figured it out yet.

After lunch I took my seat in my class next to Kyla. Even though Ashley kind of hated her, doesn't mean I have to too.

"hey Kyla" I say, sitting down in my seat.

"so I heard you and Ash were doing the dirty in the bathroom today…" she says with a small smirk on her face. God! This school has a wild imagination.

"we weren't 'doing the dirty' as you so kindly put it. Nothing really happened"

"nothing _really_ happened?" she questions.

"okay what does it matter, we didn't have sex in the bathroom or anything"

"so are you guys dating now or something?"

"you know, for having a sister who hates you, you sure seem to want to know a lot about her life" I say completely dodging the question. And it works.

"hey, I'm just looking out for you"

"for me? I can handle myself thank you"

"fine, don't come crying to me when she breaks your heart" I would have said 'she's not going to break my heart' but then again I can't prove that. "I just know Ashley has relationship problems"

"we're not in a relationship." _Yet_. "we're just seeing how things are going…"

"uh huh… well I can tell you, things aren't heading for a relationship. Like I said before… Ashley doesn't do relationships" _I thought she was supposed to be helping her sister…_

"hey, people can change"

After school I'm walking home again and I can see out of the corner of my eye that car sneaking up on me. Before I can say anything or turn around I hear her honk her horn.

"hey, I'm looking for a hot chick to ride shot gun… you know any?" she asks with a smile.

"blonde hair, blue eyes, and a nice body okay for you?" I ask referring to myself walking around the side of the car to get in. Yes, sometimes I can be a little cocky.

"sure… call her up" she says. I scoff. I know she means it as a joke. I throw my bag in her back seat and get in the front.

"you busy right now?" she asks… uh oh, that means she has something planned.

"yeah" I can see the visible disappointment on her face. "I'm hanging out with a hot brunette" she instantly lights up. She doesn't actually tell me where we're going but I suspect its her house because I can see we're driving through the back streets with all the really big houses. We pull into her U-shaped drive way and walk through the gigantic house. It really is huge, but we don't actually see anyone in it. I was kind of expecting her mom to greet us or something, but what ever. She opens a random door, which I suspect is her bedroom as I see a large window, with white curtains casting some sunlight onto her queen size bed. To the right is a door way leading to what I guess is the closet or bathroom… or another hallway that leads to both, who knows? On the left I see her desk and a few book cases, all filled with as many books as possible.

"wow, what's with the books?" I ask stepping in front of the large shelves. I can see everything from Harry Potter to Pride and Prejudice.

"I like to read" she says as she crawls up on her bed.

"you've read _all_ of these books?"

"yeah, some of them more than others" Honestly, I would have never taken her for a reading girl. More like a slacker in school and a wild child at parties. But never a reader. There must have been nearly 400 books on the shelf.

"what do you like to read?" I ask as a take a seat by the edge of her bed. I don't want to make it look like I'm coming on to her.

"anything. Mostly classics though. The classics never get old"

"I guess that's why they call them classics" I say with a smile, she smiles too, she's got a really nice smile I tell you. It's one of those contagious smiles. I sit further back on the bed, getting a little more comfortable. "so why did you bring me to your bedroom? Trying to get lucky?" I ask referring to the bed we're sitting on.

"is there any chance that I will?"

"not tonight" I say giving her hope.

"that's what I thought… that's why I rented some movies" she says as she hops off her bed and runs to the TV that's up against the wall. "we have the ring, the hills have eyes, and saw 3"

"you purposely got scary movies didn't you?" I ask, I really hate scary movies. They scare the shit out of me. And I'm like talking one scary movie 2 weeks without sleep.

"me? Do that on purpose? I have no idea what you're talking about" she says with a hidden smile and pops in one of the movies. She turns off the lights, closes the curtain behind her bed and come back in to lean against the head board. I'm still sitting at the end of the bed like a fool.

"you can come sit back here you know. I don't bite… unless you want me to" she says as she clears her pillows out of the way beside her. I slide back there and now I'm sitting about a foot away from her. We both know there's a ton of space between us, but we don't do anything. 20 minutes into the movie and I'm already scared shitless. I'm clenching onto the pillow for dear life, looking like I'm about to tear it apart.

"Spencer… okay Spencer" she says trying to get the pillow from my death grip. "I like using pillows when I sleep at night. And if you rip it I can't exactly use it, now can I?"

"oh sorry" I say as I let go of the pillow, trying to smooth out the crinkles I made. Then all of a sudden there's a loud shrill scream that came from the TV. I immediately jump out of my place and grab onto Ashley for support. I'm sure she doesn't mind.

"oh come on, it's not that scary" she says.

"fine" I say as I let go of her and go back to my spot a foot away from her. I can tell she already regrets telling me it's not scary. I bet she just wants to hold me as much as I want her to.

I can see the regret on her face, then all of a sudden she let's out a loud girly scream like the one I heard from the movie. I instinctively grab back on to her in fear and shut my eyes. I open them to see her with a big smile on her face and an arm wrapped around my body. Oh she planned it alright.

"don't do that! That scared the shit out of me"

"you know if you're scared you can come sit closer…" she offered and who was I to turn down such a polite offer? I scoot a little closer, but she looks expectantly at me, so I move even closer. She gets fed up and pulls me in closer so that our arms and hips are touching.

"much better" she says. For the rest of the movie we're not really paying attention, we're actually playing footsy. Every so often one of us would giggle or smile at the other person.

In the middle of the movie I see Ashley playing with a couple of bracelets on her wrist. She always seems to wear them.

"what's with the bracelets?" I ask randomly. She looks down and realizes she's fiddling with them.

"oh, my dad gave them to me after his first tour. They were selling them at their very first concert." She says as she shows me them a little closer. They're rubber bracelets (like the livestrong bracelets) and Ashley seems to love them. I guess I would love them too if my dad was never around.

"I love these things… I never take them off. They're the only thing connecting me to my dad right now"

"I'm getting kind of bored of the movie" I say quickly changing the subject.

"okay… well do you want to watch one of the other movies or do you want to-"

"-I had something else in mind…" I say as I put a hand on her thigh. Not to high up, I don't want to say I'm a slut, but not to low down, I don't want her to think I'm just randomly grabbing her.

"and what is this something else?" she asked inquisitively as she leans in a little closer to me. I grab the remote to the TV and turn it off.

"well there's this thing that happened in the bathroom today" _the kiss._ "but I can't quite remember what it was…"

"well maybe I could remind you a little…" she starts leaning in, oh god she is so beautiful. Her lips touch mine for about less than a second before my phone starts ringing. Like I said, I was a firm believer in signs.

"sorry" I whisper as a I pull out my phone from my pocket. "hello?" It's my mom, she's wondering where I am. I tell her I'm with a friend, glancing at Ashley with a smile, her hand on my knee starts moving up and I quickly push it away. My mom tells me she's expecting me home for dinner soon, which is code for 'come home now'. I tell her I'll be home soon and I can see the smile on Ashley's face disappear. I close my phone and turn to a sad Ashley.

"sorry, my mom wants me home for dinner"

"and just when it was getting good. But you know it's probably for the better. I like my girls to hold back a little."

"so I'm your _girl_ now huh?" _Notice: it's only girl… not girl-friend. That's fine with me. For now._

"yeah well, we have this kissing thing going on… so I guess you'll have to do" she says with a shrug. I push her back down on to the bed playfully and kneel over her.

"you're lucky I have to go or else I'd _hurt_ you"

"don't you mean you'd _kiss_ me?" she asks as she can see that I'm only a few inches hanging above her. I lean down and I'm about to kiss her when I turn my head so that my mouth is beside her ear.

"I guess you'll never know" I whisper and hop out of the bed.

_She totally wants me._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I was walking down the hall, taking my time to get to my class. I actually have time to do that now that I know where they all are. So here I am placing one foot in front of the other not really thinking about anything… okay that's a lie, I'm thinking about her. That wonderful girl who seems to occupy my thoughts 24/7. I even had a dream about her the other night, it _definitely_ had a happy ending, but not one of those happy endings you find in fairy tales. It was more of the happy ending you find in a porno, if you know what I mean.

Anyways, back to walking and thinking. Ashley. She's beautiful, funny, obviously well read and she's just someone who makes me feel good. All of a sudden a see a brunette come up beside me. I thought it was her but it turned out to be her sister.

"hey Ky" I say, yeah, we're on that phase of our friendship where we call each other by the first syllable of our name.

"hey Spence, what's up?"

"nothing, just enjoying a nice walk to class" I say casually looking around.

"you're thinking about her aren't you?" she knows me too well.

"okay, yeah, I just can't get her out of my head" I say with a goofy grin, and she can see the grin.

"be careful with her"

"Kyla, I've known her for weeks, none of this 'she's bad news' stuff has come true." Well that's not exactly true. "I mean, we're friends or a little more than friends or something… I don't know. All I know is that everyone is just judging her."

We're walking passed the quad and just as I say all of these nice things about the girl I like, we just happen to see her sitting on the same picnic table talking with some girl. Correction: flirting with some girl. So much for _nice_.

By this time Kyla and I have stopped walking and now we're staring, at the same thing. I still can't believe my eyes. Ashley's sitting on top of the table and smiling and giggling with some other brunette standing in front of her. Ashley's holding her hand swinging it back and forth. I see the other brunette throw her head back in laughter, I bet Ashley said something sexual again. Wait, what's this? Ashley just kissed the back of the other girl's hand. This is ridiculous. I knew I shouldn't have fallen for this girl. Is that what it is now? I've fallen for her? I've got to get this out of my head.

Ashley finally looks up at sees me staring at her. Apparently I must be a book because she can read me and knows I am not happy. She drops the hand of the girl in front of her and feels guilty for what she's done. She starts to get up off the table but I quickly turn to Kyla.

"I don't feel like going to class. I think I'm just going to skip and go home" I say quickly, I don't want to face Ashley right now.

"Spencer, don't let her get to you"

"let who get to me? Ashley?" I play it off as if I don't care. "no, I'm just not… not feeling well. I'll call you later for the homework" I take one last glance at Ashley who's trying to come towards me through the crowd, but I turn in the opposite direction and get away.

I'm lying on my bed at home already, both of my parents are at work and my brothers are at school so I'm in the clear. I turn my head to see the clock. School got out about 10 minutes ago. I know Ashley's going to be looking for me, wondering where I am, but I don't really feel like talking to her. I'm expecting my phone to ring, but instead the door bell goes off. I look out my window expecting to see an expensive car, but I don't, I don't see any cars at all. I know this means it's not Ashley. She never goes anywhere without one of her highly over priced leather interior cars. I head down stairs and open the door to see Kyla. But she's a little battered up, her hair is a little messy, her eye is a little red, probably a shiner, and she has a scratch on her left cheek. It's obvious there was a cat fight.

"oh my god Kyla! What the hell happened!?" I ask as I pull her into my house. She looks kind of sad and angry at the same time, but she's not going to cry. I can see it in her eyes.

"there was a little fight at school…"

"a fight!? Who pissed you off enough to get in a fight?!"

"… Ashley" _I think I just blanked out, did she say Ashley?_

"Ashley?!"

"don't worry, she looks just as bad as I do" she says trying to lighten the mood.

"what happened? I mean did you two get into your sisterly fights or something?"

"no, it's nothing like that… I just talked to her after you left."

"about what?"

"well, it kind of happened like this…"

_Flashback_

"_no, I'm just not… not feeling well. I'll call you later for the homework" Spencer says and walks away. Kyla looks back at Spencer and can tell she's really hurt. Kyla turns back around and realizes this is all Ashley's fault. She sees Ashley walking over towards her, obviously trying to chase Spencer, but Kyla instantly steps in front of her._

"_what the hell is wrong with you?!" Kyla yells catching everyone's attention in the quad._

"_excuse me?" Ashley says as she turns and faces Kyla.._

"_she likes you! She really likes you and here you are flirting with some whore!" Kyla yells, some people start to gather in a circle around them._

"_what did you just call me?" the brunette girl asks as she steps up beside Ashley._

"_shut up" Kyla snaps back, earning an 'ooooh' from the newly formed audience._

"_why don't you stay out of my business and out of my life" Ashley says taking a step closer to Kyla._

"_why are you doing this to her?"_

"_this is none of your business!" Ashley yells._

"_yes it is! She's my friend!"_

"_friend? You don't have any friends… you're just a wanna be version of me, and everyone knows it"_

"_this isn't about us!" Kyla yells. "for once, can't you just own up to your problems?! You've been chasing her weeks and she finally gives you a chance and here you are trying to pick up another girl right in front of her, EVEN after I helped you get her back!"_

"_we're not even serious, even ask her, that's what she keeps telling me"_

"_really? If you're not serious then why did Spencer pretend to go home sick after seeing you with this skank?"_

"_s-she skipped because she saw me flirting with another girl?" Ashley asked, her tone became a whole lot softer._

"_yeah and she's obviously upset over it. If you had a HEART you wouldn't do this!"_

"_okay, that's it!" Ashley says as she pushes Kyla. She takes a few steps and loses her balance quickly. "I'm tired of you horning in on my life"_

_Kyla gets up and dusts her self off just to walk back up to Ashley. "well I'm tired of using girls that like you, especially when they're my friends!" Kyla says as she pushed Ashley even harder. She stumbles back and one of the spectators catches her before she can fall. She gets up and fast walks over to Kyla and they start going at it. A few slaps and scratches are made, and not to mention some hair pulling. Stacey being the friend she was tried to pull the two girls off of each other but in the end they all end up falling and Stacey quickly gets out before she gets too hurt. But Kyla and Ashley are still rolling on the ground kicking the shit out of each other. _

_A couple minutes later the fight is broken up by the school principal. The two girls were practically dragged to the office, and everyone else was sent to their class rooms. They spent last period in the office with a couple of ice packs, but not talking to each other. As soon as the final bell rang Kyla left the office not even caring about anything. She doesn't want to go home and deal with Ashley's mom, who is her current guardian, so she goes somewhere else. She goes to Spencer's house._

_End of Flashback_

"you and Ashley got into a fight?" Spencer asks.

"look I'm sorry, I just was tired of her hurting everyone. I saw how you reacted."

"no, look we're not girlfriends, we've only been out on like one date, so technically I have no control over her" It's true. Technically I did not say that we're exclusive, which I'm starting to regret.

"but she has control over you"

"what are you talking about?"

"you're so infatuated with her that you don't even care about dating other girls. She doesn't_ stop_ dating other girls"

"Kyla, you still shouldn't have gone all 'cat fight' on her"

"meh" she shrugs. "it was kind of fun, well not fun, but it's something I've wanted to do for a while" she says cracking a smile. It makes me smile to. But I still can't believe it.

"I thought you two were finally getting along" I say.

"no, not really. I mean she still gives me rides in the morning because I have to, but she usually just uses me to help you when she screws up"

"I'm sorry, I thought she as being nice to you"

"don't worry about it. I finally got some of my anger out"

"so where is she anyways?"

"I don't know… I left when the bell rang, I just left her in the office. But I should probably get home, Ashley's mom is probably going to have a bitch fit." She says making me laugh. I walk her up to the door to say goodbye.

"listen, Kyla, thanks for being a great friend, but you didn't have to get into a fight for me… maybe we're just not meant to work out"

"look, but it wasn't just for you, it was for all of those girls she's hurt in the past" She really is a good friend. I give her a quick hug good bye and I'm about to head up the stairs to my bedroom when the doorbell goes off. I turn around thinking Kyla just forgot something but when I opened the door I found another beat up brunette.

"Ashley?"

"hey, mind if I come in?" she asks quietly as she steps in my door way, I move out of the way and let her in without a word. "so I take it Kyla was here?"

"yeah, how'd you know?"

"I saw her walking out" of course she did.

"right…"

"look, about earlier-"

"no, don't worry about it. I'm not your girlfriend you can do what ever you want" I say, and not with attitude. This really,_technically_ isn't her fault.

"you know, before today, I've never really had a problem with doing what I did. You know… the whole flirting with another girl, when I kissed someone else a few days before. Usually I wouldn't care. But Spencer, when I saw that look on your face, something just happened. If it were anyone else I would have just continued flirting, but that hurt in your eyes… it did something to me. Spencer, you have to understand it's a little scary for me. I've never really cared for someone as much as you, and I don't know why, it's just the way it is."

"so what are you trying to say Ash?"

She takes my hand in hers and takes off one of her bracelets, the ones that mean more to her than anything. "what I'm trying to say is… Spencer Carlin, will you be my girlfriend?"

I don't answer; I'm still a little taken back, because she takes on of her precious rubber bracelets and puts it on _my_ wrist. One of her bracelets that she has _never_taken off.

_Step 1: Swoon. Step 2: Collect thoughts. Step 3: Speak._

I open my mouth but I have a little trouble getting words out. "I…"

_Step 3 isn't as easy as it seems._


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Ashley went home hours ago. It's almost 2:30am and I'm still lying awake in bed looking at this bracelet. I know it means a lot if Ashley gave me this. It was one of the two bracelets she'd never taken off. I have one and she has one.

_Flashback_

"_what I'm trying to say is… Spencer Carlin, will you be my girlfriend?"_

"_I… I d-don't know" I reply. I can see the hope in her eyes quickly fade. "look, Ashley, this… this is wow. But I don't know if I can"_

"_why not?" she asks barely above a whisper._

"_you are always going to want to be with another girl. Whether it's you're hooking up, or flirting, or something like that. And yeah, sometimes that girl is going to be me, but… sometimes it's not. I just don't know if I can handle it"_

"_what if… what if I told you that you were the only girl I would see? What if I said that I would only flirt with you, only date you and only kiss you? What if you and me were girlfriends and only saw each other? What would you say?"_

"… _I would say… I have to think about it"_

_End of Flashback_

She left after that to let me think. I've been thinking for the passed 10 hours now and I still haven't come to a decision. I'm looking down at the bracelet still on my wrist and I don't know if I can do this. I seem to be falling for this girl, but trusting her is something else.

I called up Kyla a while ago asking her to meet me a few minutes before school starts. I need to talk to someone about this. I'm hiding in a slightly dark hall with barely anyone around when Kyla comes around the corner.

"hey, what's up?" she asks.

"this" I say showing her my wrist. "this is up!" that doesn't really make sense but that's okay. I show her the bracelet and her eyes instantly well up. I can tell she knows what the bracelet is but she hasn't talked to Ashley.

"did she give this to you?"

"yeah, along with a proposal to be her girlfriend"

"girlfriend?!"

"I know, right!"

"what did you say?"

"I-I told her that I needed to think about it. She's expecting my answer today. She said she only wants to see me, only wants to flirt with me and only wants to kiss me. She just wants to be with _me_"

"so what are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know!" I start pacing back and forth in the hallway. "part of me just wants to kiss her so badly, but the other part is so scared that she's just going to hurt me"

"you know yesterday, I went to talk to her after school, about the whole fight thing. I saw her sitting on her bed staring at her bracelet. She wasn't really doing anything, just looking at it and fiddling with it. She spent hours looking at that bracelet."

"so what does that mean?"

"I have no clue what you've done to her, but she's different now. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like what ever she does or says or thinks, it always has something to do with you. Spence, I don't know how you did it, but you've changed her. Look, I know me and Ashley have our family problems so coming from me it means something. She cares about you. Don't pass up an opportunity like this. Because I know when she cares for someone, she really cares for them"

That was all it took. That small, short speech like comment Kyla gave me changed it. I already know she's waiting for me by my locker because she knows I need to go there every morning before class. I know my answer but I think a little teasing is in store for this girl, after all she did flirt with another girl after she kissed me. It's time for a little pay back.

I walk up to my locker and I see her leaning against hers and quickly stand up as I come closer.

"hey Spencer" she says.

"hey" I say back like nothing ever happened. Like everything in the world is okay.

"so have you given any thought about my proposal yesterday?" she asks as she looks down at my wrist. She asks me if I've given any thought, pfft. I've never given so much thought to anything in my life before.

"oh right…" I say as if I just remembered it. "listen Ash…" I start off sounding a little glum. I've already got her fooled.

"no, no, it's okay don't worry about it" she says, she looks like she's about to cry. I better stop the game now.

"… I was going to say I would love nothing more than to be the girlfriend of Ashley Davies" I say with a huge smile. She looks up as if she just won the lottery. I love that look on her face.

"are you sure?"

"what? Are you trying to change my mind or something?"

"no, it's just I don't want to pressure you into anything and I know this is kind of a big deal for you and I would never…" she's babbling. It's so cute. Before she could continue I cut her off by pressing my lips down on to hers. I guess this means I am officially her girlfriend.

Before the kiss gets too intense I pull back with a smile.

"walk me to class?" I ask, shutting my locker door.

"Spencer, we have the same class"

"so then you better walk me to class, or I might just take it as an insult"

"come on" she says as we turn and start walking down the hallway. We don't get too far before I feel her fingers intertwine with mine. I look to her a little surprised, but the shock leaves me face as I see a smile appear on hers. Now _THIS_ means I am officially her girlfriend.

Me and Ash walk into class just before the bell rings and take our seats at the back of the class. Before we even sit down we hear Stacey yell "oh my god!"

The whole class turns around to look at her.

"was I talking to you?" she asks the whole class. They all just turn back around. "that's right. I was talking to you two" she says looking at us.

"what about us?" Ashley asks.

"um, how about how you two are holding hands and not to mention she's got your bracelet on? What the hell happened and how did I miss it?!" 

"oh this?" Ashley asks holding up my wrist to show Stacey the bracelet. "Stacey, let me introduce you to Spencer, my girlfriend" she says with a smile. She's so cute.

"girlfriend?! Oh. My. God!" It was amusing to watch Stacey's reaction. "I don't believe it!"

"well you better" Ashley says as she puts her arm around me. It's comforting but for some reason I feel like Ashley's a little uncomfortable.

"wow, I mean just wow…" Stacey says still in awe. But then she closes her mouth and hits Ashley in the shoulder rather abruptly.

"ow! What the hell was that for?!" Ashley asks.

"you bitch! I'm your best friend and I have to find out that you've got a girlfriend through rumours!" she said jokingly.

"hey, I only found out like less than 10 minutes ago myself"

"hey, at least you got to sleep last night, I was up all night just thinking about you" I say.

"you were thinking about me late at night?" she asks seductively. Of course she makes everything dirty.

"get your mind out of the gutters" I say with a smile and push her face a little.

"I'm sorry, but you're just so damn hot" Oh god, I think I'm blushing. She smiles at me because she knows I'm blushing.

"I'll be back" I say and I go up to the teacher to ask if I can be excused to go to the bathroom. I knew they needed some time to talk.

(no POV)

"so what the hell Ash?" Stacey said.

"I know, I know it's kind of out of the blue, but she's different"

"she must be if you gave her your bracelet. I mean that things been like glued to you since the day you got it"

"like I said… she's different"

"so you're really going to do this?"

"of course, why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know it's just, it's been a while since you've had an actual girlfriend"

"it has…"

"are you sure you can do it?"

"what do you mean?"

"well, it's been so long since you've had a girlfriend. You can't kiss anyone else or even flirt with them"

"okay, I'm not stupid, I know I can't do that stuff"

"but there's other things too. You have to be there for her if she needs a shoulder to cry on, and you have to do romantic stuff, and-"

"-sex?"

"no, well okay yeah that too, but if you're really going to do this you have to be a full time girlfriend"

"and I will be… just watch"

It was lunch and Ashley and Stacey meet me up at my locker.

"hey cutie" Ashley says giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"right back at ya" I say. We start walking down the hall, slowly, to get to the quad. It gets a little awkward but then I see Stacey mouth something to Ashley. I pretend like I don't see anything but I know she tells her to carry my books.

"here let me get these for you" Ashley says taking the two notebooks I have out of my hands.

"how chivalrous of you" I say handing them over with a smile. Who am I to turn down such a service?

Me and Ashley were standing in line to buy our lunch and Stacey was off reserving a seat at our regular table. We can see her from the line but it's not like anything interesting is happening. I'm about to pay for my lunch when Ashley gets a text message from someone. Before I could hand the cash over to the lunch lady, Ashley cuts in.

"I got it" she says paying for both of our lunches. It was obvious the text was from Stacey telling her to pay for my lunch.

"you know, I'm not poor, I can afford lunch"

"I know, but I want to pay."

"only if I can make it up to you later"

"oh, well if you insist" she says with a wicked smile.

It was me Ashley and Stacey all sitting at our picnic table, no one else ever sits there. They knew if they did they would have to deal with the wrath that is Ashley Davies. But today was different.

"so why exactly does Mrs. Arnold hate you guys so much?" I ask. I'm talking about our first period teacher. For some reason she's always a bitch to Ashley and Stacey, and now me.

Stacey and Ashley start laughing. "oh, well you can thank Ashley here for that"

"what? Why?" I ask, not seeing what's so funny.

"she used to date her daughter" Stacey says.

"oh, you didn't" I say like it's a terrible thing.

"what? I needed a good grade in her class" Ashley says jokingly, I slap her on the shoulder.

"I'm kidding, I didn't realize she was Mrs. Arnold's daughter until after I kissed her" I shake my head in joking disappointment.

"who else have you dated?" I ask

"I think a better question who be who hasn't she dated" Stacey chimed in. We all started laughing. Ashley really does get around a lot. All of a sudden some random girl in a short skirt comes by our table.

"Ashley!" she yells in a high pitch voice… speaking of getting around. She sits down across Ashley's lap and gives her a kiss on _my_ girlfriend's cheek. Who the hell does she think she is? "it's been so long, when are we going to go out again?" she asks, like nothing is wrong, even though I look pissed and Stacey and Ashley look a little shocked. The random slut is now tracing a finger along _my_ girlfriend's jaw. This girl must be an idiot, I mean hasn't she heard the rumours? Most of them aren't true, but still.

"um Jen, I have a girlfriend now" Ashley says as she looks over at me. This Jen girl is still sitting in her lap. She cranes her head to look at me. She looks down then back up again as if she's checking out what I got. By the look on her face she looks disgusted.

"so?" she asks. I'm just getting angrier now.

"so?!" I yell. I grab her arm and pull her off of my girlfriend. "this is MY girlfriend, and she's not interested in you anymore, so I think you should get lost, skank!" I yell as _I _sit down on Ashley's lap and plant a kiss on her lips. I pull back after a couple of seconds to still see the girl standing in the same place, still in shock.

"you can leave now" I add as I smile and turn away from her. By the look in Stacey's eyes I can tell the Jen girl is gone.

"damn!" Stacey yells, but she pronounces it like she's gangster or something. You know, how people say day-umm, instead of damn. "Ash, your girl is feisty!"

"yeah I know, I saw!" Ashley said, I can tell she's surprised too. Hell, even I'm surprised, I didn't know I had it in me.

"yeah well, that girl needed to know that you are taken… by me" I say cheerfully as I give Ashley another quick kiss on the lips.

After school I see Ashley at her locker, which is right next to mine.

"hey Ash" I say, and she turns around with a smile.

"hey babe, what's up?"

"nothing… just missing my girlfriend" I say, and yes I realize I'm corny, but I like corny.

"hey you two" Stacey says coming up to us.

"hey" we say together.

"so what are we doing tonight?" she asks.

(A/N: okay sorry about these random lines here, I can't get rid of them. Yes I know, I'm retarded)

"um you guys want to do a movie/pizza night at my place?" Ashley asks.

"sure" I reply.

"uh, stuck in a bedroom with you two? No thanks, I hate being the third wheel"

"oh come on, you won't be the third wheel" I say, well maybe she will but I'm nice enough not to say it. Ashley scoffs, so much for being nice.

"I'm going to go but you two have fun tonight" she says with a wink.

We make our way to the parking lot and get in her convertible. "you know, you don't have to do all this stuff for me"

"what do you mean?"

"carrying my books, buying my lunch… I mean, I'm glad Stacey is helping you and all but you don't have to do anything you don't want to"

"you saw her?"

"yeah… you guys are a little too obvious"

"it's just it's been a while since I've had to take care of my girlfriend like I should and Stacey's just trying to help."

"that's the problem, I don't need someone to take care of me. I just want to be with you and have fun. Yeah, sure it's nice sometimes to have my girlfriend do all of this great stuff for me, but I don't want it to look like I'm using you."

"well you could use me for sex if you wanted to…" she offers slyly.

"Ashley…" I counter playfully.

"okay, I'll tone down the what ever, I just want to let everyone know you are my girlfriend and that's the way it is."

"now that I can't argue with" I say as we pull up to her house. We head up to her room after ordering a pizza and pop in Miss. Congeniality. We're laying down on the bed, Ashley's sitting kind of crooked but with her back against the head board of her bed, and I'm laying with my head in her lap.

"Ash?"

"mm?"

"before when I asked you what you didn't get in life, what did you mean by a mom and a dad?"

"my dad's a musician, he doesn't really have too much home time. And my mom? She isn't your stereotypical mom, I can go days without even seeing her even though we're staying the same house. Sometimes she just leaves to go to another city for a few days for no reason. She takes these little vacations every couple of weeks"

"I'm sorry"

"it's okay, I've got someone I care about" she says as she kisses me softly. She pulls back a little too quickly, but I need more, so before she sits back up I pull her down by the neck for another kiss. She's almost upside down to me but it's still amazing. She moves her body so that it's beside mine and I can feel her hand moving up and down my arm. I think I have the goose bumps. The kiss starts to get a little more heated when someone walks in the room.

"hey Ash, your pizza is here-" It's Kyla and apparently she doesn't know that I'm here. We quickly pull apart and I sit up away from Ashley. "-oh sorry, I-I didn't know Spencer was over"

"okay seriously, do I have to like send you a memo or something? You have to knock before you come into my room!" Aw look, she's all flustered now that she didn't get her fun. It's really cute actually.

"right. Knock. Sorry." She hands the pizza over to Ashley who let's out a sigh signalling Kyla to leave. She turns back around to see me, it's now I realize I'm sitting almost on the edge of the bed, keeping to myself.

"sorry, it's things like this that make me dislike her" she says as she opens the box of pizza and offers me some. After having a couple slices each, we're now sitting on the floor in front of her bed and between the TV.

"you know Kyla's one of my close friends at King High…"

"why?" she asks coldly.

"Ashley, Kyla's a good person. She stood up for me, remember? It's how you guys got into that fight"

"right, another reason to hate her"

"do you think you could try to get along with her? Please?" I turn on the puppy dog eyes in hopes of a little persuasion.

"sorry, I've got a firm commitment to hate this girl" Ashley says.

I guess it's time to pull out the big guns. "please…" I say again, this time my hand is on her thigh and slowly moving up and down, each time inching upwards. I can see her visibly gulp.

"Spencer…" she whines, I can tell it's starting to work.

"please…" I whisper seductively into her ear. "I'll make it worth your while"

"oh god" she whispers as her eyes flutter shut. She is so turned on right now. "fine"

"yes! Thanks babe" I say as I give her a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"what!? You give me a kiss and that's it?"

"were you expecting something more?"

"well… yeah…"

"oh, well why didn't you say so?" I ask as I get up and straddle her across the waist. I start kissing her and I can feel her hands just below the hem of my shirt drawing invisible circles. I start kissing her, now a little harder, now down her neck…

"oh Ash, by the way-" Kyla comes in, once again. "oh god- sorry! I forgot to knock again!" she says as she quickly runs out of the room. I climb off Ashley because we both know she's still on the other side of the room.

Ashley let's out a frustrated sigh but looks at me, and I know she's trying. "Kyla…" Ashley calls out. Kyla slowly opens the door and peaks her head in.

"you want some pizza?" Ashley offers. Kyla's face visibly lights up and she runs into the room to grab some pizza and sits down on the other side of me.

"so what are we watching?" she asks as she takes a bit out of her slice, it's like she was expecting all this to happen. At least she's happier, and I'm happier, and Ashley _will_ be happier. She just doesn't know it yet.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Hey sorry I've taken so long to update, um here's another chapter. Hope you like it. **

Today's the day of our English presentation first period. Let me tell you right now I seriously hate doing presentations. Especially in front of 30 strangers that some people call class mates. But seriously I like have a nervous break down. In our group there's me, Ash, and Stacey. When it's in groups its better. But since I'm new and few people know me, it gives them a chance to judge me. Which makes everything that much worse. It's our turn to go up and present. I can barely remember what our presentation is on, but that's what cue cards are for right? So we're up there and I'm not looking at the audience just to ensure I don't pass out. But when my line comes I accidentally look up. Big mistake. I freeze in the middle of the line and I can't help but stare back at everyone. All of a sudden I heard a loud thud.

Oh wait. That was me. Hitting the floor.

I don't remember too much after that, but that's mainly because I passed out for 20 minutes. The teacher decided to let Ashley and Stacey present without me from now on. They claimed they didn't want me going to the hospital next time. What I do remember is waking up to see Ashley holding my hand and trying to wake me up. I guess I don't mind passing out if I get to see this beautiful face every time I open my eyes.

Me, and Ash were sitting her eating our lunch like usual when we saw Kyla finishing up from her locker. I know Ashley saw her, but didn't want to do anything, so I did something.

"Kyla, come sit with us" I say, she freezes for a second checking to make sure I'm actually talking to her. Once she realizes that I am she comes and sits with us.

"hi guys" she says quietly. Things are still a little awkward between her and Ashley. "… so I heard someone passed out in period one?" she asks with a smirk, taking a sip of her water bottle. I can feel the blood rush to my face, it's not easy trying to hide a blush.

"yeah, Spencer here forgot to tell us she's not too good with public speaking"

"it's the public part that worries me" I say.

"it's really not that bad. I mean once you get over all of the rumours that people say, it's okay." Stacey says. This really isn't making me feel better.

"can we just… change the subject? Please?" I ask, everyone starts laughing at me a little.

"so did you hear there's another new kid?" Kyla says.

"is she gay?" I ask right off of the bat. I can see Ashley smile. Yes, I am a little over protective sometimes.

"no, and it's a he"

"ok, well that makes it a little better" I say.

"oh, there he is now" Kyla says discretely pointing to some guy at another group of guys. He's kind of tall, dark brown hair, he's pretty handsome for a guy, I must say. Not that I would go for him or anything. I'm taken.

"cute" I accidentally say out loud.

"um, hey! Girlfriend sitting right here" Ashley points out.

"sorry babe, you're much hotter" I say giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"good" she says proudly. I turn my head back around to see him still standing there. But then he glances my way with a smile, but quickly turns back to his friends.

"Aiden" Kyla says randomly.

"what?"

"his name's Aiden" she says to me. "he's in our grade"

"what ever" I say pretending like I don't care. But they both know I do. And I don't know why.

---

After school I'm waiting by my locker for Ashley when that Aiden guy walks by. He sees me and keeps walking but stops and turns right back around.

"hey" he says with a smile.

"hi"

"I'm Aiden"

"Spencer" I say. I look back and forth down the hall way for Ashley but no sign.

"waiting for your boyfriend?"

"no, actually I'm-"

"it doesn't matter. As long as you don't have a boyfriend…" he says with a smile as he takes another step closer.

"no you don't get it-"

"don't worry, I saw you checking me out at lunch" he interrupts.

"look!" I yell getting frustrated. I can see Ashley heading down this way. Thank God! I need some back up. "I'm taken"

"but I thought you said you don't have a boyfriend…?" he asks.

"she doesn't" Ashley comes in. She always had perfect timing. She puts her arm around me but Aiden still doesn't get it. "She has a girlfriend" we can see the visible shock and excitement on his face.

"and no, we're not an open couple" Ashley adds with a smile as she sees the excitement disappear from his face. We start walking away before he can say anything else.

"so what was that about?" Ashley asks.

"I don't know, he just came up to me asking if I had a boyfriend" I say.

"alright, well if he bothers you again, just let me know"

"oh what, are you the school bully too?"

"no, but I have a few people who owe me some favours… why do you think people don't mess with me?"

"I don't know… I just figured they were scared of you because you're gay or something. I mean people have been scared of me ever since they found out I was gay"

"that's because you're dating me now" she says with a smile. We get to her car and she opens the door for me. I look around and Stacey is no where in sight.

"what?" she asks.

"nothing" I say as I get in the car. "it's just you did something sweet for me and Stacey's not even around"

"hey, I can do sweet things with out Stacey!" she says as she gets in on her side of the car.

"I know you can baby" I say as if I don't believe her, but I know she can, it's just fun to tease her.

"I can!" she objects.

"mmhmm" I say brushing some hair out of her face like she's a little child.

"in fact…" she starts. "I have something for you, well for us" she takes her wallet out of her purse and pulls out a couple of tickets. "my dad and his band are coming to town for a small concert. It's underground so no one really knows about it. And guess who has tickets?"

"no way!" I say grabbing the tickets from her hands. I'm a fan of purple venom, not a huge fan, but I still like them. And the fact that it's an _underground_ concert makes it better.

"but there's one problem"

"what?"

"they're for tonight…"

"tonight? As in a school night?"

"yeah…"

"Ash! My mom's never going to go for this!"

"tell her that you have a last minute project and you need to come over to my house to work on it"

"you mean lie?"

"yeah!" she says excitedly thinking I'm actually going to do it. I know most kids don't have a problem with lying to their parents, but I'm not most kids. I once told my mom I was going to visit my grandma a few blocks away when I went to go to the movies with my friends. I felt so guilty I left in the middle of the movie and went to go see my grandma. Like I said… I can't lie.

"no" I say firmly.

"what why not?!"

"I can't lie to my parents! It doesn't come easy to me"

"oh come on! I want you to meet my dad, plus I have back stage passes" she taunts me.

"seriously? You want me to meet your dad?"

"yeah, why not?"

"because we've only been going out for a few days"

"and?"

"and…" I can't think of anything else. "I can't lie to my parents!" I repeat.

"okay, fine. Stay home tonight, with out me, and spend time with your family. In the mean time I'll be at a concert partying my ass off"

"oh that's not fair. You're making me feel bad!"

"it _is_ fair. I'm going to feel lonely tonight, so you have to feel bad"

"aww baby!" I whine.

"don't you 'baby' me." She says jokingly.

"I'm sorry, I would really love to meet your dad and have fun with you and all, but I can't – I'm really sorry" I say as a give her a light kiss.

"well here, take it in case you change your mind" she says as she hands me one of the tickets and a back stage pass. I take them and put them into my back pocket. She sees that I barely look at them and knows I probably won't show up. "alright, well I tried my best" she says as we finally pull into my drive way. "and to think, I was going to sleep with you tonight…"

"don't even start" I say as I walk away. Meeting rock star father, an underground concert and sex all in one night? It'd be too perfect.

---

Later that night I'm lying on my bed, it's 9:00pm and I get a text message from Ashley.

_Missing u, it's not too late_

_-A_

This girl really knows how to make me feel bad. I know the concerts still going on for another couple of hours and I could get there in 20 minutes, but my parents would never go for it

_Miss u 2, but I cant_

_-S_

I let out a heavy sigh and fall back on my bed. This is torture.

"what's wrong with you?" Glen asks from my door way. He seems to watch me a lot.

"Ashley's dad is in town for a private concert"

"and that's a bad thing?"

"it's going on right now and mom and dad would never let me go" I say sadly. I don't mean to be depressing but I can't help it.

"go" Glen says.

"what?"

"go, I'll cover for you"

"really?" I ask suspiciously. "what do you want?"

"nothing. It's just you're making me all depressed seeing you depressed"

"so, you're really going to let me go?"

"yeah, but you have to bring me back a t-shirt!" he says calling out to me, but I'm already halfway out the window.

"thanks Glen!" I yell back. I take the next bus down to the club purple venom is playing at and I can't wait to see the look on Ashley's face when I show up. After about a 20 minute bus ride I run up to the front door jumping the line since I have a back stage pass. The very large bouncer opens up the very special red rope and lets me in. After getting my bracelet to get into the club I look around for Ashley but I can't see her all I can hear is the sound of the band playing one of their hits. I see another bouncer standing by a door by the side of the small stage, I show him my pass and he lets me in again. Right now I'm a little nervous because I'm walking around back stage and I have no idea where to go. I continue walking around passed all of the PR people around me and walk further down the hall to see a black door cracked open. I look inside just enough to see my sulking girlfriend.

I knock on the door lightly trying to get her attention but she doesn't look up.

"this is a private room" she says still glancing at her cell phone. "no one's allowed in except for the band"

"not even the girlfriend of the daughter of the lead guitarist of the band?" I say as I walk into the room slightly. I can see her eyes light up as she tosses her phone to the table and runs over to me.

"oh my god!" she squeals as she runs into my arms. I give her a quick kiss and still hold her in my arms.

"miss me?"

"you have no idea" she says giving me another kiss. "I thought your parents wouldn't let you go"

"they wouldn't… Glen's covering for me"

"remind me to thank Glen"

"oh, well he said he wants a shirt so, remind me to pick one up later"

"no need" she says as she leaves my arm for a second and grabs a t-shirt from a box behind one of the couches. She tosses it over to me and I open it up to check it out. Glen's going to love it.

"so this is what a VIP room looks like" I state looking around the room.

"yep, and that's the mini fridge, and that's the flat screen TV…" she points out. "and _this _is the very, _very_ comfy couch" she says seductively pulling me down on top of her.

I'm laying to close our lips are almost touching. "you're right, this is very, _very _comfy" I say quietly as I lean down slowly to kiss her.

"woah! I knew there was a reason I became a rock star" one guy says as he walks into the room. Three other guys follow him into the room. I quickly get up off of Ashley and straighten out my clothes.

"dad come here" Ashley says pulling a man with silver hair over towards the couch. "this is her" she says kind of quietly, even though we can all hear.

"so this is Spencer, _the_ Spencer?" he asks as he extends his hand.

"_the_ Spencer?" I ask looking at Ashley as I shake her father's hand.

"well I might have talked about you once or twice…" Ashley says like it's nothing.

"17 times" her dad mouths to me, but she sees and hits him playfully. 17 times? I can't believe it. I've only known Ashley for like a week and a day.

"it's nice to meet you Mr. Davies" I finally say.

"oh please, call me Raiffe. Have you girls been waiting long?"

"actually I just got here a few minutes ago"

One of the other musicians cut in before anyone can say anything else. "a few minutes and your daughters already got her on the couch? Nice job kiddo" he says high fiving Ashley.

"looks like my dad and I have one thing in common, we always get the hot girl. Right dad?"

"that's right sweetie" he says giving her a kiss on the head. They are really great together. Even a blind person could see that. It's great how her father is so open to everything that Ashley does.

"so how many other girlfriends has Ashley brought back here?" I ask no one in particular.

"including you?" her father asks, I nod. "one" he says.

"really?" I ask in shock, I was expecting at least a couple of other girls. But I'm the first? Wow.

"actually, you're the first girlfriend of Ashley's that I've met"

"really?!" I ask in even more shock. I can see Ashley start blushing out of the corner of my eye.

"yeah, so you must be pretty special" he says.

"she is" Ashley adds in. Now I'm blushing.

"so who's got some embarrassing stories about Ashley?" I ask rubbing my hands together maniacally.

---

Me, Ashley and the band have been sitting back here for a few hours just talking about stories and other things. It's been such a fun night so far.

"so here's Ashley running out of the house to see me after getting back from one of my tours, she's so excited she doesn't even realize she's missing half of her clothes" Raiffe says and we all start laughing, Ashley even laughs a little, but she's so embarrassed.

"I was seven years old! What do you expect?" she objects making us laugh even harder. I glance down at my watch and I realize it's 1:00am.

"oh my god" I say. "it's 1:00am"

"only?" one of the guys from the band asks.

"my parents are going to kill me!"

"okay don't worry, I'll give you a ride home now, come on" she says grabbing out stuff.

"Bye Spencer, it was great meeting you tonight" Raiffe says.

"you too, I had so much fun tonight, and just wait till all the kids at school get a load of this gossip"

"oh, you're so funny" Ashley says sarcastically as she starts pushing me out the door. "bye dad, I'll see you tomorrow"

"actually" he starts making Ashley stop. "we're flying out to Canada tomorrow, we won't be back for a few weeks" he says, it's obvious he's a little sad.

"oh…" she says. "well then thanks for tonight, it was great" she says half heartedly. We can all tell she's sad about the news.

"I'm sorry sweetie" he says pulling her into a hug and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

"it's alright… I'll see you in a couple of weeks right?"

"that's right" he confirms with a small smile.

---

We're driving home and I can tell Ashley's still a little bummed.

"tonight was great" I say trying to cheer her up.

"yeah, I'm really glad you could come out and meet my dad, it means a lot to me"

"me too. Sorry we couldn't do _more_ tonight" I say. And I know she knows I'm talking about sex.

"don't worry about it… there's always tomorrow" she says with a wink. It's amazing how she can bounce back like that.

We pull into my house and I can see that all of the lights are off. Glen was able to get my parents to go to sleep without even noticing I was gone.

"it looks like this night was pretty successful"

"it was" Ashley says.

"I have no idea how I'm going to get back into my house with out being noticed." I say as I start to get out of the car.

"you could… always spend the night at my house" Ashley offers.

"my parents would wonder where I was in the morning" I say.

"we'll come back here early in the morning when they're still sleeping" she says. "come on get in"

"I don't know…" I say hesitantly, if I get caught my parents would ground me until I'm 30.

"Spencer Carlin, if you don't get in this car now I'm going to honk the horn" she threatens.

"you wouldn't"

"want to bet?" she asks as she puts her hand over the centre of the steering wheel.

"okay, okay!" I say quickly as I get back in the car and we head over to her house. It's basically pitch black as we enter her house, we have no reason to be quiet because no one can hear us. We're giggling as we trip up the stairs because it's so dark. We finally make it to her room she tosses me a pair of shorts and a large t-shirt to sleep in. She heads off to the bathroom while I change, I climb underneath her covers and wait for her to come out. The door opens and the very bright light lights up the entire room. I can see her in her bra and panties and it's times like this I wish people didn't require sleep. She climbs underneath the covers with me and I can see her fidget.

"what are you doing?" I ask. She takes out her bra and her underwear from underneath the covers and throws it to the floor.

"I wasn't kidding when I said I slept naked" she said with a smirk.

"are you kidding me? How am I supposed to sleep with my hot naked girlfriend sleeping next to me?"

"maybe we shouldn't sleep then" she says as two of her fingers start walking up my arm.

"or how about this" I say as I take off my large shirt, which is actually hers, and I hand it to her. "put this on"

"why?"

"so that I'm on partially naked and you're covered up in some way" I say, she puts on the shirt and a lay next to her content.

"happy?"

"very" I say. "but I better not feel any grabby hands in my sleep" I warn her. She smiles at me and gives me a light kiss.

"good night Spencer Carlin"

"good night Ashley Davies"


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Spencer… Spencer…" I can hear that sweet voice. It's Ashley's, if I could wake up to this voice every morning I would die a happy girl. "Spence! Wake up!" she yells now.

"what?" I ask as I open my eyes. Oh yeah, I forgot, I'm at Ashley's house. "what times is it?"

"6:00am" she says, I can see she's already ready and putting on a pair of earring. Darn, I got to miss when she got changed. "now move your ass, I don't know what time your parents wake up and we have to go to your house before school"

"alright, alright, I'm going" I say as I start following her out the door.

"Spencer, put a shirt on" she says. I look down and realize I'm still in just my bra from last night.

"right. Clothes" I say as I pick my shirt up off of the floor and put it on as we leave her room.

---

I'm climbing in my window, praying that no one else is awake. Ashley's waiting for me outside, she said she would wait so that I can show my parents I've been here the whole night. Just as I'm climbing through the window my jeans catch on a branch from the fence leading up to my window.

"perfect"

I pull on my pants, but it doesn't come undone, I pull on my pants again, but I'm still stuck. I poke my head back out the window to try and get them loose but I can see Ashley from her car laughing at me. I pull one more time and I finally get my pants loose but fall into my room, making a louder noise than intended. I stay still for a minute praying that no one heard me. As soon as I realize I'm in the clear I stand up and dust my self off. I'm about to leave my bedroom when the door swings open.

"Glen!" I say, scared because the door almost smacked me in the face.

"where the hell have you been?!!?" he yells quietly at me.

"I spent the night at Ashley's"

"I was only supposed to cover you for a few hours and you stay at your girlfriend's house?!" I can tell he's really angry.

"I brought you a t-shirt" I wave in front of him. He seems torn between whether to be angry or to take the t-shirt.

"you're lucky I'm such a great big brother" he says still angry as he swipes the shirt from my hands and walks away. He's too easy. I change my clothes quickly and head down stairs. I grab some food from the kitchen and I see my parents coming down the stairs still in their robes. It's obvious they just woke up.

"Spencer? What are you doing up so early?" my mom asks, stifling a yawn.

"just going to meet Ashley" I say as I stuff a slice of toast in my mouth and walk passed them. I can tell they're too tired to ask any more questions. I quickly head out the door passing Clay on the way out. I give him a quick kiss on the cheek and run out to see Ashley.

We spend most of the morning before school starts sitting at our picnic table having a little breakfast courtesy of McDonalds.

The bell rings and we start heading to class.

"hey, I'll be there in a second I'm just going to go to the bathroom quickly" I say to Ashley.

"okay" she says and heads off to class. On my way to the bathroom I see Aiden. He's probably heading to his own class, but he's looking at me and smiling. It feels kind of weird, but I smile and wave back. He gives me the old head nod like he's all that. I just shake it off and go to the bathroom. A few minutes later I walk into class just before the late bell rings. I go to my seat and I see Ashley already waiting for me.

"so what's this I hear about you cheating on me?" Ashley asks casually.

"What?!" I yell rather loudly.

Ashley laughs a little "rumour has it, you and the new kid, Aiden, were doing something you shouldn't be before class" she says.

"are you kidding me?! I was walking to the bathroom and he was smiling at me so I smile and waved back. Then he nodded his head and that was it. This school goes crazy with rumours. I swear I didn't cheat on you baby"

"I know…" she says with a smile. "if anyone knows about rumours it's me. Everyone's constantly talking about me"

"it's cause you're so popular" I say like a stereotypical cheerleader.

"like I know, right?" Ashley says back in the same way.

"how do you deal with it all?" I ask back in my normal voice.

"I just let it play out. I don't care what other people think about me"

"what if it gets bad?"

"I've had it get pretty bad, it can't get much worse"

"what's the worst you've heard?"

"that some guy knocked me up and then someone claimed to have seen me in the bathroom doing coke lines or something" Ashley says like it's nothing. If someone ever said that about me I would crawl in a hole and die. I don't think I could handle that kind of pressure.

"so now that we're dating, does that mean there's going to be crazy rumours about me too?"

"oh, no sweetie. Lesbians can't get knocked up" she says jokingly.

Sometimes this girl can make me laugh. "no, you know what I mean"

"okay, I'm not going to lie, there's probably something that may get spread around about you, but don't worry, if you ever have any problems let me know"

"what are you? The mob boss of the school?"

"something like that…"

---

Okay so it's lunch now, and I've gone through 3 classes today and I've already heard 2 more rumours. One of them being Ashley has some STD and she passed it on to me, and the other that I'm dating a teacher?! How do these things get started? This is absolutely insane.

"Ashley…" I whine as I sit down beside her.

"what's wrong babe?"

"these rumours are really… weird"

"oh so you heard about the one where you and me knocked over the 7/11 around the corner?" she asks casually. I can feel my eyes pop out of my head.

"what?!" I cry out loud. She finally understands I haven't heard that one yet.

"oh, sorry, I thought you knew"

"is there like someone appointed in this school to create rumours because that's the third one today. Well, fourth if you count the Aiden thing."

"okay, okay, I'll find out who's starting these things." She says as she gives me a kiss on the cheek and leaves to do some detective work.

(Ashley's POV)

So I've asked around about where everybody's been hearing these rumours. But it just seems like the list goes on and on. This person heard it from this person, who heard it from this person, etc… But finally I get a straight answer, and to be honest I should have figured it out a long time ago. I walk into the bathroom and before I even see her I can hear her conjuring up another rumour.

"no, I heard she set her last school on fire, that's why she had to move here" the girl said. I turn the corner to see her and another girl fixing their make up.

"I should have known it was you" I say as I lean up against the wall. I catch her eyes in the mirror. She gives the girl beside her a look and she leaves the bathroom. "so Madison, spreading rumour are we?" I ask as I step up beside her and pretend to fix my make up. But who are we kidding, I always look good.

"rumours? I have no idea what you're talking about"

"cut the bull shit Madison. I know why you're doing this, just let it go already" this girl can hold a grudge longer than anybody I know.

"…" she doesn't answer.

"look, I don't even care, just stop"

"or what?"

"I can spread some of my own rumours, but they're not rumours…" I say with a smirk.

"you've got nothing on me" she says.

"do you really want to take that chance?" She pauses and looks at me. I have some stuff on her that she doesn't even know about. And by the look on her face she's scared. "just stop spreading rumours about Spencer, got it?"

Once again she does nothing. I have a feeling I'm not going to get anything out of her.

"got it Ashley!" I say in a high pitch voice pretending to be her. I give her a fake smile and walk out of the bathroom to go find my beautiful girlfriend.

(Spencer's POV)

I'm still sitting here eating my lunch alone at the table when I see Ashley walk over from the corner of the quad. She's smiling, that's always a good sign, plus I really like her smile. She gives me a kiss on the cheek and sits down beside me.

"so?" I ask her eagerly.

"it's taken care of" she says as she takes a bite out of my sandwich and puts it back down in front of me.

"who was it? Did you kick their ass? Are they going to stop?" I eagerly asked. I really wanted to know, but it looks like Ashley isn't going to tell me anything.

"don't worry about it. Like I said, everything's taken care of"

"oh come on, you can't leave me hanging like that" I say with my pouting face.

"I can and I will, you don't need to know. It's just going to cause more problems" Oh yeah, I forgot, she doesn't respond to my pouting face.

"please baby…" I say as I rest my hand on her thigh, inching it up slowly. I can see her visibly gulp. She's turns to jello when I touch her and we both know it.

"it's… it's uhh… Madison"

I take my hand off of her leg and I think, who's Madison? "Madison who?"

"Duarte"

"I don't know a Madison Duarte" I say.

"good then you don't have to worry. And by the way, that was a dirty trick you played."

"yeah, whatever" Madison… seriously I don't know a Madison. Why would someone that I don't know start a rumour about me? This girl must be a bitch to do something like that… or she's seeking revenge. "she hates you doesn't she?"

That's right, I figured it out on my own. "…" I can tell by Ashley's silence something happened between them. Ever since Ashley and I have started dating she can't lie to me. It's pretty useful.

"what? Did you two like date or something?"

"no, she's not gay"

"then what?"

"please Spence just let it go, it's not important anymore" I can tell she's desperate to drop the subject.

"alright…" I give in. "but if you ever want to talk, I'm here" I offer, and I know as much as she appreciates it, she's not going to tell me.

"thanks Spence"

Later during lunch Ashley was sorting out a problem with her teacher and I was sitting with Stacey. Ashley said something about someone out to get her? What ever.

"okay so who is Madison and how does she know Ashley?" I ask eagerly.

"what?" she asks. "Madison Duarte?"

"yeah, her"

"why?" she asks suspiciously.

"just out of curiosity…" I randomly say.

"oh yeah right, Ashley probably didn't tell you what happened did she?" Damn! This girl knows too much.

"what are you talking about?" I play dumb, it's the only way to get the answer.

"nice try girlie, but I know Ashley wouldn't come right out and tell you"

"what the hell happened with this girl?!" the more everyone talked about it the more I became interested.

"I can't say" Stacey replies simply.

"fine…" I say, then I look up and spot Kyla at her locker. "I'll just ask Kyla!" I say as I jump out of my seat. I can hear Stacey yell 'no!' but it's too late, I've already caught up to Kyla.

"Kyla, quick! Who's Madison Duarte?" I ask almost too fast for my mouth to move.

"what?"

"Madison Duarte. How does she know Ashley?" I ask slower this time, but I can see Stacey talking to Ashley who must have got back. Right about now I can tell Stacey's telling Ashley what I was asking about, and now Ashley's running over here.

"Madison? You mean that girl that-"

"-Kyla, no!" Ashley shouts. Damn I was so close too. "come here you!" Ashley says with a smile as she _lifts _me up off of the ground by my waist and carries me away. I don't know how the hell she's doing it but she is. But I know it's all a joke to her. Despite my girly screaming, laughing and kicking Ashley's still carrying me. We're finally all the way across the quad when she puts me down.

"oh come on! I was so close to figuring it out" I say gesturing to Kyla.

"no, look if you really want to know, I'll tell you…"

"thank you!" I yell as I throw my hands up in relief.

"but not now" What? That's so mean. "now isn't the right time"

"but baby" I pout as I softly place my hands around her waist and pull her closer.

"don't you try that whole flirting with me thing, Spencer Carlin" she warns. But I continue anyways. I slowly and discretely pull her into a darker hallway that not many people use. I lightly push her against the wall and press our bodies together.

"but I really want to know…" I beg as my hands start going lower and now I'm cupping ass.

"I know you do" she says with a small smile. "but…" she starts as she removes my hands from her butt. "I need to figure out how to _tell _you" Ashley says as she holds my hands in between us.

"not even a hint?"

"sorry"

"aww, now I'm all sad" I say as we start walking out of the hall hand in hand.

"aww, how about I buy you an ice cream?"

I pause to show her I'm thinking about it. I guess an ice cream could cheer me up. "okay…" I give in. She laughs at me and it's okay, because I'm getting an ice ream out of it.

Five minutes later we're sitting back down at our table. It's Kyla, Stacey, Ashley, me and my ice cream, which I am enjoying very much by the way. Ashley sprung for sprinkles.

"so is it really that bad that you have to hide it from your girlfriend?" I ask out loud.

"yes" All three girls said at the same time.

"did she take your underwear and run it up the flag pole?" I ask sarcastically.

"no" Ashley replies.

"did she make fun of a goofy hair cut you got or something?"

"no" she says again.

"you guys are killing me with this whole secret thing!" I cry and take another lick at my ice cream.

"let's change the subject" Stacey says.

"you're right, how's your ice cream babe?" Ashley asks.

"scrum-diddly-umptious" I reply with a small smile.

"really? That good? I don't believe you" Ashley says and snatches the ice cream from my hand and takes a lick.

"not bad" Ashley comments with a smile

"hey!" I yell trying to get it back, but before I could Stacey takes it from Ashley and takes a lick.

"needs more chocolate" Stacey adds.

"you guys, that's not fair!" I yell trying to get my tasty treat back.

"you're right" Kyla interrupts. "I didn't get a taste" she says taking it from Stacey and licking it herself. Ashley and Stacey start laughing. I finally take my ice cream back and lick small amounts.

"you guys are mean" I comment, making them laugh even harder.

---

After school I'm walking down the hall way, on my way to go to my locker and meet up with Ashley when I see a teacher and a student talking. I didn't really catch what they were talking about but I did catch a name, Ms. Duarte I head the teacher say. So now I'm thinking it's Madison Duarte, it's got to be. This girl looks like a real bitch. As soon as the teacher leaves I approach her.

"are you Madison?" I ask catching her attention. She pauses and looks me up and down.

"I was wondering when you were going to talk to me" she says. It's her.

"look, I don't even care about the rumours anymore, but I do want to know why you hate Ashley so much"

She starts laughing, I don't remember saying anything funny. "she hasn't told you?" I don't give an answer, because I don't like where this is heading. "have you ever heard of Sarah Hunter?"

"no"

"mention her name to Ashley and you'll get the whole story" Madison says and walks away. Sarah Hunter, who is she and what does she have to do with Ashley? I feel like every time I want to learn more about the situation, the more information I get, and the more lost I get. I look down at my watch and realize I'm 15 minutes later for meeting with Ashley. So I haul my ass down the hall and around the corner to see Ashley waiting there, by herself.

"hey, sorry I'm late" I say kissing her quickly on the cheek.

"it's okay, where were you?"

"I ran into someone…"

"who?" should I tell her? I guess so, it's the only way I'm going to get any knowledge about the subject.

"Madison Duarte" I say as I stop what I'm doing and stare at her.

"Spencer, I told you not to-"

"-who's Sarah Hunter?" I cut her off. I don't care if I shouldn't be digging. If it's a secret that my girlfriend is hiding from me, I think I should know.

"did she tell you about Sarah?" Ashley asks quietly.

"if she did would I be asking you who she was?"

"… alright, I guess now's as good as time as any" Ashley says, shutting my locker for me and venturing us towards our table in the empty quad. Everyone has long gone home by now and only the teachers, geeks and detention lifers stay after school.

Ashley waits till we both get comfortable until she starts. I can see her pretty nervous and I know she's not about to make a joke anytime soon. "so it happened like this…"


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Sarah Hunter. She was my best friend a couple of years ago. She was also Madison's best friend. All three of us spent our time together. People even called us the S.A.M. crew. You know Sarah, Ashley Madison. We were that close. Because Madison and Sarah were best friends we were automatically best friends. But it all changed when I came out in grade 8. But I not only came out to my friends, but I told Sarah I was in love with her. I know it was only a middle school crush, but you know when you're in love, you _really _feel in love? Well that's what it was to me."

"and what happened?"

"Of course she didn't feel the same way, but that wasn't the point. Even though she didn't love me back, she accepted me, which is all I really wanted. After a couple of weeks her parents found out about me and my love for their daughter. Needless to say they weren't happy. They were one of those families by the bible. So… they moved away, and took Sarah with them. She was forbidden to talk to me or see me. She was just gone one day. Madison took it a little harder than I did. She blamed me for her best friend moving away. She realized after Sarah was gone, that we didn't really have anything else in common. So we weren't friends anymore. By the time we got to high school we were running in 2 completely different circles. And for her to become popular she had to tease some lonely freshman."

"and that freshman was you…"

"yeah, and you know me being me, I don't take any bull shit from people. So we kind of had this war going on. Things got a little nasty and I just stopped for a while. I was tired of the fighting, so I just let her humiliate me. After a while, she got her popularity and I was left by myself. I met Stacey and we became pretty good friends and she didn't really care about my past. After staying the shadows for a few months, you learn a few secrets about everyone. And I used those secrets to rule the school. Madison and I still don't talk, but occasionally she starts some things."

"so that's it. That's everything?"

"yes"

"and Sarah?"

"we haven't heard from her in 3 years"

"do you miss her?"

"all the time. She was my best friend"

"and you haven't tried to see her or contact her?"

"no, her parents wouldn't let her see me anyways"

"oh come on, you guys are 17 years old, I'm sure things have changed"

"I guarantee they haven't" 

"well, there's only on thing to do then…" I suggest.

"what?"

"we 'road trip' it down to where ever she is and see her"

"we can't we've got school"

"how far is she?"

"she's only in Phoenix, but-"

"perfect! Phoenix is just a few hours away!"

"we can't!"

"yes, we can! It's perfect, we'll leave tomorrow after school, take Friday off and we'll stay the weekend in a hotel or something" Now I'm getting really excited about everything. How amazing would it be if I could spend 3 consecutive days with my girlfriend, and not to mention she gets to see an old friend.

"I don't know if I can…" she says quietly.

"what are you talking about? You know you're dying to see her"

"yeah, but it's been three years, what if she doesn't remember me? Or what if she realizes she hates me?"

"no one could ever hate you. You're too amazing" I say as I brush a strand of hair out of her face.

"actually, I still hate her" someone says from behind us. We turn around and see Madison still standing there.

"leave Madison, this is none of your business" Ashley says.

"actually, it is. I want to see her too" it's obvious she was listening in on our private conversation.

"what? No!" Ashley yells.

"yes! She was my best friend before you confessed your love for her, and I just want to see her"

"no!" Ashley repeats.

"Ash, maybe we should" I suggest. She looks at me like I've betrayed her or something. "she's just as much her friend as you are"

"Spencer, come on"

"seriously, I know she's not your favourite person, but still" Ashley looks between me and Madison.

"do I have to?" she asks.

"yes" I say. It's the best thing right now.

"fine, come to my house tomorrow at 4:00pm and we'll leave. But for the next three days you can't say anything bad about me or my girlfriend, and you can't be a bitch"

"fine" Madison replies. She gives a small nod to me and starts to walk away.

"so we're really going to do this?" Ashley asks, turning back to me.

"yes we are, and we're going to have a damn good time doing it too" I say with a smile. We start getting up to finally leave when she grips my hand.

"thank you" she whispers. I don't respond, instead I lean in for a kiss.

---

It's Thursday, and school just ended. We told Stacey about the plan, she said she wanted to come along with us… that was until she found out Madison was going and quickly backed out. The three of us are leaving for Phoenix in less than two hours, we just have to go over to Ashley's and pack for her. With much convincing I was able to make my parents believe Ashley's aunt died and she needed someone to stay with her for the next few days. Ashley put on a good sad face and we were out the door. It's easier to lie to my parents when Ashley helps. I still don't feel all that comfortable doing it, but I'm adjusting.

While Ashley was up stairs I was down in her kitchen making some food for the trip. I packed it all up in a cooler bag and headed up stairs. Ashley's door is open and I peak in seeing her hold up some lingerie. With a smile on my face I enter the room.

"planning on getting laid this weekend?" I ask her with a smirk. I can see her shuffle around to try and hide the small clothing, but it's no use I've already seen it.

"well I was thinking, we _are_ going to be spending our time in a hotel, so maybe… Why? Do you think I should bring it?"

"well…" I start. I've been looking for ward to 'being' with Ashley for a while, not to mention I've had a few dreams. But I'm not exactly sure this is the weekend. "… what do you think?"

"don't try that with me. I don't want to push you into anything"

"well that's very sweet of you" I say as I get up and stand behind her. "but I think you should pack it… just in case" I whisper as I grab the lingerie and put it in her over night bag for her. She turns around in my arms and presses her lips down to mine.

"well maybe we shouldn't wait then…" she says in a seductive voice and kisses me lightly on the lips. I push her down on to the bed and straddle her at the waist. We start kissing and getting more and more into it when the doorbell rings.

"that's probably Madison" I say, but Ashley is still sucking at my neck.

"she can wait a few minutes" Ashley says.

"or you can wait until we actually have some alone time" I say as I get up off of her and head downstairs. I can tell she's already unhappy, but she'll get over it.

I open the door to see Madison texting on her phone, she dumps her bag on to me and walks passed me.

"pack that in the car for me would you?" she asked.

"um, how about you pack it yourself?" I say as I shove it back into her arms and walk up stairs. "hey you almost ready?" I ask Ashley as she zips up her bag.

"yeah, let's go"

---

Outside, we're packing the stuff into the car and I put the cooler bag in the back seat.

"shot gun!" Madison yells as she sees Ashley get in the driver's seat.

"uh, I don't think so" I say as I get in the front seat.

"what? Oh come on, I'm not sitting in the nasty back seat, who knows what the hell she's done back there"

"trust me, the front seat isn't much cleaner" Ashley says seeing Madison get into the back seat of her car.

"so we're really doing this?" I ask to make sure.

"yep" Ashley and Madison reply at the same time as we sped out of the drive way and down the street.

We've been driving for a few hours now, we're almost there. Phoenix really isn't that far from LA. I can tell by the look on Ashley's face she's getting more and more nervous as we get closer to our destination. I can see her hand gripping on the gear shift as if it's a stress ball. I place my hand on hers trying to convince her everything's alright. She looks up at me and smiles. She clasps my hand in hers and gives me a light squeeze.

"okay, you two are going to make me barf" Madison says from the back seat.

"shut up Madison" Ashley snaps back, then she looks back at me and smiles. I love how she can just change her complete mood for me.

"how much longer?" she asks. It's dark out but I can tell we're in Phoenix. Mostly because we just passed a sign that says 'Welcome to Phoenix'.

"look, I've been thinking guys, what if we grab a hotel room for the night and go visit her in the morning? You know once you guys are all refreshed and what not"

"sounds good to me. Madison?" Ashley asks.

"yeah, that's fine. I need my beauty sleep anyways" Madison says making both me and Ashley laugh. We pull into the nearest hotel and park the car. "did you guys make reservations?"

"no" we reply together. "why?" I ask.

"great" she says sarcastically.

---

We walk out of our third hotel now. That's right three. Apparently you need reservations to get a hotel anywhere in Phoenix.

"this is ridiculous" Madison says throwing her arms in the air. "I can't believe you didn't plan ahead!"

"we planned this yesterday! How could we have planned ahead?" Ashley yells back at Madison. I'm already tired of their fighting. As they continue to bicker I look around and across the street I see a small place. It's a motel, it's obvious it's very run down and looks like it's full of cockroaches, but it's the only place open.

"come on you guys" I say crossing the street, they start to follow.

"oh hell no!" Madison yells.

"it's either here or the car" Ashley threatens.

"I'm not staying in a motel!" Madison yells again, she can be a real drama queen sometimes.

"don't you mean otel?" Ashley asks pointing to the motel sign where the 'M' is not lit up. Me and Ashley start laughing, but Madison doesn't seem too happy about it.

We're in luck, they have vacancy! The creepy man behind the desk hands us over 2 keys and we walk down the hall to our room. We swing open the door and turn on the light to reveal a run down honey moon sweet. That's right, a honey moon sweet.

"you've got to be kidding me" Madison says dropping her huge bag on the floor. In front of us is a very large heart shaped bed. Equivalent to the size of a king sized bed. Madison heads into the bathroom to check her makeup or something.

"no way!" Ashley says jumping on the bed with a laugh. "this is crazy!"

"I can't believe this was the only room they had left" I say as I join Ashley on the bed. All of a sudden we hear a loud scream from the bathroom. Madison runs out rubbing her hands off on her clothes as if she's cleaning them.

"what?!"

"there is a huge cockroach in there! I am not staying in her tonight! Keys!" she says holding out her hand.

"are you serious?" Ashley asks her tossing the keys to her. Madison catches them with ease and grabs her bag.

"I would rather sleep in the car than in this dump" she says and leaves the motel.

"well Ms. Davies, it looks like we have a honey moon suite all to ourselves" I say getting closer to her on the bed.

"it appears so" she says with a smile as she comes closer also.

"what ever shall we do?" I ask as I trace a finger up and down her bare arm lightly.

"Spence?"

"yeah?"

"do you think… that maybe we could wait just a little longer. I'm kind of nervous about tomorrow and I don't think now's really a good time"

"of course, Ash" I say, she lets out a relieved sigh. "there are two people in this relationship and we both have a say in what happens. I don't want you thinking that everything I say goes"

"good, because I like to be in control" she says as she kisses me slyly and turns off the light. I can feel her wrap an arm around my stomach and crawl in behind me.

"good night" she whispers into my ear kissing the top of my shoulder.

"good night" I whisper back. Its times like this that I realize I am truly happy.

---

I can feel Ashley moving around, I can tell she's trying not to wake me, but it's too late.

"hey you" I whisper out, catching her attention.

"sorry, did I wake you?"

"yeah, but it's alright. I get to see your beautiful face" I say caressing her cheek. She kind of looks tired, like she didn't get any sleep last night. "are you okay?"

"yeah, just a little nervous"

"don't worry, everything will be fine. If not, I'm always here for you"

"what would I do with out you Spencer Carlin?" she asks sweetly.

"you'd be in school right about now" I say glancing over at the clock and seeing it's already 10:00am.

"okay, so I was thinking last night, we didn't plan this out too well. The trip I mean…"

"I don't know, I like the way everything kind of fell into place" I say looking around at our honey moon sweet and the gorgeous girl with her arms around me.

"actually, that's not it. In fact that turned out better than imagined. But, I just realized it's Friday morning"

"and?"

"Sarah's going to be in school right now"

"oh! I totally forgot that!"

"so what do you think we should do?"

"um first of all, we should probably get Madison, second, why don't we grab some brunch and then we'll head over to Sarah's school and see if we can find her"

"you have no idea how much this all means to me"

"oh don't worry about it, it's no big deal"

"no, it is. And you've been nothing but supportive the whole way. I don't know how to thank you"

"um how about you kiss me and we call it even?" I say with a smirk. She moves closer to me and gives me a sweet kiss. I pull back but she pulls me in again and starts kissing me a little harder. I moan into the kiss because I can feel her hands wrap around my waist and lightly draw circles. The touch of her fingers on me just drives me wild sometimes. Our little make out session soon gets interrupted by Ashley's cell phone.

She looks at me apologetically and answers her phone. "hello?"

"hey Ash" Stacey says. Ashley mouths Stacey's name to me but I can hear her voice through the phone anyways.

"shouldn't you be in class?"

"substitute teacher" she simply replies. "so how is it?"

"we haven't gone to see her yet. We figured she's probably in school right now"

"oh true. So then what are you going to do now?"

"grab some food and then head over to her school"

"you nervous?"

"crazy nervous, it's been a long time"

"don't worry, you'll always have a friend back at King High" Stacey reassures her.

"thanks Stace, you and Spencer are going to get me through this"

"okay, so just call me when you have some time. I want to know all of the details about everything!"

Ashley laughs. "alright, you got it."

"bye. Oh and have fun with Spencer!"

"alright, bye!"

---

After bickering with Madison for an hour, going out for Brunch, more bickering, it was finally time for Sarah's school to get out. Ashley, Madison and I were all waiting the parking lot, leaning against Ashley's car waiting for all of the students to be released. I can tell Ashley was freaking out on the inside because she had that look on her face. The kind where you're thinking so hard you don't even notice anything around you. All that seems to matter is what your mind is focused on. I grab her hand and give her a little squeeze. She needs to know if she ever needs someone I will be there for her. We hear the bell ring and some students exit the doors quickly. We all stand up, and it's now that I realize I have no idea what this girl looks like, so even if I did see her I wouldn't know who she is.

"there" Madison says. "there she is" pointing to a girl with dirty blonde hair coming out of the building. She looks relatively happy where she is. Ashley and I see Madison start walking towards her and we instantly follow.

"Sarah!" she calls out now running towards her. We see Sarah drop her books in shock and run towards Madison like she just won a million dollars.

"Madison!??!!?" she yells as she runs towards her. She runs into her arms and they hug for what seems like forever. "oh my god! What are you doing here?!" she asks excitedly as she hugs even tighter.

"we just thought it's been too long"

"we!?" Sarah lets go of Madison and looks behind her. "Ashley?!" you can see even from where we are standing tears in her eyes. I let go of Ashley's hand so she can go greet her friend. They both start running towards each other and I can see Sarah leap off the ground and nearly tackle Ashley to the floor.

"oh god! I've missed you so much!" she screams as she holds Ashley's body as close to her as possible.

"Sarah… you have no idea" Ashley says back trying to hide the tears in her eyes.

"hey, how come she gets tears and I don't?" Madison interrupts.

"come here" she says pulling Madison into a three way hug. "I can't believe my eyes! What are you guys doing here?"

"the memory of you came up a couple days ago, and we decided we wanted to come and see you. Three years is just too long" Ashley says. I start walking up behind them trying to make myself noticed. But Sarah's the only one to see.

"so this must be my replacement" she says motioning towards me. I smile politely and walk over to them.

"Oh, I'm not a replacement" I comment. She gives me a weird look.

"what's your name?" she asks.

"Spencer"

"It's another 'S'! I knew you were trying to replace me!" she yells in fake anger.

"Actually, this is my girlfriend" Ashley says taking my hand in hers to show Sarah.

"you always had a thing for blondes" Sarah comments earning herself a slap on the shoulder from Ashley. "so tell me everything! Do you guys still rule the school? Is Mrs. Arnold still a bitch?"

"um, yes and yes… but it's not what you think"

"what? Did you hook up with her daughter or something?" this girl is good at guessing secrets.

"well yeah…" Ashley says laughing at how well this girl knows everything. "and we do technically rule the school, just… not together"

"what? The S.A.M. crew is no more? That's not possible. Look, you even got yourself a new 'S'." she says pointing to me.

"yeah well, things kind of fell apart after you left" Ashley adds.

"what happened?" Both Ashley and I look over to Madison.

"how about we go and sit down somewhere or something?" Madison suggests.

"does Ashley still have those nice cars?" Sarah asks.

"oh yeah" I say with a smile.

"then count me in"

We're at a random coffee shop somewhere in the middle of Phoenix and we just grabbed a table.

"so come on, spill" Sarah suggests. Ashley and Madison explain the whole story. In the middle there seems to be some conflict of truth and the two girls go at it. I see the amusement on Sarah's face. I wonder if this is what it was like when they were all friends.

"okay, okay, I think I get the gist of it" she interrupts them.

"see now I've sweat off all of my make up yelling at you" Madison says making me roll my eyes.

"fine, go get your stuff from the car then" she says tossing the keys to Madison. "I'll be back in a minute, bathroom" Ashley states and walks in the opposite direction. Leaving me and Sarah by ourselves.

"so, Spencer. You and Ashley seem happy" she says as she takes a sip from her drink.

"we are" I say.

"you guys must be pretty serious, how long have you been going out for?"

"couple weeks"

"that's it?"

"yep"

"you must be different then."

"what makes you say that?" I am, I just want to know why she thinks that.

"there's very few of those made in existence" she says looking down at my wrist to see the bracelet Ashley gave me. "and I saw she's only wearing on of them"

"yeah, I feel pretty lucky to have a girlfriend like her. She really is amazing"

"look, I don't know if it's the excitement of seeing me, or if it's because she's with you, or if it's just because she missed a day of school, but… I don't think I've ever seen Ashley happier. Now I know I haven't been there for her for 3 years, but she honestly, truly seems happy, and I know you have something to do with that"

"… can I ask you a question?"

"sure"

"why did you leave?"

"I thought Ashley told you the story…"

"she did, but it doesn't add up. You were her best friend, as far as I'm concerned she really _really_ loved you. I can tell by how you reacted today that you wouldn't have been able to leave her 3 years ago. I mean, I could be wrong, but something is just screaming that I'm not…"

"you're right…" she confirms. I knew it. "3 years ago I was dealing with some of my own stuff. Things that I couldn't tell anyone because of my family, and Ashley and Madison. They all played a part in it somehow. When Ashley told me she was in love with me, it scared the shit out of me, I'm not going to lie. At the time I didn't love her back like that, but my parents found out and we up and left to Phoenix. After that moment I got to thinking, I was still mad at my parents so I was always alone. I realized I could have had more feelings for her than I lead on."

"wait, what do you mean 'at the time'?" I ask suspiciously.

"don't worry, I'm not _in_ love with Ashley anymore, but I do still love her."

"so then what are you trying to get at?"

"what I'm trying to say is that I've changed ever since I've moved here. Everything is different. Completely different"

"how so?"

"well don't tell anyone this just yet but… I'm gay"


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Rated R for… well you know. lol**

"well don't tell anyone this just yet but… I'm gay" Sarah says as discretely as possible.

"what?!" I yell. Then I realize how loud my voice is so I lower it to just above a whisper. "what?!"

"okay look, you can't tell anyone, especially Ashley"

"tell me what?" Ashley asks as she comes up from the bathroom area and sits down beside me.

"that… that Sarah here has some new friends" I cover for her. I think that's the first time I've intentionally lied to Ashley. God I feel awful.

"you've replaced the A and the M?" Ashley asked in a fake hurt tone. She put her arm around my shoulder and casually sat there.

"well what was I supposed to do for 3 years? Become a loner?"

"works for me" Ashley replies with a smile. In comes Madison with her face covered in newly applied make up.

"so how's everything been with you for the passed few years?" Madison asks Sarah. "any new man candy?" Sarah instantly looks at me then back at Madison.

"um no, no guys."

"what? Why not? You always had the guys chasing you in school" Ashley says.

"I even remember a certain girl chasing you too" Madison adds with a smile. Ashley kicks her underneath the table making Madison cry out in pain.

"I've just tried to avoid drama for a while" Sarah says.

"what about your parents? Are they still…" Ashley drags off.

"homophobic? Sadly, yes" Sarah says putting a damper on the mood, unintentionally of course. Our awkward mood was soon interrupted by Sarah's cell phone.

"hello?... no I just ran into some old friends… can I meet up with you later tonight?... Chinese food sounds good… alright, bye babe" Sarah didn't realize until the last second that she ended her conversation with 'babe' catching everyone's attention. She put down her phone and acted like nothing had happened.

"babe?" Ashley and Madison ask at the same time.

"just a friend…" Sarah says trying to pull it off. But she can't fool Ashley and Madison.

"liar!" Madison jokingly accuses.

"okay give it up Sarah, we know you've got someone on the side" Ashley says as she starts poking Sarah, as does Madison making her laugh.

"I swear I don't!" she says.

"oh yeah? Then you wouldn't mind if I did… this!" Ashley says grabbing the phone off the table. Sarah tried to get it back from her but Madison held her down. Ashley hit 69 and dialled the number listening to the phone.

"Ash, maybe you shouldn't-" I say but it's too late. She holds up a hand as she hears a voice through the phone.

"hey baby, forget something?" I female voice asks through the phone. Ashley's jaw drops to the floor.

"who is it?" Madison said with a smile, she was having fun playing with her friends again. The smile on Sarah's face quickly disappeared though.

"Sarah? Babe, you there?" the female voice asked through the phone. Ashley quickly hung up and put the phone down.

"what's that about?" Ashley asks, I can tell she's not happy.

"Ash, maybe you should talk about this later" I suggest.

"no, we'll talk about it now" she says aggressively. "who was that? Are you dating them?"

Before Sarah could even open her mouth, Madison interrupted. "oooh! Was that your boyfriend? I knew it!"

"you lied to me" Ashley shook her head.

"no Ashley, you've got it all wr-"

"-no don't bother" Ashley said as she got up and walked away.

"okay someone better fill me in!" Madison said angrily. I got up and left to follow Ashley.

"Ashley stop!" I yell, she's heading towards her car in the parking lot. "Ashley!"

"not now, Spencer."

"yes, now! Ashley look, you have to go back and talk to her!"

"no, she lied to me."

"it's not what you think, things change, people change"

"yeah, people also_ lie_" she says as she gets into her car. I quickly climb in the passenger seat and stop her from turning the car on. I take the keys out of the ignition.

"give them back" Ashley says forcefully.

"no"

"Spencer, give. Them. Back" she says slowly. Like that's going to help.

"no, now go deal with your friend!"

"Spencer, she's gay! She's dating some girl! When she left her parents said they didn't want her to be around me! And she's gay?! It doesn't make any sense! D-do you think she left because of… me?"

"what? No! of course not, look you have to go back in there and hear her side of the story!"

"why bother?"

"because… she's your friend. And I being your girlfriend will permanently cut out sex from your life if you don't" I threaten.

"we're not even having sex anyways"

"and I could keep it that way for a very long time. And you know how I love to tease you" I say slyly lick my lips.

"you're a cruel, cruel person Spencer Carlin"

"you'll thank me later" I say.

"or we can thank each other in our motel room" she suggests.

"don't you mean otel room?" I say with a smile.

---

We find ourselves walking back into the small café and sit back down. But before we could fully sit down Sarah starts apologizing.

"look Ashley I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but no one really knows… just my close friends" Sarah says.

"why didn't you tell us?"

"are you guys going to fill me in or what?" Madison asks, but I'm the only one who seems to notice.

"I was going to tell you but I just got a little worried. I was scared you wouldn't understand"

"who would better understand than me?" Ashley asks, and she has a point.

"I'm just a little worried that's all, my parents don't know and I wouldn't want them to find out… at least not yet"

"are you sure though?"

"sure about what?"

"about all of it. Because once you say it, it's out there."

"I know. Trust me, I know."

"so, how are you dealing?"

"I don't need to deal, I'm happy, and I don't want to change that"

"so do you think we could meet _her_?" Ashley asks. This is the part when I see the light bulb in Madison's head go off.

"oh my god! You're gay!" Madison yells. Sarah, Ashley and I all start laughing at how slow this girl is.

"so can we?" Ashley asks again.

"you know what? I think it would be a great idea for you to meet her. We were supposed to have a date tonight, but this is more important. How about we all go out for dinner tonight?"

"alright sounds good."

"where are you guys staying?" Sarah asks.

"it's the run down shack at 5th and Terryway" Madison interrupts.

"haha, we call that place the _Love Shack_"

"so you've stayed there before?" I ask finally getting a word in.

"maybe once or twice…" she says with a smirk. "it's the only way to spend time with my girlfriend" she says with a wink.

---

Later that night, Madison, Ashley and I all got a little dressed up with what ever clothes we brought and were waiting for Sarah and her _girlfriend _to arrive. We're sitting in a 6 person booth. Ashley, Madison and I are all on one side so that we could 'interrogate' Sarah's girlfriend. I look over at Ashley and I notice she keeps glancing around every 2 seconds. She's even more nervous that before we even saw Sarah.

"baby, calm down. It's going to be fine"

"how would you feel if your first love/best friend turned out to be gay after you confessed their love for them and are now meeting her new girlfriend after 3 years?"

"I don't know, it's never happened to me before"

"okay well then- oh! There she is!" Ashley waves them over and now we can all see them. Sarah's girlfriend has light brown hair and is the same height is her. Both girls are very pretty and come in holding hands.

"guys, this is Beth, Beth this is Madison, and Ashley. And this is Spencer, Ashley's girlfriend" we all say hi and wave and the girls sit down.

"So Beth…" Ashley starts. "how long have you been going out?" Ashley asks like she's Sarah's mother.

"4 months" Beth replies simply. It's obvious she's a little nervous. Everyone always seeks the approval of their girlfriend's/boyfriend's friend's approval. And Ashley's questions aren't making things any better.

"and how old are you?" Ashley asks.

"Ashley!" I warn. I give her a look trying to help Sarah.

"what? It's a fair question" Ashley argues.

"no, she's right" Beth says to me. "I'm 18"

"18? As in a year older than Sarah?"

"yes" she replies.

"so are you two still in that lovey dovey phase like the Spashley couple over here?" Madison asks as a quick change of subject.

"I don't think we'll ever leave that lovey dovey phase" Beth says giving Sarah a kiss on the cheek.

"so, how are you doing in school?" Ashley asks randomly, and this time it's going a little too far.

"okay, that's it. Get out of the booth" I say pushing Ashley out.

"but-"

"-no. Out!" I say as we both get out and walk over to the bathroom. We enter the small bathroom and thank full no one is in here at the time. I lock the door and turn back to Ashley. "what the hell Ash?! You are not her mother!"

"look, I just want to help Sarah!"

"okay, look, Stacey didn't interrogate me like this and you can't do this to her either!"

"I'm not doing it on purpose, but I'm just looking out for her. I don't want some older chick to use my best friend"

"I bet you were too busy worrying about her to notice that they came in holding hands, and haven't stopped since. In fact, I guarantee you they're holding hands under the table right now and will through out dinner. I bet you were too busy to notice how Beth let Sarah sit down first and ordered a drink for her. I bet you were too busy to notice the look in Sarah's eyes every time she looks at Beth. Ashley, Sarah cares about Beth and Beth cares about Sarah, it's obvious, you just need to take the time to notice these things"

"did she really do all of that stuff?"

"yes, now can we go back out there and have a nice dinner. I came down here to spend time with my girlfriend and get to know her friend. I don't want to have to watch you like a baby sitter watches a child."

"sorry about that" she says giving me a light kiss on the lips. "you know… since the bathroom door is locked and we're all alone…"

"I refuse to have our first time together in a nasty bathroom."

"fine, but I can't help it if my hand occasionally slips during dinner" she warns me. On the way out of the bathroom she grabs my hand and holds it through out the rest of dinner. Which actually turned out pretty nice by the way. Ashley stopped with the crazy questions and she actually saw how happy Sarah and Beth are. They're sort of like me and Ashley. I don't really know how to explain it, it's just like that.

"so how did you crazy kids meet?" I ask curiously.

"actually, it's kind of funny. We met in detention" Beth says.

"well that's promising" Madison says jokingly.

"yeah, well I had gotten detention for a week" Sarah starts. "But Beth only got in trouble for that one day. It turns our everyday for the next four days she did something to intentionally get in trouble and spend time with me"

"awww" Madison and I say together.

"yeah, yeah" Ashley says jokingly shaking it off.

"fine, then how did you and Spencer meet?" Sarah asks. "I bet it wasn't as cute as our story"

"actually…" she starts. "the first day I met this girl she was trying to get her locker open"

"oh god…" I whisper in embarrassment, this isn't exactly a story I'm proud of.

Ashley starts laughing in the middle of the story about my comment. "yeah, well, I was just watching her make a fool out of herself for a good five minutes, until I finally walked up to her"

"… it turns out it wasn't actually my locker I was trying to get into." I say.

"it was mine" Ashley says. Making everyone laugh. "I asked her out every day for about 3 weeks, until she finally gave in one day."

"And we've been inseparable ever since" I say giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. Then Beth gave Sarah a kiss on the cheek just for the sake of the happy moment.

"god I hate being the fifth wheel" Madison comments making us all break out in laughter.

---

After dinner the five of us were outside saying are goodbyes for the night.

"so, where are you guys from?" Beth asks.

"L.A." Madison answers.

"really? I'm going down for college there next year… I've got an apartment lined up for me in a couple of months"

"no way!" Ashley says. "we should totally hang out"

"you got it" Beth says. _It's great how we've all become friends so quickly._

"so how long are you guys staying?" Sarah asks, Beth's arm is wrapped around her securely.

"um we're still here tomorrow, but we're leaving Sunday"

"okay we're totally hanging out tomorrow" she says.

"you got it" Ashley replies. Sarah pulls Ashley and Madison into another three way hug, and I make my way over to Beth.

"it was great meeting you tonight, Beth" I say. "sorry about Ashley, she gets a little protective with her friends sometimes"

"it's alright, she has every reason to be protective"

"so are you going to hang with us tomorrow?"

"As much as I would love to, I can't I'm working all day. But I'll see you guys Sunday right?"

"yeah okay, sounds good" We see Sarah pull away from her friends and we walk over to them.

"ready to go baby?" Sarah asks.

"yeah, but actually there's just one last thing. I heard you guys are staying at the Love Shack, and I know you probably hate it, being from L.A. and all, so my uncle owns another motel not too far from here. It's not the Hilton or anything, but it's definitely a step up from the Love Shack."

Ashley and I can see Madison's eyes well in amazement. "oh my god! You can do that!?"

"sure… I mean you guys are only in town for a couple nights, it's no big deal."

"but you'd all have to share a room" Sarah adds.

"that's fine with me!" Madison shouts in excitement.

"so what do you say?" Sarah asks looking over at us. Ashley and I look at each other and we know what the other person is thinking. We don't really want to leave the Love Shack. As bad as it looks and sounds, we actually like it. It's dirty, broken down and full of bugs but we love it because it's so corny.

"Madison can have the room, we'll keep the Love Shack" Ashley says, knowing I would have said the same thing.

"even better!" Madison shouts again. You can tell by the giant smile on her face she's really excited.

"okay, well we're going to pass by it on our way home, so Madison why don't you come with us?" Beth asks.

"alright, see ya, suckers!" Madison salutes us and heads off giddily jumping behind Sarah and Beth.

"come on you, let's go back to our 'love shack'" I say to my beautiful girlfriend.

"all right. Let's go" She says sweetly, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

---

We finally get back to the motel and we lazily lie down on the bed and turn on the TV. We get bored after a couple of minutes when we realize there are only 7 channels. We're both lying on our stomachs, lurched up by our elbows. I can feel her feet kicking over at mine, and mine back. Every so often we look over at each other and giggle uncontrollably. All of a sudden she stops and stares at me.

"what?"

"nothing… it's just, you're really beautiful" she says quietly. She doesn't mean for it to come out as a whisper, but it does anyways. Because it's one of those sentences that just has to be said with such caution. Without a second thought I lean over and kiss her. It just seemed right. She instantly starts kissing me back, she lightly pushes me on my back and crawls on top of me, not once breaking the kiss. I can feel her start kissing my chin, then my jaw, then she's moving towards my neck. God, it's so hard to breath right now.

The tips of her fingers tickle me at the small space between the hem of my shirt and the top of my jeans. Ashley lifts my shirt off and tosses is somewhere on the floor. She starts kissing down my body until she gets to my belly button, where she takes her time. Her fingers drag down a little and reach the button of my jeans. I lift my hips up to help her get them off and now I'm laying in my bra and panties. But I realize it's some what unfair.

I quickly turn the table and now I'm lying on top of her, well, actually I'm sitting on her hips. I smile at her and start sucking on her neck, she smells so good it's almost uncontrollable. I lift her shirt off and drag the base of my palms all down her body, making sure to add a little pressure when going over her breasts. My hands finally make their way down to her pants and flick the button undone. She wiggles a little and the pants soon join the rest of our clothes on the floor. I notice the lingerie she's wearing, the set that she packed when I walked in on her back in L.A.

"looks like someone planned ahead" I whisper as I move back up to kiss her.

"Spencer…?" Ashley asks quietly.

"yeah?" I say as I place gently kisses all along her jaw line.

"there's something I want to say before we go any further"

"what?" I ask as I stop kissing her. If she wants to say something in the middle of this it must be important.

"I… I love you" she whispers as soft as possible, but yet it was still filled with so much passion. She looks scared though, of my answer. In all of the relationships I've had I don't think any one of them has said 'I love you', I know I haven't. And even though we've only been dating a few of weeks I still can't get over how crazy I am about this girl. I stare back in her eyes to make sure I get my point clear across.

"I love you too" I say without any hesitation. And it feels so good to say it too. Like I'm finally happy in my life. Like everything is complete and it just won't get any better than this.

She leans up from her spot and does the only thing she can do, she kisses me, but not one of those hard, lip bruising kisses, but one of those really sweet, soft kisses. The kind you only see in movies. One of those kisses where you feel like hours have gone by but it's actually only seconds. One of those kisses where even though it has only been _seconds_ you really wanted it to be _hours_.

As the mind blowing kiss goes on, I can feel Ashley subtly take my bra off. I pull it off of my shoulders and go for hers. She sits up so that my arms can go around her back, but she doesn't break the kiss. Instead she moves slowly. Not for torture, just for caution, just so that the moment will last longer. Which is all I really want.

She slowly pushes me down on my side and crawls down to the lower half of my body, she grabs the ends of underwear and starts pulling it down my legs. She starts kissing down my body starting at my neck, passed my chest, passed my stomach, and to my thighs. I can feel the warmth growing as she places lingering kisses on the insides of my thighs.

"Ashley…" I breathe out. She knows what I want and chooses to take her time giving it to me. Once she hears my pleas for pleasure I can feel her fingers at my entrance. She looks into my eyes one last time for reassurance and she must see it because I can feel one finger slowly enter me, then two and finally three. I find myself bucking my hips against her fingers for more pleasure and she soon gives in. After what seems like forever a wave of pleasure finally takes over my body. I can feel her slow down her motions and finally stop. She slowly takes her fingers out and makes her way back up to my face to kiss me.

Once again, taking control I push her onto her back and give her a hearty kiss. I trace my finger down in a zig zag motion down till it meets her thighs. I hook my thumbs around the waistband of her panties and slowly pull them down to her ankles and toss them else where. I start kissing the ends of her legs and make my way up slowly, until I reach the place she's been dying for. I push her legs apart a little for better access and press my mouth to her spot. I can hear her cry out in pleasure, which makes me wonder if I did the same. If I did, I didn't really realize it, I was too busy having an earth shattering orgasm. In addition to my mouth I add a couple of fingers. She raises her hips for a deeper feeling, but I hold them down with a little force. I keep going, harder and faster until she finally reaches the top. Her fingers tangle in my hair as her body becomes limp and weak. I crawl back up to her as I press my lips to hers once again. I set my body down beside hers, making sure to be as close to her as possible. We pull the covers over our bodies and she turns to me.

She doesn't say anything, I know she doesn't want to ruin the moment, because I feel the same way. Everything just seems to be perfect right now. I'm with my amazing girlfriend, whom I love by the way, and we're just spending time together. What more do I need?

**Oooh, finally, the sex chapter! Lol So to all the spashley fans (which I know is everyone) I don't plan on letting Sarah get in the way. Not really. It's not like there's going to be a love triangle between them… well not with Sarah at least ;)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Extra long chapter. But it's not really all that spashley, but it's not really about any other couple.**

I'm waking up and all I can feel are a bunch of kisses all over my face really fast. I slowly open my eyes to see Ashley as close as possible still kissing me furiously. I let out a girly muffled scream but she doesn't stop, I can tell she's smiling just by the way she's kissing me. I finally manage to grab her head and pull it down to mine for one solid kiss. We finally pull back and she's stopped kissing me now.

"good morning" she says happily.

"good morning to you too" I say back, I know I have a stupid smile on my face. I can feel it just by how happy I am.

"last night was…"

"amazing?"

"absolutely" she says. It's now I realize that we're still naked underneath the sheets of the low quality bed linens. She must see me notice this because she pulls the covers up a little and pulls my naked body into hers.

"what time is it?" I ask.

"I don't know, but I don't really care"

"mmm, well aren't we meeting Sarah today?" I ask as I snuggle in closer to her neck. She still smells just as amazing as last night.

"…right." She sighs. "I guess we have to get out of bed then" she states, but neither of us move. We're too happy being where we are, well at least I am.

"well are you going to move?" I ask.

"are you?"

"didn't really plan on it"

"yeah… me neither" she says with a cute smile. I lean up to kiss her and I move my hand a little underneath the covers so she gets the idea.

"again?" she mumbles between the kisses.

"why not?" I say slyly. She doesn't even say anything back, she just kisses me more and starts moving her hands around as well. I can see her slowly make her way under the covers to my lower half when we hear a knock at the door. Her eyes quickly dart to the door then back at mine in fear.

"Ashley, Spencer. Open up the door" Madison's voice comes through the thing door. "why is this door even locked in the first place?"

"just a sec!" Ashley yells.

Ashley and I quickly jump out of the bed and run to find out clothes. I've got my under wear and pants on and my shirt is in my hand but I can't find my bra. God, why did we just throw everything around? Oh yeah, we were too busy having sex.

"don't you have a key?" we hear Sarah's voice ask Madison.

"oh yeah!" Madison responds. _Shit!_ Where the hell is my bra. I can see Ashley's already dressed and searching for my bra as well. Forget it. I'll just put my shirt on with out a bra. As soon as I flatten out my shirt Madison and Sarah walk in through the door and Ashley and I look like nothing's been happening.

"why was the door locked?" Madison asks curiously. But we get a suspicious look from Sarah. She's just staring at us, and Ashley and I look at each other hoping she doesn't find it out.

"oh my god! You two so did it last night!" Sarah yells. _Crap_.

"psh. What are you talking about?" Ashley tries pulling it off, but I can tell that Sarah can see right through her.

"oh really?" Madison asks. "then what's this?" she asks holding up my bra by a pencil from the bed side table, which just happens to be beside the door. Sarah starts laughing and Madison looks disgusted. As for me and Ashley we're bright red from embarrassment. Ashley quickly grabs the bra from Madison's pencil and puts it behind her back.

"get out" Ashley says.

"hey I have a key!" Madison says showing us the key. Ashley takes that too.

"go!" Ashley says again.

"I'm renting this place too!" she protests.

"yeah, but I'm paying for it" Ashley says finally pushing them out the door. We know they're waiting outside so try to be quiet.

"thanks" I say taking my bra from her hands. I turn around and take my top off and slowly put my bra on. But before I get a chance to put my top on I hear a small gasp from Ashley. I turn around to see her face a little shocked.

"what?" I ask. She walks over to me and turns me around to see my back again.

"what the hell is this and how did I not see it last night?" she asks referring to my tattoo. That's right, I have a tattoo. It's only my left shoulder blade. It's a picture of a heart with a scroll over it saying the name 'Patrick'.

"you were too busy looking at my chest to be looking at my back" I say turning around to face her. She looks down at my half exposed chest, which is now covered with my bra, then back up at my eyes. 

"you're right" she agrees. I shake my head in laughter and put my shirt back on. "so who's Patrick and should I be jealous?"

"um how about we save that story for another time?"

"oh come on…" she says slyly kissing my neck. I've taught her well. "we can have another amazing night like last night. By the sounds you were making, I'd say you enjoyed it very much"

"oh, I did." I confirm, but I lower my voice to just above a whisper. "but there are two people on the other side of that door who are listening in on our conversation right now"

I open the door and Madison and Sarah almost fall down, they had their ears pressed to the door, and were obviously eaves dropping.

"I told you so" Sarah says to Madison.

"I'm just glad I didn't stay here last night" Madison says and walks out the door. Sarah, Ashley and I all follow.

"So where are we going?" Madison asks as we all get into Ashley's car. Madison and Sarah in the back, Ashley and I in the front.

"um how about the mall? I've got my camera" Sarah says showing us her professional camera hanging from her neck.

"you're still hung up on that, huh?" Ashley asks starting up the car.

"you like photography?" I ask turning around in my seat.

"this girl does nothing _but_ take pictures" Madison says. "you could probably fill an entire room with the pictures of the three of us in there"

"oooh! Old pictures of Ashley! I have to see!" I yell. How cute would it be to see your girlfriend when she was little.

"uh, no you don't" Ashley says. Sarah mouths the words 'don't worry' back at me, I nod my head in agreement and sit back in my seat.

"so what _was_ Ashley like when she was younger?" I ask.

"well, I can tell you she didn't look like this" Sarah says poking her head in between the seats and looking Ashley up and down.

"shut up!" Ashley says pushing Sarah's face.

"she had braces… and frizzy hair… and this obnoxious laugh"

"sorry, you must be thinking of Madison, but you forgot about the huge ears" Ashley said jokingly.

"hey! I so did not look like that when I was younger!" Madison objects. We all start laughing; I can see why these guys were friends. They really have a lot of fun together.

"hey, oh my god, we haven't called Stacey yet" I point out. Ashley realizes that we forgot to fill her in on everything and pulls out her phone. She tells everyone to be quiet so she can put the phone on speaker phone for her and me.

"hello?" Stacey answers.

"hey, Stacey" Ashley and I say at the same time.

"oh my god! You two so did it last night!" she yells through the phone making Madison and Sarah burst out in laughter. "who's that?"

"Madison and Sarah" Ashley says.

"oh, so I take it everything went alright then?"

"yep, we're just heading out to the mall, we'll be back tomorrow"

"alright, Ashley make sure Spencer stays out of trouble"

"hey!" I yell, I never get in trouble. Well almost never.

"will do" Ashley says with a small laugh.

"and Spencer, make sure Ashley controls her _urges_"

"hey!" Ashley objects. Well she does have urges.

"I'll do my best" I say.

"alright, talk to you guys later. Bye!"

"bye" we reply and hang up the phone.

"who's that, another girlfriend?" Sarah asks jokingly. Ashley hits Sarah in the leg with a fist.

"ow!" Sarah yells in honest pain.

"well that's what you get for thinking I would cheat on Spencer!" Ashley says giving me a slightly embarrassed smile, but it's cute that she would go as far as hitting her best friend for me.

"so Ash, what's your life been like in the passed three years? Relationship wise" she adds. Madison snorts in laughter but holds it in.

"um, let's just say I was _popular_" Ashley tries to be mysterious. Now I snort in laughter making Madison laugh louder.

"what do you mean by _popular?_" Madison and I look at her like we're trying to tell her the answer with our eyes. "ohhh!" she finally gets it. "Ashley was the school slut!" she yells absentmindedly.

Ashley hits Sarah in the same place she hit her before, with a fist… again.

"ow! Okay I get it" Sarah says rubbing her leg where she was just hit. "jeez, did you like… hit the weight room after I left too?" she asks hypothetically.

"maybe it's just the sex that's making her stronger" Madison says slyly, this time I hit Madison in the leg with a fist.

"ow! Jeez!" Madison yells, making Ashley and I laugh. "such a violent couple!"

Ashley grabs a hold of my hand and holds it in hers, just for no reason. She just wants to hold my hand. And I let her.

When we get to the mall Madison and I let Ashley have some alone time so they can catch up. So that means I have to spend the next little while with a girl who was recently spreading rumours about me. We got a couple of smoothies and started walking around doing nothing really.

"so…" she says trying to make conversation.

"so" I say back.

"you and Ashley huh?"

"yep"

"everyone's been talking about you at school"

"and who's fault is that?" I ask throwing in some attitude.

"not what I meant." She states. "everyone's been talking about how you tamed the wild Ashley Davies"

"really?"

"yeah… in the passed three years she hasn't been in a serious relationship, well at least not like yours."

"how do you know? We've only been dating for a few weeks."

"that may be… but you can see it in her eyes. Don't tell her this or anything, but I'm actually happy for her." I stop, I didn't think I would ever hear such kind words coming from Madison's mouth unless she was being held at gun point. "I know we weren't friends over the passed few years, but when we were it was fun. It's just that when Sarah left we realized we weren't really compatible as friends"

---

"so I still can't believe you two have only been going out for a few weeks" Sarah said as she and Ashley took a seat at an open table in the food court.

"well you better believe it."

"she's crazy about you."

"It's a mutual feeling. Trust me" Ashley says with a genuine smile.

"how deep are you?"

"_deep_" Ashley says with full confidence.

"how so?"

"love - _deep_"

"really?" Sarah asks in disbelief.

"even told her yesterday. I just care about her so much, I love her."

"wow."

"what?"

"I haven't heard that since-"

"-yeah I know. You."

"has there been anyone else in between worth mentioning?"

"none of them even come close"

"so why her? Why Spencer? What makes her so different from everyone else?"

"well as you know, I've become the 'school slut' as you so kindly put it. I could get any gay girl I wanted. That was until Spencer came along. She blew me off over and over again"

"so how'd you win her over?"

"well I made it in good with the family first. You know how families can be… and I just showed her who I really was. She even met my dad"

"Raiffe-y! How is the old man anyways?" Sarah asked excitedly.

"good, just on tour again"

"bummer, it's been so long since I've seen him."

"I know he'd love to see you"

"and what about your sister? Still hating on her?"

"… Spencer's friends with her, so I kind of have to be nice"

"aww, poor Ashley" Sarah said in a baby voice.

"what ever… she's worth it"

---

"so what do you think is going to happen when we go back to L.A.?" I ask

"what do you mean?"

"well, do you think you'll keep in contact with Sarah?"

"yeah, I suppose" Madison answers.

"and what about Ashley, you still going to hate her?"

"… I don't know"

"so then what is going to change?"

"… not sure. Ask Ashley"

Sarah and Ashley were laughing at something stupid when Ashley said something. "I've missed you" Ashley says.

"I've missed you too" Sarah says honestly.

"have you really?" Ashley asked doubtfully.

"of course…"

"then why didn't you visit? Call? Email? Anything."

"…I…" Sarah didn't know how to respond.

"three years and nothing, Sarah. I waited… I thought we were supposed to be friends"

"we are… it's just if my parents caught me they would have killed me"

"so what do they say to this then?"

"they…they think I'm at the library…" Sarah admits. It's obvious she's feeling a lot of guilt.

"do they even know about Beth?"

"they think she's my friend…"

"Sarah, you can't keep living your life like this!"

"what am I supposed to do Ashley?! Tell my parents and get kicked out of my own home? I can't do that!"

"you can't just keep lying to everyone, Beth doesn't deserve it and neither do you"

"what do you want me to do!?"

"tell your parents, they might be more accepting than you think…"

"… Ash, they made me move away because they found out my best friend was gay… does that really sound 'accepting' to you?"

"okay, I see your point. But you can't hide forever. It's not who you are"

"no, but it's who I should be…"

"who you _should be_ and who you _are_, are completely different people. They live in different worlds and they have different lives. You can't live them both forever"

"what if I'm not ready to be who I am?"

"_you are_"

"…I-"

(Spencer's POV)

"-hey guys" Madison says as she and I walk up to the two girls. It looks like Ashley and Sarah were kind of having an important conversation but Madison sat down not even noticing anything.

"buy anything good?" Sarah asks as if nothing happened. I take a seat beside Ashley and I can see she didn't really want her conversation with Sarah to be over.

"just some clothes and what not… nothing big" Madison says.

"cool. Now we can go down to the falls" Sarah says with a smile.

"falls?" Ashley, Madison and I all ask.

"the water falls" Sarah reassures us. But for some reason, I have a bad feeling about this place.

**Chapter 13**

About half an hour later the four of us drive up to the place Sarah was talking about in our bikinis. Sarah told us to bring them just in case. We walk out of the car, and follow a path for about 5 minutes until we reach this small open area. But it wasn't just any open area. There was a small water fall going into a large area of water. And a large cliff on which we were standing. The cliff wasn't really a cliff, more of a ledge. But it was still 20 feet away from the water. We all stand near the edge in a line, looking over the side of the ledge.

"how are we supposed to get down there?" Madison asks as she looks around for some sort of path to go to the water.

"how do you think?" Sarah asks with a smile. We all look at her with fear in our eyes.

Unfortunately, Madison was the one standing beside her. "oh hell n-" Madison says, but it's too late. Sarah's already pushed her off the side of the ledge. Madison lets out the predictable girly scream before she hits the water, hard. It even sounds like it hurt. We see Madison's head pop out of the water and we can tell she's angry.

"Sarah, you are so dead!" Madison screeches. We all laugh at her. But then Sarah takes a subtle step towards Ashley who is holding my hand.

"push me, and I'll kill you" Ashley threatens before Sarah can even touch her. She knows not to mess with Ashley, so she takes a step towards me.

"push me, and I'll get Ashley to kill you" I threaten. I'm not one for violence. We all share a small laugh before looking down to see Madison still in the water, waiting for us to come down.

"so seriously, how do we get down?" Ashley asks.

"there's a path by the side, over there" Sarah says with a giggle, pointing to a path that's hidden behind a couple of trees.

We make our way down the side of the cliff, still holding hands because it's a bit slippery - well at least that's my excuse… I just want to hold her hand - and we meet Madison down by the side of the lake-type area.

"what the hell!" Madison asked angrily as she drained her hair of the water.

"oh come on, it was just a little fun" Sarah says. We all laugh and start setting up our towels and such. After everything's finally set up we're about to lay down and get ourselves a nice tan when Ashley realizes she forgot the sun screen in the car. She starts heading towards the path, but not before giving me a subtle wink. I know what it means, and I know what to do. I make up some excuse to go 'help' Ashley. I climb all the way up and I see standing on the path waiting for me.

Without a word I walk into the trees with her. She presses me up against one of them and starts kissing me. Her hands are resting lightly on my waist as I wrap my arms around her neck to pull her closer. I feel her tongue brush upon my lips and I open them a little allowing her access. While I'm distracted at the mouth Ashley's hands seem to find their way down to my ass. She gives it a squeeze and I let out a squeal.

"someone's anxious" I whisper.

"well ever since last night, I just can't stop thinking about you"

"mmm, well maybe we can do something right now…" I say in a husky voice.

"really? In the woods?" She asks.

"why not. I'm always up for a little adventure…"

She looks around and pulls me further down the path to make sure we have total privacy. This time I press her up against a tree and my leg is in between her legs, and her leg is in between mine. I start kissing her on neck, sucking slowly and painfully as I move my leg between her legs a little. I'm barely moving my leg, but I know it's driving her crazy.

"found them!" we hear Sarah yell. We quickly jump apart and look at her. "yeah, okay, we're never leaving you two alone again" she says dragging us back towards the waterfalls. We look down over the edge to see Madison still lying there.

"Where's my sun screen?" she yells in an orderly tone.

"sorry, these two were making out and got distracted… actually it was more than making out, but I didn't want to gross you out"

"too late" Madison says in a disgusted tone.

"we'll go get it, hold on" Ashley says as she grabs my hand and takes me towards the car. Instead of fooling around a bit more we actually get the sunscreen and take it back to Sarah.

"here" Ashley says tossing it to Sarah who catches it with ease.

"thank you. Now we can actually do what we came here to do. Not have sex like you two little horn dogs" she says jokingly.

"hey, I resent that. I refuse to be called 'horn dog'" I say.

"well that's too bad, because you and your girlfriend are horn dogs" she says with a smile. We all know she's joking, but we get an idea. Ashley looks at me and I look back at her.

"sorry what are we?" Ashley asks putting a hand up to her ear to pretend it helps her hear better.

"I said. You two. Are Horn. Do-" Before she even finishes the sentence Ashley and I push her over the ledge and into the water. We hear a loud splash and look over the side.

"oh you guys are good!" Sarah says like she's just been defeated. "but you're still horn dogs!"

"well that was fun" I say as I head for the path, but before I know it Ashley pulls me back and tries to push me over the edge. But just before I fall, I grab her hand and pull her down with me. I hear her shout a quick 'no!' but it's too late, we're already in mid air. We fall into the water making a huge splash beside Sarah.

By the time we both re-emerge from the water we see Madison standing a few feet away from us on dry land.

"well, at least I wasn't the only one to get pushed in" Madison says. With out any hesitation or planning, Sarah, Ashley and I all grab Madison by the arms and pull her in with us. We start splashing each other around until Ashley dives down and starts tickling my legs. I manage to grab her and pull her back up to the surface. Instead of splashing her again or tickling her, I simply pull her into a kiss. We start making out a little, knowing we're not going to get a lot of alone time.

And we were right, because seconds later Sarah and Madison swim over to us and start splashing and the water war continues.

---

After fooling around for a few more hours, everyone decided it was getting late. Sarah went home, Madison went to her motel room and Ashley and I headed back to the Love Shack.

"so what were you and Sarah talking about earlier… at the mall" I ask Ashley as we enter the motel room and unload our stuff.

"nothing" Ashley replies. But I know it wasn't just 'nothing', but I let it go anyways, it's technically none of my business. She lies down on the bed and I decided to lie down next to her. She wraps an arm around me and we just lie there, not doing anything. It's actually nice.

"so are you going to tell me who Patrick is?" she asks randomly.

"who?"

"the name from your tattoo?"

"oh. Right." I was hoping she would forget. "that's a story for another time"

"that's what you said yesterday"

"I know… it's just it's kind of an important subject with me and I want to make sure when I tell you I'm ready"

"okay" she says. I know she wants to know, but I know she doesn't want to push me into it. She cares about me like that. I know. "but if this guy is serious competition you've got to let me know" she says with a smile.

---

The next morning Ashley and I were able to wake up without the help of Sarah or Madison. We got up, got our stuff together and checked out of the motel. Today was the day we were going home. I could tell just by the way Ashley was moving she was sad. She didn't want to leave her best friend, because she didn't know when she would see her again.

"come on babe, you'll see her soon" I try to comfort her on the way over to Madison's motel where we promised we would meet Sarah and Beth.

"I know… I just don't want to leave her"

When we finally get to Madison's motel room she's already packed and Sarah's already there.

"all set?" Ashley asks.

"yeah, I think so" Madison says looking at us, then at Sarah who is holding hands with Beth. "I'm going to miss you so much!" she says pulling her into a hug. Sarah and Beth let go of each other so she could say good bye.

"me too. Thank you guys so much for coming down here and visiting me" she says pulling back from the hug. She already has tears in her eyes.

"come here you" Sarah says to Ashley.

"bye Sweetie" Ashley whispers. "just remember what I told you yesterday. Be who you want to be"

"I'll try" she says back. She pulls away from Ashley and looks at me with a smile. "it was great meeting my replacement" she says pulling me into a hug also.

"hey, I could never replace you" I say enveloping her into a hug as well.

"yeah, what ever. Just keep these two in line" she says referring to Ashley and Madison.

"I'll try my best, but no guarantees"

"yeah, well it was nice meeting you, Beth" Ashley says pulling Beth into a nice hug. We all take turns hugging Beth, until Sarah stands beside her and I stand beside Ashley.

"okay, let's go before I get that 5th wheel feeling again" Madison says walking out the door.

"you know once we get to the car you're just going to be a third wheel again" Ashley calls out.

"better than being a fifth wheel!" she says from down the hall way.

---

We're all inside the car saying our final good bye to Sarah and Beth through the window.

"come down to visit any time" Ashley says. "I'll always have space for you at my place" she says to Sarah. "and I can't wait to see you in a few months Beth"

"alright, cool" Beth says back.

"alright, bye guys! Love ya!" Ashley shouted and we drove away. I turn around to see them still just watching the car drive away.

---

After driving for about an hour Madison fell asleep in the back seat and it was just me and Ashley sitting in silence. I hate silence, especially when you realize everything is silent. When you realize it, it makes it awkward. I look back to see Madison still sleeping then at Ashley was just focused on the road.

"he was my best friend" I say randomly, and I know she's going to be confused.

"what?" told you so.

"Patrick. He was my best friend" I clarify.

"what do you mean was? Did you to like have a falling out or something?"

"not exactly…" I say. I can tell by the look on her face she can suspect what happened to him. "… 2 years ago he committed suicide" I say softly.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"… 2 years ago he committed suicide" I say softly. In the back of my mind I know I'm going to cry, just not yet.

"…I'm sorry" she says as she grabs my hand and holds on to it.

"it's alright. You should know about my passed friends… especially since I've met yours. It's just I don't like to talk about it that much"

"I know it's sad to talk about what happened and all, and I know it must be hard for you, but you shouldn't forget about your friend. All you have to do is remember the fun times you had with him"

"but when I remember the fun times, it reminds me of how much I miss him"

"I know, but wouldn't you rather remember the great memories you had and endure the pain instead of just feeling numb altogether?"

She's right. I hate it when she's right in these kinds of situations.

"I remember when we were younger and it was my birthday he always had to be the first one to wish me a happy birthday." I say, I don't know it but I'm already smiling. "every year he would come up with a new way to come over to my house and I remember one my 13th birthday he snuck into my house, through my window. He brought his air horn and decided it would be fun to blow it in my ear… needless to say I was deaf in my left hear for the next 3 days. But still, he would always do these crazy stunts just to be the first one to say 'happy birthday'. It's times like that… that I cherish the most. They were my best memories of him"

Ashley could see the smile on my face and knew just talking about him made me happy. "tell me more"

And I did. For the rest of the car ride home I told her all about the fun times we had together. Like the time we decided that our first kiss should be with someone we trusted. So one day we went around back behind the school and kissed. We later decided we weren't right for each other. We were better off as friends. I told Ashley how Patrick was the first person I came out to, how he was always there to make me laugh when I was sad, and how we was the first person I told I loved them. Not in the sense that I was _in love_ with him. But I loved him like a brother. Hell he was better than my brothers. He always had my back and I always had his.

"was he cute?" Ashley asked jokingly.

"adorable" I say with a cute smile. He was actually a good looking guy. If I was straight I'd totally go for him.

"you guys sounded really happy" she comments.

"we were… or at least_ I_ was."

"i-if you don't mind me asking, w-why… why did he do it?"

I knew this was coming, and I'm not angry at her for asking it. But it's because of this I don't like talking about it. "his home life wasn't that great. He spent a lot of time over at my place so I didn't really ask if he was having problems. I didn't know" I can start to feel the tears working up in my eyes. "little did I know, his mom was having an alcohol problem and his dad was beating him…" and there goes the first tear. I wipe it away before Ashley can notice, but I think she's already seen.

"and he didn't tell you?"

"no… and I feel terrible for not catching on sooner." Now the tears won't stop coming down.

"it's not your fault." Ashley points out.

"it was. And it still is" I say. "if I had only taken time to think about him and not myself he would still be here"

"you don't know that"

"yes, I do!" I start yelling now. "if I had been the friend I should have been he would still be alive! It's my fault he's dead!"

"It's not your fault Spencer! Don't blame yourself."

"how can I not?"

"because you weren't the one who killed him. Those memories you told me, they sound amazing. Just by listening to them I could tell he was happy too. Sometimes a family just has more effect than you friends…"

"I-I just wish I could have saved him…" I whisper. By now the tears have become less and less but I'm still just as sad.

"I know… I know you do" she says gripping my hand tighter.

"god, I wish we weren't in a car. There's no where to run" I say. Before I know it Ashley's got her indicator on and she's pulling over on the shoulder of the road. "what are you doing?"

She doesn't say anything. Instead she gets out of the car and walks over to my side. "come here" she says as she opens my door and pulls me into a hug. I wasn't really expecting one, but it actually feels really good. Just to be able to hold on to someone. I have my arms wrapped around just beneath her arms and her arms are holding my head against her shoulder. We couldn't get any closer if we tried.

"he left a note" I whisper.

"what?"

"he left a note just for me" I say.

I pull out my walled and a crinkled, worn out envelope. It was one of those small envelopes and it was folded just so I could carry it around everywhere. It's unopened.

I show it to Ashley. In black marker my name is written on the front of the envelope. No one has read it, not even me.

"why haven't you opened it?"

"I… can't. What ever is in this envelope will tell me what I was to him. If he hated me or loved me. If it says he hated me and I was to blame I would never be able to forgive myself"

"it won't say that" she says.

"you don't know that"

"no one could ever hate you Spencer"

"I've tried, but I can't" my hands are shaking. They always shake when I hold this note.

"you can't just keep it in your wallet. If you do, it's just going to haunt you for the rest of your life"

"maybe it should… I don't want to forget about him."

"Spencer, I know this must be hard for you, but you've got to move on. You can't hold onto this note forever. I'm not saying you have to open it now, but you should open it soon… when you're ready."

"when… and if… I'm ever ready, will you be there for me?"

"of course I will. _I will always be there for you_. Just call my name and I'll come running" she pulls me into another hug and I let her. Because I know she is someone I can trust with everything.

"as much as I hate to ruin the moment, where are we?" Madison asks from the back seat.

After our little 'moment' Ashley and I got back in the car and drove home in acceptable silence. We pull up to Madison's house and let her out.

"this weekend wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be"

"Likewise" Ashley says.

"so… we're not going to be friends or anything on Monday are we? Because I have too much fun making fun of you"

"ditto" Ashley says.

"can't you say anything more than one worded answers?" she snaps.

"maybe" Ashley says with a smile.

Madison rolls her eyes before taking off. "later Davies"

"what ever, Duarte" Ashley says and we drive down to my house.

"Madison was right, this weekend was better than I thought." I say.

"you're just saying that because we had sex" Ashley says with a smirk.

"that… and it was fun"

"remember, if you ever need me just let me know"

"yeah, yeah, just give me my kiss and go home" I say with a smile as I lean over in my seat to kiss my girlfriend good bye. I get out of the car and wave to her one last time from my door before she drives off.

I see Ashley's car finally go out of sight and I walk into my house.

"I'm home!" I call out as I shut the door. My parents are the first ones to greet me.

"hey Spencer" my mom said. "how's Ashley holding up?"

I pause for a second, forgetting I told my parent's Ashley's aunt died. "oh, uh she's doing a lot better now"

"oh really? Is that why you missed school on Friday?"

oh shit. "… uh yeah… Ashley was just really sad"

"we called her mother." Oh shit, oh shit. "she said Ashley was spending the weekend at our house, and that no aunt of Ashley's had passed away"

oh fuck. "Spencer, where did you go?" my father asks in his best fatherly tone.

"Ashley and I… went down to Phoenix for the weekend" I say hesitantly. I hope they're not mad.

"Spencer!" they both yell together. Yeah… they're mad.

"okay, look I'm sorry but we went down to visit Ashley's friend"

"oh and that makes everything okay?"

"and…" _think Spencer think!_ "and she helped me with Patrick" _oh that's right, use your dead friend as an excuse. Way to go Spencer. But I can see the looks on my parents' faces soften. They know my position with Patrick, and are surprised to even hear his name, seeing as I haven't said it too many times since he died._

"look, just… just go to your room" my dad says and my mother doesn't object. I nod and go up to my room. I don't know if I'm grounded or anything, but at least I got out of the yelling.

So I've been lying in my bed since I've gotten home now, I haven't even got up to go to the bathroom, which I'm suffering for. But I can hold it. I can't help but feel guilty for using Patrick as an excuse and it's not like it was a complete lie, but it still doesn't feel right.

All of a sudden I can hear a muffled ringing coming from somewhere in my room. I lift the blankets off my bed and check under my body. That's when I realized my phone was under my pillow. I pick it up and I see a name that seems to just light my face up.

"hey ash" I say in my sweetest voice possible. The last thing I need is more questions.

"what's wrong?" _Damn, how does she do that?_

"what makes you think anything's wrong?"

"I can just tell. So spill"

"I got busted coming in and I kind of used Patrick as an excuse"

"uh… okay"

"I feel terrible about it." I complain.

"Spence, Patrick would want you to have fun, you did have fun this weekend didn't you?"

"yeah of course, but-"

"-Spencer, it's okay. I'm sure he's looking down at you from heaven right now saying you shouldn't feel bad. He wouldn't want you feeling bad at his expense" _she always says the right things._

"how is it that when I'm at my worst and just hearing you can make me feel all better?" I ask a little bit more cheerfully.

"I'm just awesome like that" Ashley brags.

"So, I'm guessing since I got busted, you did too?"

"yeah, but my mom didn't care" _It kind of makes me feel bad when I hear things like that._ "So, you want to go to Grays tonight?"

"It's a school night, and we just got back from a road trip"

"and?"

"…okay. Who else is coming?"

"well let's see, there's you… and there's me… and that's it"

"what about Stacey?"

"she wouldn't want to be a third wheel" Ashley says.

"well, we just won't make her feel like a third wheel then" I say knowing that wouldn't be possible.

"with what I plan to do to you tonight, she'd feel like a third wheel" Ashley says slyly.

"okay, how about we bring Kyla too then?" I propose.

"Stacey hates Kyla" Ashley states.

"no she doesn't"

"I know, I just don't want Kyla to come along" Ashley says making me laugh a little.

"call Stacey and Kyla and tell them to be ready, I'll meet you down at the club in an hour, okay?"

"fine…"

"thank you baby" I say sweetly.

"you owe me" she says.

"oh don't worry, I'll be sure to repay you later" I say slyly. I can practically _hear_ the smile form on Ashley's face. "…bye baby"

"bye" she sputters out.

Later that night I find myself back at Ashley's house, somehow pinned against the door on the inside of her bedroom. Man, is she a good kisser or what? The four of us went out to Grays for a couple of hours, had a few drinks and dropped Stacey off at home. Kyla came home but apparently she lives in the west wing of the house. My house only has one wing. I still can't believe how big this place is.

So here we are making out against the door, a little buzzed – okay, who are we kidding? We're super buzzed. I can feel Ashley anxiously take my shirt off which, I gladly let her and as soon as it's off I start pushing her towards the bed. The back of her knees hits the side and she falls down, pulling me with her. We're giggling a little, mostly because we're drunk, when the doorbell rings. I know Ashley's mom went out of town again and Kyla's too far from the door to answer it. So I offer to get it. I just want to tease Ashley.

Right as I'm about to walk out the door I put my shirt on and give her a quick wink and start running down the stairs knowing she's already chasing me. I make it to the door, only to have Ashley wrap her arms around me and she's about to pull me away, but I swing the door open with a free hand. Our giggling and smiling are quickly put to a halt when we see who is standing in Ashley's door way.

"Sarah?"

**Okay, so I know the whole 'Patrick' thing seems a little ambiguous now, but the note comes into play in the later chapters. BTW don't you just hate cliff hangers? I know I do. But then again, I know what happens next. lol.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Congrats to those who guess why Sarah was here ******

"Sarah?"

"does your offer still stand?" she asks hopefully. We look down and see she has a couple of suitcases by her feet.

"of course, come in" Ashley says pulling her friend in and grabbing her bag at the same time.

"Sarah, what are you doing here?" Ashley asks.

"um, I took your advice… I told my parents" she says, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes. This is slowly breaking my heart.

"and they seriously kicked you out?"

"yeah, well… there's not much you can do when your parents are homophobes, right?" she asks playfully, but it's obvious she's really broken up on the inside.

"oh, I'm so sorry sweetie" Ashley says pulling Sarah into a hug. Now I know what it feels like to be the third wheel - at least in a friendship way. I catch Ashley's attention and mouth to her that I'm going to take off. I know she would want to alone time with her friend. Ashley nods to me sympathetically as she tries to calm down the crying girl in her arms. I sneak out the door and walk down to my house. Thank fully it's not that far, but I don't mind walking if it's something as important as this.

The next day at school I'm waiting by our lockers for my girlfriend to show up. Half of me expects her to stay home with her friend, the other half expects her to come to school and tell me everything. Guess which half won.

So I'm sitting here _alone_ in our first period class. Well that's not true, I'm here with Stacey, but still. It's kind of lonely without my girlfriend to keep me company.

I'm not jealous or mad or anything it's just I wish she would call me. I haven't heard from her since I left her house last night and I'm starting to worry.

At lunch I see my brother talking with his friends. He'll take me over to Ash's place for lunch. I start trudging over there at a rather fast pace when I see Madison sitting at her own cheerleading table with a couple of other cheer leaders. I figure she'd want to know her best friend is back in town. So instead of walking over to Glen I make an L-turn and walk straight over to Madison.

"Madison…" I start.

"can I help you?" she snaps. _I forgot she was a bitch_.

"I wouldn't even do that much" one of her friends cuts in with a smirk. _I forgot… they're all bitches._ I hear Madison and the other girl laugh at her comment. _Airheads_.

"fine, I guess you don't want to know why Sarah's in L.A. then" I say as I turn around and start heading for my brother. But before I take 2 steps I'm called back.

"wait" Madison yells. I turn around to see her looking at her friends. "get lost" she says to them.

"excuse me?" the second cheerleader says.

"you heard me, now leave" Madison snaps. They take off and I give them a fake smile on their way out. "now what's this about Sarah?" she asks me.

"I don't know, she came over to Ashley's last night. I was just going over to her place now, come on. My brother will give us a ride"

"forget it. I'll drive, come on" she says as she gets up and grabs her purse. I'm surprised at how quickly this girl takes action. But I'd do what she did in a heartbeat if it was for Patrick. My feet quickly kick in and I start walking behind her.

We arrive at Ashley's house in record time, it's amazing how fast Madison drives when she's nervous. We walk up to the door and I knock a few times. Ashley opens the door and sees me and gives me a small smile. But her smile turns into a neutral face when she sees Madison behind her.

"hey" I say quietly.

"hey" Ashley says back in the same tone.

"yeah, hey" Madison mocks us as she pushes her way into Ashley's house and looks for Sarah.

"where is she?" Madison asks Ashley.

"Kitchen" Madison instantly takes off. Ashley then turns back to me as I close the front door.

"sorry, I just thought she should know Sarah's back" I apologize.

"it's okay, she deserves to know as much as I do" Ashley says. "sorry I didn't call you last night or today"

"it's alright, I understand" we slowly make our way to the kitchen where we see Madison hugging the life out of Sarah. We can literally see her struggle for air.

"Madison, let her go, she's turning blue" Ashley says.

"oh, sorry" Madison says as she slowly pulls back from the hug.

"hey Spencer" Sarah says. I can see the redness in her eyes, obviously from crying.

"hey" I say back. If it's possible, I feel like a fourth wheel. "how ya doing?"

"… better"

"yeah, so what happened?" Madison asks.

"parents gave me the boot once I told them about Beth" she says good heartedly. She's trying to keep a happy face on, but it's not fooling anyone. "it's no big deal" she adds.

"that's right. Because she's going to live here with me, and starting tomorrow, she's coming back to King High." Ashley says.

"really!?" Madison and I ask at the same time.

"yeah, well, my parents aren't going to take me back anytime soon. And well, Beth's coming down her for school in a couple of months. So it all kind of works out…"

"don't you need your parents permission to transfer schools?" Madison asks.

"already taken care of. Before I left I got my parents to sign the emancipation forms"

"are you sure about this?" I ask for caution.

"yeah" she replies with a soft smile. "I got my best friends and soon my girlfriend will be with me. Things are actually starting to look up for me for once" I can see Ashley put her hand on Sarah's in a comforting way, and Madison rubs her back lightly.

"so wait… does this mean the S.A.M. crew is getting back together?!" I yell in fake enthusiasm.

"I don't know…. I don't think Madison would last a day without her little cronies" Ashley plays.

"hey, I resent that." Madison says pointing a finger up in the air. "I prefer to call them minions"

We've been sitting in the kitchen for a few hours now, just casually talking. It's kind of like how we were in Phoenix, just in L.A. And once again we manage to miss half a day of school. We're laughing at some random joke when I see Kyla hesitantly walk into the kitchen.

"hey Ky" I say, it's been a while since I've talked to her.

"hey Spence" she says back making everyone turn and look at her. "sorry, to interrupt, I just wanted to grab a bottle of water" she says heading for the fridge but slows down when she sees who's in the room.

"am I dreaming or something… or is Sarah and Madison sitting at our kitchen table?" she asks suspiciously.

"how you doing mini-Ash?" Sarah asks with a smile as she gets up to hug Kyla.

"mini-Ash?" I ask.

"Kyla and Ashley used to look so much alike when they were younger that Sarah started calling Kyla 'mini-ash'" Madison answers.

"come join us" Sarah offers Kyla.

"oh I don't know…" Kyla says subconsciously eyeing Ashley, who's not facing Kyla. Sarah catches the glare.

"yeah, come join us" Ashley mutters sarcastically. Sarah smacks Ashley in the back of the head making her sit up straight. "I mean, yeah, come join us" Ashley says in a more genuine tone. Sarah smiles as she pulls out another chair for Kyla to sit in.

"so are you seriously still holding a grudge against your own sister?" Madison asks Ashley.

"half sister" Ashley corrects her. Sarah smacks her in the back of the head again.

"okay! I get it!" Ashley says to Sarah.

"took you long enough" Sarah comments.

"so Sarah, what are you doing down in L.A.? Not that it's a bad thing or anything, it's just I thought you moved away?"

"oh umm…" Sarah says looking at her friends.

"I'm doing an internship"

"she's teaching music lessons"

"she dropped out of school" All three girls said at the same time. Kyla just gave them a weird look as I burst out laughing at their inability to coordinate.

"okay… so why are you _really_ here?" Kyla asks again. Sarah let's out a quick sigh.

"Parents kicked me out, moving in with you guys" Sarah sums it up.

"ah, now see that makes more sense" Kyla says looking at Ashley and Madison.

"hey, I said she was teaching music lessons, that's realistic" Ashley says.

"yeah right" Madison says.

"yeah well, it's better than 'she dropped out of school'" Ashley said mocking Madison.

"hey, that's better than _music lessons_. We all know Sarah is retarded when it comes to music" Madison comments.

"hey!" Sarah yells. "I prefer to call it harmonically inclined."

"tomatoe-tomatow. Either way, you still suck with music" Madison said with a smirk.

I glance down at my watch and realize I should probably get going now. My mom and dad are probably freaking out. Ever since I mentioned Patrick they seem to think I'm suicidal or something.

"okay, well as much fun as it is hanging out with you guys I have to get home" I say getting up from the table.

"hold on, I'll drive you" Ashley offers. I gladly accept.

On the drive home it's mostly quiet, but it's not like it's awkward or anything. We pull up to my house and she puts the car in park.

"thanks for the ride" I say undoing my seat belt.

"sure. Thanks for understanding about Sarah" she says.

"there's nothing to understand. She needs her friends, and now she has them"

Ashley gives me a little smile. I love her smile. "so I'll see you in school tomorrow?"

"yes, and I'll see you and the rest of the S.A.M. crew there too right?"

"that's right" she says. I smile at her and give her a chaste kiss on the lips.

"bye baby" I say as I get out of the car.

"bye Spence. Oh and don't think I forgot about what Sarah interrupted yesterday. I'll expect a continuation sometime soon!"

"maybe you'll get lucky tomorrow!" I yell right before she drives off.

School the next day was relatively normal, except for the fact that Sarah was ambushed by old friends every two seconds and how Madison sat with us at lunch. Okay, maybe it wasn't so normal… The six of us were sitting together at our main table in the centre of the quad. Every few seconds I would glance around and see people staring at us. Well not at us, but at Sarah, Ashley and Madison. Kyla, Stacey and I were just there.

"so what does Beth think of this whole moving to L.A. thing?" I ask Sarah.

"she's a little bummed that we're going to be apart for a couple of months, but she agreed to visit every few weeks."

"until then, they're just going to have to have phone sex" Ashley said wiggling her eyebrows, Sarah pushed her lightly.

"ow, that hurt my feelings" Ashley said fakely, Sarah gave her a sympathetic look.

"Speaking of hurting someone's feelings…" Stacey started. "Spencer, that Aiden guy has been staring at you for the passed half hour. We all turn around to see him looking directly at me. You'd figure once he saw six girls looking at him he'd turn around, but no. He just kept his eye contact with me.

"ooh, someone's got some competition" Madison said nudging Ashley.

"oh please, that kid's got nothing on me" she said with a cocky grin.

"I don't know…" Kyla started. "he does have a motorcycle…"

"BMW" Ashley stated.

"big hands…" Kyla continued.

"hot body" Ashley said pointing to herself.

"dangerously good looks…"

"one third of the S.A.M. crew" Ashley said with a smile knowing it would make Madison and Sarah happy.

"that's it, Ashley wins" Sarah declares. Even though they're technically not a crew, they still are. Well, people consider them the crew again, just with three new girls on the side; Stacey, Kyla and me.

"but seriously, why is he staring at you?" Kyla asks. Could it be that he likes me and is trying to lure me in with his eyes? Possible, but unlikely. Or maybe not…

"I don't know, maybe he's waiting for a lesbian make out session" I say.

"well if it'll stop him from staring…" Ashley says right before leaning in. I wasn't really expecting this, but what the hey! I start kissing back and we can here people whistling from all around us and the other 4 girls at our table laughing. We break apart and look back at Aiden to see him unaffected and still staring at me.

"guess not" Stacey says.

"oh well, I still enjoyed it" I add in for fun.

"yeah well, this is starting to bother me" Ashley says getting aggravated. Apparently she's the jealous type. "_Hey you_! Stop staring at my girlfriend!" she yells across the quad making everyone turn their heads. Ashley and Aiden keep the staring contest going until he finally smiles and gets up from his seat.

"great, now he's coming over here" I whisper to our table as I see the tall boy make his way over to where we're sitting. Ashley gets up to meet him and they both go back into their staring mode and straight faces. If this were a western, this would be the part where the tumbleweed rolls by and the creepy whistling music plays in the background.

Sarah nudges Madison and they both get up to stand behind Ashley.

"we've got a problem" Ashley says.

"and what is this problem?" Aiden asks.

"you have some crush on my girlfriend, and you need to accept she will never be with you. If you haven't noticed, you aren't a girl"

"thanks, but what makes you so sure I have a 'crush' on your girlfriend?"

"um how about the fact that you're always staring at her…" Sarah says.

"or how even when we say to stop staring at her you come over here anyways" Madison adds. Aiden looks over at the two girls behind Ashley and looks them up and down, it's obvious he's gotten word about the SAM crew. Everyone has. He glances at me quickly and then walks away. Ashley, Sarah and Madison all take their seats back around the table, satisfied with their work.

"stay away from him, he's creepy" Ashley says.

"don't worry, I'm way ahead of you" I answer. "so anyways… that's what the SAM crew looks like in action huh?" The three girls look at each other and start laughing. They didn't even realize they were acting like their old crew again.

"once a crew, always a crew" Sarah says in between laughs, making the other girls laugh harder. The bell rings and everyone around us starts getting up.

"well we better get going Ky" I say grabbing my books off of the table. "Bye guys, bye Ash"

"bye babe" she says with a smile. I turn my face a little so she can kiss me on the cheek like at the end of every lunch, but instead I'm left hanging. Ashley had already walked off with Sarah and Madison. She was probably just a little busy with her friends. No big deal… Right?

After school I go to my locker to see Ashley, Sarah and Madison already at Ashley's locker.

"hey guys"

"hey Spencer" they all say at the same time. I guess I should get used to that, now that they're all hanging out.

"so what are our plans for after school?" I ask.

"um actually, we're going to go help Sarah buy some new clothes." Ashley says.

"yeah, people in Phoenix don't know how to dress" Madison says jokingly, scanning her eyes up and down Sarah's body.

"shut up!" Sarah pushes Madison.

"we'd invite you but I know you hate to be dragged around the mall, especially with us" Ashley says. _Funny, I don't remember ever saying that._

"yeah, okay cool. I'll talk to you later then" I say shutting my locker and starting to back up.

"okay, bye" Ashley calls out already walking in the opposite direction. _This time there wasn't even a cute pet name or anything. No baby, or sweetie, she didn't even say my name. She just said 'bye'. I know I'm probably making something out of nothing, but still… I'll just have to convince myself I'm paranoid. Yeah, that's it, I'm just paranoid over nothing. _

I turn around to start walking forward when I run into someone, dropping my books in the process.

"oh sorry!" I say not even looking at who I ran into and bending down to pick up my books.

"feel free to bump into me anytime" the voice says. I know that voice. I don't like that voice. I look up to see Aiden offering me one of my several books that I dropped. I take the book back without a word and try to walk away but he catches up with me. I would have started walking faster but I'm still struggling to get my books in my bag.

"hey… so you have one protective girlfriend" he comments. "actually, you have three" he says referring to the whole crew.

"yeah, maybe you should take the hint and stay away then" I say trying to get away from him but he just won't give.

"now what fun would that be?"

"look" I say stopping abruptly and facing him. "I don't know what you want from me or if you even like me at all – for all I know you could just be some stalker – but what ever it is, you have to know I'm not interested"

"maybe I'm just looking for a friendship…"

"are you?"

"spend time with me and find out"

I shake my head, this guy just doesn't give up. He kind of reminds me of Ashley a little. "it's not even worth the risk"

"Spencer, come on! Wait!" he calls.

"look, I have to walk home, I'll see you… later" I say, not intending to actually see him at all. Actually, I plan to avoid him like the plague.

"how about a ride?" he asks holding out his motorcycle helmet. _I know it's wrong, but my house is kind of far to walk. I usually get a ride from Ashley, and there's no way Glen would give me a ride. So, what can it hurt? It's just a ride… right?_

I take his helmet and climb on the back of the bike with him. _So much for the plague_.

---

He pulls up to my house on his bike and he turns it off. I loosen my grip from his stomach and step off his bike. I take the helmet off and flip my hair like some shampoo commercial. I've always wanted to do that.

"thanks for the ride" I say handing him back his helmet.

"any time" he smiles. I'm about to walk away when he starts speaking to me again. "look, I know that you've got a girlfriend and all, but if you ever need to talk I'm… I'm here." I don't think I've ever heard a guy say that to me. Well, besides my dad.

I don't say anything for a while. I'm still wondering if I should talk to him. It'd be nice to talk to someone about Ashley and everything, but I don't know if he's the right person. He's about to put his helmet back on when I say something.

"I-I don't think Ashley knows I exist anymore" I say in advertently. He gives me a look and puts his helmet on his bike, as he gets off. He and I both take a seat on the curb in front of my house.

"let me guess. She's so caught up in her friends she's forgetting she has a girlfriend" he guesses. It's a pretty damn good guess. My silence confirms it. "look, Spencer, as much as I'm routing for your relationship to fail, this happens a lot. Everyone always wants that perfect balance in their relationship. They want to have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, and they want their friends to get along with them. It's just… sometimes it's easier to keep them separate. And when you do you always end up neglecting someone"

What he says makes sense. "so then what do I do?" I know there's always the chance that he's going to give me bad advice, I mean he said he was routing for my relationship to fail.

"Look, Spencer, I like you. I don't know if I'm the right person to give you this advice…"

"Aiden, you know I can't…"

"so you're saying, I have absolutely no chance? You don't like me in any way and you wouldn't go for me in a million years? Because if so, just say the word Spencer and I'll back off"

"I…" don't know what to say.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Death (děth) n. the event of dying or departure from life, the permanent end of all life functions in an organism or part of an organism, the absence of life or state of being dead, the time when something ends. Something… like a friendship.

Today was not just any ordinary day. Today was something different. Remember how I said Patrick… you know… 2 years ago? Well as of today, it's 3 years ago. My parents know it too, and so do my brothers. That's why when I get up in the morning, and I tell them I'm 'sick' there are no questions asked. They know that one day out of the year I'm allowed to grieve, and today's that day. Tomorrow there will be no questions, and no comforting hugs. I don't need them. I just need my one day out of the year to be alone and cry.

I call Ashley because god knows she won't call me. Not with everything that's been happening lately.

"hey Spencer" Ashley answers her phone.

"hey, can you get the English homework for me today? I'm not going into school" _I say grimly, trying to throw her a bone. If I were to let anyone into my mind today, it's going to be my girlfriend. It's the first time that I've actually had a girlfriend on the day of Patrick's… 'anniversary' I guess you could call it. I think that if Ashley actually figured it out, I'd talk to her on this day. _

"something wrong?" _maybe she is catching on._

"just feeling a little sick, nothing big. I'll be back tomorrow" _come on, Ashley, you know I don't sound sick._

"okay then… I guess I'll see you tomorrow" she says and hangs up the phone. _She's hopeless._

_I spend the entire day locked up in my room, only leaving to go down for food. I have a bathroom connected to my room. So I spend this day like I usually do, going through old photos of me and Patrick._

_I flip the page of a book to see Patrick giving me a piggy back ride. We've both got sunglasses on and his hair's all moussed up. He went through that phase thinking 'the more product the better'. We were so close. So close a lot of people thought we were dating. But he was more like a brother to me than anything. _

_I look over to my purse and I remember inside my purse is my wallet, inside my wallet is an envelope, and inside that envelope is his letter. I still don't know when I'm going to open it, or if I am ever going to open it. All I know is that, that letter is haunting me. I get up from my spot on the floor and grab the letter. I sit back down and place it in front of me. I think it's taunting me. I pick it up and stare at it hard… maybe I should open it now. _

Before I can think any further on the subject my phone starts vibrating. _Please, please let it be Ashley._ I look at the caller I.D. and see it's definitely not Ashley.

It's Aiden.

At least he sensed something was wrong. However, I don't answer the phone. I don't want to talk to him today. In fact I don't want to talk to anyone. Not since Ashley isn't here. I pick up my phone and turn it off. No need to waste battery.

I focus my attention back on the white envelope still in front of me. _I really wish Ashley was here. She'd be sitting next to me holding my hand urging me to open it. You know what? Who needs Ashley? Today is my alone day, and today is going to be different. I'm going to open the letter._

_Wait, apparently my hands already made that decision two minutes ago, seeing as the letter is already ripped open and in my hands. I take a deep breath and look down at the messy writing on the note. This is it…_

Dear Spencer,

I don't even know where to start. I guess I should first say I'm sorry. I know those words will never be enough, but they had to be said. I'm sorry that I won't be there with you when you graduate, or when you fall in love for the first time, or when you get married, and I'm definitely sorry I won't be there for all of your birthdays to come. I'm sorry. I know this must all be a big surprise to you, but I'm sure by now you've figured out I've been having some problems and I just couldn't take it anymore. This was bigger than me and you put together. So don't even go thinking for a second you could have changed it. I know you want to blame yourself but you can't, and don't you dare. I love you Spencer. You've always been there for me, even when you didn't even realize it. Sometimes I would go over to your house after another one of my parent's fights, and you'd cheer me up. I don't know how you did it, but you did. I love you for that. I want you to know, in fact, I NEED you to know that none of this is your fault. This has nothing to do with you. If anything, you helped me last longer than I did. I just got to the point in my life where all of the good_ you_ supplied, was being over taken by the bad.

I remember when we stayed up all night for the first time together. You told your parents you were over at Ellie's, and I told my parents I was over at Johnny's. Funny how they actually believed us. But you know they would never let us stay together for the night… you know being girl/boy and all. We pitched a tent in that open field by the school and stayed up for the whole night, talking about nothing… and everything. I think that's what I'm going to miss the most. Just being friends with you. Because there was never a time in my life when I was happier. I want you to know Spencer, that you made me so happy in my life and I don't even know how to begin thank you.

Spencer Carlin, you will always and forever be the person who made my life worth living.

Your best friend,

Patrick

_I look up from the page and I know my shirt is soaking wet from the tears. A couple of drops even fell onto the paper. It's a huge deal to know that I had that big of an affect on someone's life. I hope he knows he made a huge impact on my life too. I would be nothing with out him._

"thank you Patrick" I whisper to no one but the silence in my room. This is the one day out of the year I always spend alone. But, this is the first time I've never wanted to be alone. All I want is Ashley… But apparently she's not here for me.

_She broke her promise._

**Okay, so I know I skipped the whole Aiden thing, but that's coming up in the next chapter. They all kind of tie together soon.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

The next day, I was a little upset that Ashley hadn't called me that night. I know it might seem like I'm being clingy, but I'm not, all I wanted was to say hi to her, that's all. Maybe even talk to her about Patrick, but no. It's been like this for the passed few days. I would see her at school, but it's like she's always hanging with Sarah and Madison, which I have no problem with. But it's like we don't even have conversations anymore. I don't even think she's kissed me in the passed 72 hours.

I'm at my locker organizing my books and I guess it's obvious I'm not happy today because Aiden walks up to me and asks me what's wrong.

"nothing" I say slamming my locker shut. _I really needed Ashley yesterday and she wasn't there._

"really? Cause your locker would say otherwise."

"It's nothing" I repeat.

"it's Ashley, isn't it?" _this guy is starting to annoy me, but lately I've talked to him after school more than I have with Ashley. He's been there for me basically everyday, despite my best efforts to get rid of him._

"It's jus-" _Before I can finish my sentence Ashley cuts in. Why hello there!_

"didn't I tell you to stay away from Spencer?" she asks rudely. For once Sarah and Madison aren't with her. She's just by herself. Just like I was yesterday.

"shouldn't you be running along with your friends?" he asks.

"look, don't make me do something I'm going to regret"

"what? Are you going to spread rumours about me?" he mocks. I can tell Ashley's getting pissed off, but right now I don't care. They're fighting over me, but they're acting like I'm not even there. So I do what anybody else would do. I start walking away. I'm a good 25 feet away before either of them notice. Aiden was actually the first to notice.

"Spencer!" I can hear him call out.

"just leave her alone, she doesn't like you!" Ashley yells loud enough for everyone in that hall to hear.

"how do you know what she wants?"

"because I'm her girlfriend!"

"whatever" he scoffs. "if you were a good girlfriend, you'd be able to forget about me and see that Spencer is unhappy!"

"she_ is_ happy… no thanks to you"

"shut up! Both of you!" I yell. Just as I realize what I yelled I turn around and try to walk away, but Ashley and Aiden just catch up with me.

"listen, Spencer I'm sorry…" Aiden apologizes.

"leave her alone!" Ashley says pushing him away. Hmm, which one would I choose at this moment, the person who's trying to apologize and care for me, or the person who is still yelling? _Tough call_. "Spencer, what's wrong?" she asks softening her voice for me.

"nothing" okay, that's a lie, but what ever.

"see, I told you she's happy." Ashley says. _How can she be so blind?_

"no she's not, just listen to the sound of her voice. If you were any kind of girlfriend you'd be able to hear it"

"Spencer, is that true?"

"look, I don't want to talk about this here" I try to get away _once again_, but I'm held back by Ashley's arm.

"no, just tell me. If this guy is bothering you I'll-"

"-It's not him Ashley!" I yell impatiently. I didn't mean to hurt her, or even yell it, but it just happened. And I already regret it because of the look on her face.

"told you" Aiden mutters. Ashley turns to him and slaps him across the face. _I have to admit, he deserved that_.

"come on" she tries pulling me away but I rip my arm out of her grip.

"no, just leave me alone. Just like you have for the passed 3 days!"

"I was just with Sarah and Madison" she argues.

"yeah, and ignoring me. Ashley, I've barely talked to you in the last few days! I needed you and you weren't there"

"what are you talking about? Is this about you being sick? Because I could have come over or-"

"-I wasn't sick! Yesterday wasn't even about me… it was about Patrick…"

"what about him?" she asked softly. She knows it's a touchy subject with me. At least she knows _that much_ about me.

"…I opened the letter. You promised me you would be around, but you weren't. You were off with Sarah"

"I thought you want me to be happy with Sarah…"

"I do, but when I said that, I was hoping that I could be your girlfriend too!"

"you are!"

"no, I'm not. I'm just something you put on the back burner." I spat out.

"that's not true…"

"isn't it?! Ashley, tell me that last time was when you kissed me" I make her think. She takes a second and replays the last few days in her head. "… exactly" If she can't think of it fast enough, then it's been too long.

"what about _you_?!"

"what about _me_?!" _How dare she try to pin this on me!_

"you've been spending all of your time with Aiden!"

"no I haven't!" _I really haven't. It's like 10 minutes after school, for what? 3 days now?_

"oh yeah? Then why have I been hearing rumours that he's been giving you rides home and you've been hooking up."

"You of all people should know that the rumours at this school are never true! He gave me _a couple _ofrides home… when you ditched me to hang out with Sarah and Madison."

"but why him?! You had to choose the one other person who is in love with you?!"

"Ashley, he was the _only_ person around! Because clearly you weren't there!"

"but why him? Why not Kyla?"

"because he knows what it's like to be in love with someone who doesn't want you back…" I say quietly. I can see her face change from anger to guilt. She's trying to come up with another argument, but she doesn't have one.

"that's not true, Spen-" she starts, but I don't let her finish.

"look, Ashley… maybe we should just take a break for a while…" I say suppressing my anger, hoping that none of the by-standers can hear.

"that's what people always say before they want to break up…"

"no, look, we just need to cool it for a while. You go hang with Sarah and Madison and figure stuff out. I'll hang with… whoever. We just need some time to think about this. Figure out if it's really going to work."

"what are you talking about? we work fine"

"well right now, I don't think we do…"

**I know it's kind of short, but what do you think? Enough drama for you? **


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

The next day at school everything seemed different. Like something was missing. That something was my girlfriend… ex-girlfriend… something in between that. I don't really know anymore. All I know is that things were different. I was late on my first day of school because now that Ashley and I are on a "break" I walk to school. FYI walking is a lot slower that driving.

In between classes I always go to my locker to change my books. It's weird now that Ashley's not there to talk to me, or stand beside me, or even offer to carry my books. I forgot how heavy these things are. So not only am I late, and my books are heavy, but I feel like I don't know anyone. It's this point in time that I realize, I don't have very many friends. Which is pathetic, I know.

Well, I have Kyla but I only see her during lunch and last period. But other than that, I always had Ashley or Stacey in one of my classes. And now that Ashley and I are on a break, things between me and Stacey are awkward, which I understand because Stacey is first and foremost friends with Ashley.

Look at me rambling on about Ashley… I need to get her out of my head. Okay, so focus.

Aiden. _On second thought, no. I don't want to think about him either._

Let's try this again. Focus.

Food. Yeah, I like food.

Food is good.

Ashley likes food too.

_Damn!_ I probably shouldn't have picked something everyone in the world likes. Well everyone except the anorexic people. They have terrible figures. Not like Ashley's. _Damn! I did it again._

I don't think it matters how hard I try, I just can't get this girl out of my head. Maybe I shouldn't… I mean it's not like anyone can read my thoughts. So why not think about her?

So after my first 3 classes, it's lunch time. I quickly meet up with Kyla and we go off and get some lunch. I was tired of being alone all morning. We take a seat no where near Ashley's table, but we can still see it. We can still see her.

She's sitting with the Sarah and Madison. They all seem to be talking about something, but Ashley's not really interested, instead she's just playing with her food.

"okay, that's enough. Stop drooling over Ashley" Kyla interrupts my thoughts.

"I wasn't drooling over her. I was just… looking at the girl behind her" I make up, not even bothering to check if there is a girl behind her. But of course Kyla checks.

"you mean that girl, who looks like a guy, who looks like Aiden, who actually is Aiden?" she clarifies. And just as it is, Aiden just happens to be sitting at the table behind Ashley. What are the chances of that.

"what? No I mean the other girl, who looks like a guy, who looks like Aiden, but _isn't_ Aiden" I say pointing to the guy beside Aiden. Kyla just shakes her head at me.

"look, I don't know who you like or who you're going after, but you better make up your mind"

"I don't like Aiden." I say.

"so then why did you and Ashley break up?"

"we didn't _break up_" I emphasize. "we're just taking time to straighten our thoughts out"

"straighten? As in straight - not gay?" she asks, referring to Aiden.

"what? No. You over think things"

"Spencer, just solve your problems with Ashley, you know you want to"

"I do, but I don't know if I can" I say as I glance over at Ashley and her table. All of a sudden Madison and Sarah stand up, but Ashley quickly pulls them back down. I wish I knew what they were talking about. Where's Stacey? Oh there she is walking up to the SAM crew and gladly sitting beside them.

"Spencer, focus!" Kyla says snapping in front of my face. I come out of my Ashley daze and focus back on Kyla.

"just so you know, I don't think Ashley's the only one at fault here"

"what?"

"Spencer, you knew Aiden was bad news, and you knew Ashley wouldn't like it. Of all the people you choose to share your feelings with, you choose the one person Ashley is afraid of"

"Ashley's not afraid of Aiden. She's not afraid of anyone"

"is that what you think? Spence, have you noticed that Ashley hasn't done anything to Aiden? Or how none of the SAM crew has? It's because Ashley doesn't want to. Actually, she can't. She knows what ever she does, she won't be able to get him to leave you alone. She's always been afraid that she's going to lose _you_ to _him_ and right now, it kind of looks like she has."

"yeah well she didn't need him to lose me. She lost me all on her own…"

"she was with her best friend. If you had a chance to spend time with your best friend from Ohio wouldn't you take it? Even if it meant spending a little less time with your girlfriend?"

_I would give anything to spend time with Patrick. But he's gone._

"Spencer, you know that Ashley neglecting you wasn't a permanent thing" Kyla states. "she… just missed her friend. Given, she did kind of leave you alone in your time of need, but that's a different story"

_How does she know I was in a 'time of need'? Whatever, it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that Kyla's right. I guess if Patrick came back I'd spend all of my time with him. But then again, he would have to rise from the dead. Which might freak me out a little. Just a little._

Trying to get my mind of the topic at hand I glance up at Ashley and let my mind drift on her. I wish I was beside her, laughing with her. I miss her so much. Across the quad I see Ashley talking with her friends. She looks just as amazing as every other day. Her long beautiful hair, deep brown eyes, they're just so addicting. But the thing is, those deep brown eyes are staring back into mine. That's right, Ashley's looking at me just as I'm looking at her.

I wonder if she misses me as much as I miss her…

(Ashley's POV)

Today's going to be just like any other day. I'm promising this to my self as I just wake up. The alarm clock is not my friend. In fact I've gone through quite a few of these alarm clocks. Some how they always end up getting smashed against the wall. I'm not really sure how that happens. Oh wait, yes I am. It's because I throw them against the wall. Teaches those alarm clock makers to make the alarm so damn annoying. Anyways, back to the topic at hand. Today is going to be a normal day.

So I get up, shower, grab a small breakfast. Yell at Kyla to move her ass. Ever since I promised to give her a ride to school every morning, I've regretted it. Next, I grab my phone to call Spencer to let her know I'm coming to get her. But then I remember something.

We're on a "break". Whatever the hell that means. So now that we're on this break, I guess that means I don't have to give her a ride to school. But I wish I did. We split yesterday and I'm already missing her.

Once at school I ditch Kyla like usual and head for my locker praying that Spencer isn't there. I look around and fortunately the hall way is practically empty. I grab my books and run away quickly hoping that I don't have to see _her_. To my surprise I show up to class earlier than anyone else. I take my seat and wait for everyone else to come in. But as people are coming in. I realize that my seat is right next to my girlfriend's. Or should I say 'ex'? maybe we're just back to being friends. How about I just call her girl? Solves all problems. Okay so when Stacey comes in I sit in her seat before she takes hers. She looks down at me wondering what the hell I'm doing. I glance over to "girl's" empty seat and she follows my view. She gets the hint and sits in my seat. Great, now I just have to avoid her for the rest of the day and everything's going to be okay.

But all this makes me wonder… do I really _want_ to avoid her all day? I mean, should I be trying to fix everything? Because I know I fucked, and bad. But Spencer wouldn't have asked for a break if she didn't want to spend time away from me. So that's what I'll do. I'll give her some space for a while. I can wait a few days right? Aw, who are we kidding, I probably won't be able to last more than a couple of days. That girl is my life.

Speaking of said girl, where is she? Class started like 20 minutes ago and she's still not here. I hope she's okay. Before I could get into some gruesome thoughts about the possibilities of what happened to her, she walks in the room. I let out a breath I didn't even realize I've been holding. She rushes to her seat and pulls out her book to catch up with the rest of the class.

She doesn't even look at me. Does she really hate me that much?

So the next few class went by pretty good, no Spencer, no problems. At lunch Madison and Sarah find me before I find them and we take a seat at our regular table. We got the prime spot in the quad. Dead centre. No one else dares to take this table. They know if they do they run the risk of getting a SAM crew whoop ass. Speaking of our crew. I guess we're back together. It's not like we talked about it or did it on purpose, it's just everybody assumed that we're back together, and well… we didn't deny it.

So here we are at lunch, and I guess they can tell I'm unhappy because they start talking to me.

"so…" Sarah starts off. "what's going on with you and Spencer?" she asks. I haven't really told her the details. I've already gotten myself into enough trouble by spending all my time with her. All I told her was that Spencer and I got into a fight about me ignoring her lately, and she wants to go on a "break".

"she's ignoring me, and doing a pretty good job at it too"

"do you want us to kick some ass?" Madison says with a joking smile as her and Sarah stand up. _Oh god, Spencer's looking._ I quickly pull them down and cover my eyes.

"what do I do?" I whisper. "I want her back so badly, but I think she hates me"

"she doesn't hate you" Stacey says joining our table. "…she's just angry at you"

"that's not much better" I say stealing a quick glance this way. Is she looking at me? Oh wait, no, she's looking behind me. I turn around to see Aiden sitting behind me. Are you kidding me? She's looking at Aiden! Maybe I really am screwed.

"well you better act fast before Aiden steals her" Madison says. That's really not helping. We all know it. To show that we all know it, Sarah punches Madison in the shoulder.

Ignoring the stupid stuff my friends are doing I look back at Spencer, this time not bothering to hide my line of view. I look directly at her and stare into her eyes.

I wonder if she misses me as much as I miss her…


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

_Have you ever gotten that feeling where you feel like that the person you are totally and completely in love with is the right person for you? All you're waiting for is for them to do something totally and completely romantic for them to prove their love. _

_Well, that moment hasn't come for me just yet._

_Ashley and I have been on a "break" for about a week now. And honestly, I was kind of expecting her to show up at my front door with a single red rose or something, but I guess I don't live in a fairy tale. Instead we haven't talked in 7 days, I'm surprised she even lasted a week, but the thing is we barely even look at each other. In first period class she switched seats with Stacey just so she doesn't have to sit next to me. When I said I wanted a break, I didn't mean I wanted to be treated like I didn't exist. I wanted us to still be friends at least, and then slowly make our way back to what we were. I mean, I know she still loves me, because I still love her. I love her in that 'totally and completely in love with her' kind of a way. If she didn't love me back she wouldn't have said 'I love you'._

_Not to mention, she hasn't asked for her bracelet back. I know that's a good sign, because I can sometimes see her playing with it during class. I know because when I start playing with mine, it reminds me of her and I look over at her and she's doing the same thing. _

_Sometimes I want her back so badly that I just want to forgive her for everything. But other times I remember what she did and I just get angry all over again. Like how she ditched me for her friends, and ignored me for three days. Especially after we slept together last week for the first time. And after I helped her get her friend back. If it weren't for me Sarah wouldn't even be going to this school. Great! Now I'm angry again! And here comes Ashley…_

"Spencer can we talk?" she asks following me out of the class room.

"now's not really a good time" I say slightly angry. It's only a bad time because I'm angry.

"please, look I just want to talk to you for a few minutes…"

"look Ashley, a simple conversation isn't going to fix this all"

"well what do you want me to do? Just tell me and I'll do it!"

"it doesn't work that way."

"well then maybe we should just end it." She states.

"you don't mean that, do you?"

"no, but it seems like you want it that way!"

"Ashley, all I want is to be your girlfriend, but you have to _let_ me be your girlfriend. You can't just turn me off whenever you want. I'm not some toy. Being in a relationship takes work, from _both_ people"

"I know, I know! I'm just not used to being in a relationship!"

"that was your excuse last time! Eventually you have to learn, or there won't be a relationship." I start backing away slowly.

"I've told you time and time again… I won't give up on you Spencer Carlin" _I hope she doesn't._

After school Kyla and Stacey showed up at my door step, obviously sent over by Ashley. She probably would have sent Sarah and Madison but she's probably using their help.

"so… Ashley wants to know what she can do to win you back" Stacey says casually as she's looking around my room.

"Stacey, we weren't supposed to tell her that!" Kyla says from the bed beside me.

"what ever, she already knew" _It's true, I did._

"ok well, since it's out in the open anyways, what can she do?" Kyla asks,

"I'm not going to tell her what to do" I simply state. "I don't even know what she can do. I don't know if I want her to do something. I just want things to go back to the way they were"

"when you were dating or when you were just friends?" Stacey asks for clarification.

"partly both I guess. It's just- why can't- I don't know how I want things… all I know is I want simple, maybe Ashley and I just shouldn't be in a relationship"

"Ashley is not synonymous with simple" Stacey laughs. _Don't I know it._

"look, you guys aren't going to get an answer out of me… so you might as well tell Ashley to think of something herself"

"please, she won't even do that much. Everyone knows Sarah's the brains behind all of their plans" Kyla says. "they're probably at home right now thinking of a bunch of romantic things for you."

_I find it cute that they're working that hard just for me. But I find it a little pathetic that someone as romantic as Ashley can't come up with something by herself. But whatever, apparently she needs her friends to lean on. _

The next day Stacey and I went to period one to find Ashley absent. Lately things between me and Stacey haven't been too bad. They're not exactly the way they were before, but it's getting better. But anyways, we noticed that Sarah and Madison were all gone from classes that morning too. We grabbed some lunch from the cafeteria and met up with Kyla. We were walking over to our table when we saw the SAM crew all sitting down talking about something.

"you wanna go over there?" Stacey asks.

"yeah, let's go" I say, we can at least talk sometimes… I hope. We walk over to their table and grab their attention. "hey guys, mind if we sit?" I ask already putting my tray down.

"actually… can I talk to you?" Ashley asks. Without a reply she pulls me away a few feet from the table so that no one can fully hear our conversation.

"look, I know you want me to do something really romantic to show how much I love you, and trust me I've tried to think of something to show you how much I care for you, but it never seems like enough."

"Ashley, I don't expect some guy to deliver roses to my front door or anything, all I'm asking you is to tell me you love me and to just treat me like you girlfr-"

"I got it!" she yells randomly, loud enough for our table to hear. "come here" she says pulling me towards the table. She sets me in front of it, and steps on her chair, then onto the top of the table. Seriously, when I said I didn't need a public display of affection, I really meant it.

"Ashley, get down" I say quietly seeing as she's already attracted some of the attention of other students. You know how I hate crowds. Exhibit A: our English presentation.

"no" she says and looks around, I can tell our friends are quite puzzled by what's happening. "Can I have everyone's attention please?!" she yells to the whole quad. People slowly quiet down and look at her. It's weird how she can capture people's attention like that. I even see Aiden looking over at us wondering what the hell I'm going to do. Better yet, what the hell is Ashley going to do?

"Okay, as I'm sure you all know, I'm dating this wonderful girl standing right in front of me" she says pointing to me, everyone averts their eyes to me and I can feel the blood rush to my face, I've never been to good with audiences. "now, I know I'm not the perfect girlfriend, and I do screw up sometimes. But I don't think I have ever been in love so much in my life and I wouldn't dare pass up an opportunity with this girl. Spencer Carlin, I love you with all of my heart. I love the way we can sit in silence and have the best time of our lives. I love that you share your deepest secrets with me and most of all I love that you say 'I love you' back. If I die tomorrow I'll know that I died happy because I have the person I love most in my life. Spencer, if you'll take me back I promise to be the best girlfriend you've ever had. Past, present and future." Ashley extends her hand down to me for me to climb up on the table.

Step 1: Swoon. Step 2: Collect thoughts. Step 3: Speak. Wait, on second thought, replace step 3 with step 1.

"please Spencer" she begs. _This is one of those moments where you can say 'that's when everything changed. It was that moment that I will never forget'. This is because I have two options. One option being I can walk away from this relationship and all the drama that comes with it, or… I can accept that every relationship has flaws and go get the girl I love. Both very persuasive, both very confusing to me. I look down towards Ashley's feet to see our four friends staring back at me, and I look around the quad to see everyone eagerly awaiting my answer. My eyes slowly drift to Aiden, who has an expressionless face. It doesn't really matter what I do, because I think it's safe to say I will never be with him. You know… the whole 'not a girl' thing. So this all leads down to my decision. Do I choose the girl and her drama, or choose the easy life?_

_Well… I always liked a challenge._

I slowly lift my now, sweaty hand, and place it in the palm of hers. I take a step up to the chair, then again to the table. Without a word I'm pulled closer into Ashley for that simple mind blowing kiss.

_Yep, that's when everything changed…_

I think I heard some people clapping afterwards, but I'm not to sure, I passed out a few seconds later. I said it before and I'll say it again, I'm bad under pressure. But then again… there is always that beautiful face I open my eyes to. And God, is she beautiful.

**Yay! They're back together! Hope you're all happy now. I hope you liked this chapter, I really liked writing it. So I hate to tell you this, but I just thought you should know… there's some more drama in the next chapter… and yes, it has something to do with Aiden. You didn't think he was going to go away that easily did you? Lol. Try not to yell at me when you review.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

We skipped the rest of the day to spend our time together in the quad. We were outside just sitting on the grass, her hand in mine. I loved it. She's sitting cross legged and my head is in her lap as I'm lying down on the ground in front of her.

"how are you feeling?" she asked for the 6th time. That's right, count it. 6 times. "any dizziness?" she asked brushing some hair out of my face.

"I'm always dizzy when I'm around you" yeah, I'm corny. Get used to it. She leans down and gives me a quick kiss.

"I'm sorry for everything before. For ignoring you, I didn't even realize it which just makes it worse."

"forget about it. I don't really want to dwell on the past. Right now, it's all about you and me, right?"

"that's right" she smiles sweetly. "so, I was thinking about our night in the love shack a few days ago. I would love to do it again sometime"

"Ashley Davies are you trying to seduce me?"

"maybe I am. Why? Is it working?"

"maybe…" I smile back. This time I lean up for a kiss. As soon as I press my lips to hers we hear the final bell ring, and students quickly exit their class rooms.

Instead of getting up we just watch as everybody carries on with their usual routine. Except Sarah, Madison, Kyla and Stacey who all make their way over to us.

"hey you two" Sarah says.

"hey" Ashley and I say at the same time. She smiles down at me, even I can tell we're cute together.

"so what are we doing today?" Sarah asks.

"um _we_ aren't doing anything" Ashley says pointing to everyone standing around us. "_we_ are a little busy" she says pointing to me and herself.

"no, we don't have to hang out you know" I say to Ashley. But I really want to.

"well I want to" she says back to me. "I've spent over a week without you, and I don't want to go any longer without _my_ Spencer"

"_your_ Spencer?" Madison asks. "ugh, I think I'm going to barf" We watch as Stacey pushes her out of the way and stands in front of her so we can't see her.

"ignore her" Stacey says with a smile.

"gladly" Ashley responds.

"so how you feeling buddy?" Kyla asks me as she crouches down beside us. "that's the second time you've taken a nose dive to the ground since you've been here" she says making everyone laugh. Everyone but me.

"hey! I prefer to call it gracefully fainting, thank you!"

"yeah whatever. Either way you should go see a doctor or something. I've never seen anyone afraid of audiences as much as you"

"I just don't like to think about people judging me" I don't know if I could ever stand up in front of a crowd like Ashley did. If I were to, it would have to be for a damn good reason. Like maybe I won a million dollars or something.

"look, I'm starving, you want to grab something to eat?" Ashley asks me quickly changing the subject, which I have no problem with. I think she sensed I didn't want to talk about it.

"yeah sure" I say as we both start getting up.

"ooh, you know there's that new pizza place that just opened up down the street" Sarah suggests.

"yeah! I heard that place is good" Stacey adds.

"pizza?" Madison sounds disgusted. "can't we go some place civil for once, like-"

"-uh, when I asked if you wanted to grab something to eat, I was talking to Spencer" Ashley said as she grabs my hand and we start walking away. But we can tell the 4 girls are still following us.

"oh come on, we have to eat too" Kyla says. Look at these moochers.

"fine, go eat somewhere else, just don't bother us"

"please…" Stacey begged. I look over at Ashley and she knows I'm a sucker for begging. And I know she's a sucker for me. She gives me this look saying 'I don't want to bring them along'. But I give her this look saying 'it's just_ one_ lunch'. I look back at the four awaiting girls who seemed to be very confused by our facial conversation.

She finally gives me this look telling me 'fine, but you owe me'. I smile back at her knowing she can't resist me. I love our facial conversations.

"fine, Sarah hitch a ride with Madison, you other two, with us." Ashley said and I can see them all smile.

"thanks Ashley" they all say together. It was a little weird. We all head down to the pizza place and the girls grab a table for us to sit at, while Ashley and I order the pizzas. We take a seat in the six person booth and Ashley puts her arm around my shoulder.

Soon the pizza's come, but just before we eat anything we see someone walk in.

"you've got to be kidding me" Ashley says. I think Aiden's stalking me now. He takes a seat on the other side of the pizzeria, but still close enough so that he can see us.

"I'll be back" I say as I free myself from Ashley's grip and walk over to Aiden. He's hiding behind a menu trying to be all innocent. Innocent my ass. I take a seat across from him but doesn't say anything yet. He finally lowers the plastic menu and fakes a surprised face as if he didn't know I had sat down.

"oh, hey Spencer" he says with a smile.

"why are you following me?"

"I'm not following you" he laughs. "but since you and I both seem to be here…" I roll my eyes. "I saw Ashley's little speech at lunch. Couldn't resist her could you?"

"I love her"

"why can't you love _me_?" _wow, I didn't exactly see that one coming._

"Aiden, you know it doesn't work like that…"

"I know you like me too. Don't even pretend that you don't…"

"okay, Aiden. I like you. Is that what you want to hear?!" I whisper loudly, he's pissing me off now.

"then why can't we be together?" he asks back in the same tone.

"because… I _like _you, but I _love_ Ashley" I say simply and get back up and walk back over to my girlfriend.

I sit down and see them all laughing at something. I lean over and kiss her on the cheek and take a bite out of my pizza.

"everything okay?" Ashley asks me.

"yeah" I say with a fake smile. But, it's not okay. I can't have feelings for two separate people. I just can't.

**okay, so note to all spashley fans: please, please don't yell! I promise to solve everything soon!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Ashley came to pick me up this morning. We're walking down the hall hand in hand like usual when we saw Aiden waiting at our lockers. Well not _our_ lockers, _my_ locker.

"Spencer, what's going on with this guy? He's always following you."

"I know, and I told him to stop" I whisper to her. We make our way over to our lockers and make ourselves known.

"can we help you?" Ashley asks gripping my hand tighter.

"can I talk to you?" he asks me, and only me.

"no" I reply.

"Spencer please…"

"she said no. Now leave" Ashley says firmly.

"no, I'm not going until you talk to me" Aiden said answering Ashley, but talking to me.

"Aiden, we talked. Just leave it at that" I say trying to get him to leave. It's bad enough as it is.

"fine, if you won't talk to me I'll talk to you!" he yells, grabbing the attention of a few close people. "Spencer, I don't see why you can't be with me! You can't honestly see anything in her" he yells pointing towards Ashley.

"excuse me?" Ashley pipes in. Oh please just let this end now.

"I know you like me, Spencer. I know it. You even said it" oh shit. Ashley's not going to be happy about that.

"what!?" Ashley yells turning to me. I knew it. She let go of my hand.

"no Ashley, it's not like that." I try to convince Ashley. "Aiden, leave now" I growl.

"no, I won't leave!" he yells. Ashley's still staring at me.

"look, Ashley… I love you, I do" I plead.

"oh let me guess… you love him too?" she asks with tears in her eyes. This is killing me.

"no! I love _you_ and _only_ you!"

"then why does he love you so much!?" she yells. I can feel the tears start to burn my eyes.

I can't answer her, and I think that's why she's trying to walk away. "Ashley, wait…"

"no. I begged to get back together with you. I grovelled. I bared my soul for you in front of everyone! And how do you repay me? You fall in love with someone else!"

"so you do love me?" Aiden asks randomly. Both Ashley and I turn to him.

"shut up!" we both yell together. Fuck.

"Ashley, I-"

"-tell me you don't have feeling for him and I'll forget everything, just tell me you don't…"

"I-I…" I can't get a sentence out. I can see the tears streaming down her face now. It's killing me to see her like this. It hurts even more knowing I'm the one who is causing it.

"don't worry… your expression says it all" she says as she turns away to leave. But before she does she turns right back around and takes something out of her bag. "by the way… happy one month anniversary" she says and hands me a package and walks away. It's a package wrapped in some sort of manila coloured parchment paper, with a string to hold it together. I undo the small bow and the paper falls to the ground. It's a picture of me and her, just smiling at each other. With no worries in the world. I would give anything just to go back to that moment. The worst part of this all, was that I forgot it was our anniversary.

I am the worst girlfriend ever.

"Spencer…" Aiden says, I forgot he was still there. He walks up to me and tries to grab my hand. Instead I quickly pull back and slap him across the face. I'm crying because the person I love just walked away from me, and here he is still trying to get with me.

"stay away from me!" I yell. "I don't love you! Why can't you just understand!? I love Ashley, and I will never love you! Just… just leave me alone…" I say and take off in the same direction as Ashley, I run to the parking lot to already see Ashley and her car gone.

"fuck!" I yell in frustration, it's a rare occasion when I swear.

"Spencer?" I hear a voice from behind me. I turn around to see Kyla, Stacey, Madison and Sarah all holding coffee. That's probably why they weren't there to see the… outburst.

"Spencer are you okay?" Kyla asks me. I guess she can see I'm upset. Hmm, I wonder why. Maybe it was from me yelling 'fuck' or from the tears still running down my face.

Before I can answer Sarah's phone buzzes. I know she just got a text message from Ashley. Sarah nudges Madison and shows her the message. They both look up at me at the same time, and I may not know what's in the message, but I know it's about me, and I know it's not good.

"we're going to go find Ashley" Sarah says. "Stacey, you coming?"

Kyla's already at my side hugging me.

"um, yeah…" Stacey says. They all head for Madison's car and take off. I can't blame Stacey for leaving. She was Ashley's friend first.

"Spencer, what happened?" Kyla asks.

"Aiden…" screwed up everything. I would have said that if it were true. But it's not. Not entirely. "I… I screwed up everything" I say collapsing in her arms.

"Shh, it's okay Spencer" I know she's desperately trying to comfort me, but right now I know nothing's going to be okay.

I spent the rest of the day crying and trying to get a hold of Ashley. Of course she wouldn't answer her phone. She _does_ have caller I.D.

Kyla's been over at my house with me to make sure I'm okay. I'm thankful to have a friend like her. When she was forced to choose between me and Ashley, her sister, she chose me. Not many people would do that. But then again I haven't told her what happened yet. I think now's the best time.

"I told Aiden I had feelings for him" I say randomly.

"what?"

"Aiden. I told him I liked him, while I was dating Ashley."

"… why?"

"… I-I don't know… it's just, Ashley was ignoring me, and he was around. He talked to me, he actually conversed with me when I needed it most. I just felt a connection with him." I'd go on telling her about Patrick, but she doesn't know anything about him.

"and what about Ashley?"

"Kyla, you know I love her. It's just when I needed someone - she wasn't around, Aiden was. And it's not like anything happened. But I can't lie to her. I did have feelings for him, but I could never do anything intentional to hurt Ashley. You know I wouldn't…" I couldn't take it anymore, once again the tears were falling from my eyes.

Kyla pulled me into her arms again for another hug. "I know Spencer… I know"

She pulled back from the hug and wiped her own tears out of her eyes. "you need to talk to Ashley" she states.

---

I tried calling Sarah's number seeing as Ashley wouldn't answer her phone. While I called Sarah Kyla called Madison and Stacey.

"hello?" Sarah answered.

"Sarah, please can I talk to her?"

"she's not here" that's a lie.

"I know she's there with you guys. I just don't know where you guys are."

"Spencer… now just isn't good" Sarah says and hangs up the phone. I turn to Kyla and I can tell by the look on her face she's not getting any straight answers either. It's obvious they're at one of their places, but I just don't know which one.

---

The next few days of school Ashley wasn't there, Sarah, Madison and Stacey were there but none of them were talking to me. And I guess I can understand that, because I hurt Ashley and Ashley was their friend first. It only makes sense. Thankfully I still have Kyla.

It's lunch time and Kyla and I are walking towards the quad to find a table. We see Madison, Sarah and Stacey all eating together.

"come on" I say to Kyla as I pull her towards the table. As soon as they see me coming they all start to get up and walk away.

"wait!" I call out. They turn around to hear what I have to say. Now I know I won't get to many of these chances, so I better make it good. "look, I know you guys hate me right now, and you don't want me to talk to Ashley. But I love her and I want to make things right… but I can't do that if I can't see her."

"Spencer, she's really hurt" Stacey says.

"I know! And I can't get over how it was my fault. But please I _have _to make this better" I beg. I can see them all glance at each other.

"okay fine, we'll see if we can get her to come to school tomorrow, but there's no guarantee she'll talk to you. We can't even guarantee she'll come."

"thank you! Thank you!" I squeal as I hug each of them. Even Madison. But that hug was a little awkward.

---

The next morning Kyla and I are waiting outside my locker, we're expecting Ashley to come back today… well not expecting, praying. I'm a little nervous. I've paced back and forth in this hallway 28 times now.

29

30

31

"what are you going to say to her?" Kyla asks calmly. How can she be so calm at a time like this? This moment could possibly rekindle or end my relationship with Ashley Davies.

"um, I'm going to say I'm sorry, and that I love her…"

"no, I meant what are you going to say to win her over?"

"that _is_ what I'm going to say to win her over" I say as I stop in the hall and look at Kyla. "oh god! What am I going to say to win her over?!!??!" I yell as I start walking faster now.

"Spencer, calm down. Look just tell her-" she stops in mid sentence. Way to leave a girl hanging.

"tell her what?!" I ask trying to get her attention, but she's looking behind me. I turn around to see Ashley heading this way. Oh my god! What am I going to say?! She walks up to us, but goes to her locker instead of talking to us. She's avoiding me.

"I'll go" Kyla whispers and runs off into the quad to join the rest of the students. They usually hang out there in the morning.

"hey Ash" I say softly. She hears me but she doesn't look at me.

"hi" she says simply, she's not happy.

"I'm glad you came to school today"

"I was dragged here against my will" she states as she grabs a few books from her locker.

"can we talk?"

"we _are _talking"

"right… look about the whole Aiden thing, you have to know-"

"-Spencer, I'm don't really want to do this now" she cuts me off as she shuts her locker and finally looks at me.

"please Ash, look I don't love him, I love you. You need to know that" I say with pleading eyes. At least I hope they're pleading.

"you said you had feelings for him. What kind of girlfriend has feelings for someone else, while they're already dating someone?!" she yells.

"nothing was going to happen. Nothing_ did_ happen. He just wouldn't leave me alone!"

"well apparently he saw hope" she sneers. "you know what? I'm not doing this. Where's Sarah? I'm going home" she says and takes off towards the quad. But I'm not going to let her get away that easily. No way.

"Ashley, stop! What can I do to make everything better? Please, I'll do anything." I say but she doesn't respond. Instead she walks up to Sarah in the middle of the quad.

"take me home, now" she says in an angry tone. Sarah looks at Ashley, then back at me, as if telling me to do something quick. But I can't think of anything.

"Ash… please, don't go. I love you so much!"

"no! you lost the privilege to call me Ash when you broke my heart!" she yells drawing everyone's attention to us.

"When_ I _broke _your _heart?! Ashley, you're the one who broke my heart when you left me alone. I felt like you didn't even love me anymore! I felt so bad. Even after we settled everything down, you still weren't there! I was forced to be by myself on the anniversary of my best friend's death! I felt like fucking shit and you weren't there!"

"how was I supposed to know that he died exactly three years ago that day? Huh?! How was I supposed to know!?"

"you just were!" I yell as loud as possible. "Ashley one of the best parts about our relationship was the fact that even when I put on the fakest smile or tried my best to sound cheery, you could sense something was wrong! I thought if anyone could tell I was hurt that day, it would be you. But _I _was the one who was wrong!"

"look, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you! But none of this erases the fact that you have feelings for someone else! How do you think that makes me feel? I'll tell you! It makes me feel like I'm not good enough! It makes me feel like it doesn't matter what I do, I will never be good enough for you…"

"are you kidding me?" I ask, but don't get an answer. "okay that's it." I take a step up onto the picnic table seat in the centre of the quad, everyone's already watching me, _judging me_. I take a step up onto the top of the table and now I'm looking back at everyone. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"Spencer, get down from there. You're going to pass out again" Ashley warns me angrily. But I can't get down. My legs say yes – run!, but my heart says no – stay!

"Can I get everyone's attention please?" I yell and soon the students are all becoming more and more quiet. Fuck, it's really high. And by high, I mean 2 and half feet off the ground. Yes, I know I'm pathetic. Like I said before, I could only do this if it were for something important. Right now, nothing is more important than Ashley.

"Spencer, get down!" Ashley says, she can see I'm already dizzy. I can hear Madison ask Sarah what I'm doing, but Sarah doesn't answer, because she knows what I'm doing.

"no, I have to do this" I say to her. I look back at my newly formed audience and take a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

"I need to tell everyone here that I love Ashley Davies! I am completely and totally in love with you!" I say looking down at her. "Can't you see Ashley, all I wanted was for you to be there for me! That's all I've ever wanted! I don't need you to buy me lunch, or open my door for me. I don't want you to ditch your friends for me everyday just to hang out. All I want to do is spend a little bit of time with you. Because… I feel like when I wake up in the morning, you're all I can think about. And when I go to sleep I dream that you're right there beside me. Don't you see… all I want is you!"

I can see the tears in Ashley's eyes. Her make up's completely ruined, her hair is a mess from yelling at me, and she's never looked more beautiful.

"so please, Ashley Davies. Will you take me back? I promise to love you and only you forever. If you'll just be there for me" I reach out my hand in front of her, just as she did for me. I can't believe I'm doing this. She pauses and looks at my hand. It's now I start to realize everyone is still staring at me. Watching me. Judging me. God I hate this. Please Ashley, please just take my damn hand so I can get this over with. If she doesn't I think I'll pass out. I close my eyes just to block out everyone, so that I can stand here just a little longer. All I need is her hand. Wait. I feel something. It's warm and it's soft. It's a hand. But it's not just any hand. It's her hand. I open my eyes and I see her hand in mine. I pull her up with me and quickly kiss her hard on the lips and pull her as close to me as possible. I've got my arms wrapped around her body awkwardly, but I don't care. All I know is that my lips and her lips are touching and moving together. It's an amazing feeling. I'd tell you to try it, but Ashley's _my_ girlfriend. My hands are all tangled in Ashley's hair, praying that she won't pull back. But it's not just for her security, but for mine as well. Because I think I'm about to pass out.

Thud.

That was me… falling in love all over again… and passing out. But mostly falling in love.

I wake up, I have no idea how much time has passed, but I suspect it can't be much because I can hear people still clapping from my speech. But all of that doesn't matter. The only thing that matters right now is that my head is in Ashley's lap and her eyes are the first things I see. Every things just… perfect.

**So this was originally supposed to be the end of the story, but then I decided 'Not yet'. So, I still have one more 'big' fight to build up on, then that's it. So there'll probably be a few more chapters. I hope you guys like it. And aren't you happy they're finally back together? I'm done with the Aiden love triangle, but I may leave him as just a friend for Spencer… not sure yet.**

**Anyways I hope you liked it b/c this is probably my favourite chapter so far.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**So I know it's been a couple of days since I've updated, sorry. But here's a long chapter to make up for it. This chapter is rated M, and for a good reason. LOL, enjoy.**

It's been about a week since I passed out in the quad. And I'll tell you now, me in front of crowds – still scares the shit out of me. But so far I've been pretty successful in avoiding crowds and oral presentations. Me and Ashley you ask? Yea we're doing great. Actually, better than great.

I just got a very important letter in the mail, and I know Ashley got one too. Because today's the day most people get theirs. That's right, you guessed it. Today is the day we get our acceptance/rejection letters from our colleges we applied to.

So college is a pretty big deal for me and Ashley, and I'll tell you why. A few weeks ago, before our fight we agreed on something very important.

_FLASHBACK_

So here we are lying in bed, quietly, just enjoying each other's presence. But then I start thinking about something.

College.

But see when I think about college, I think about Ashley, I love her too much to let her go. But what if we want to go to different places? What if Ashl-

"okay stop" Ashley said.

"stop what?" I ask.

"thinking. I can see it in your face. You're doing that thing where you think and then think so much you freak yourself out" She says. This girl is too good.

"but this time is important"

"that's what you always say"

"but it is. Okay so I've been thinking about the future…"

"surprise, surprise" She says sarcastically.

"what college are do you want to go to?"

"uh, the college of _nowhere_" (A/N: get it!? Lol)

"what?"

"I'm not college material" she says. This girl is just as smart as I am.

"oh come on" I say as I sit up in bed. "Ashley, you and I both know you're smart" I say. In fact, she's probably smarter than me, she just doesn't apply herself.

"hey, rock stars don't need a college diploma" she says with a smirk.

"don't get me wrong, I know you'll make an amazing rock star and all but what if you don't become a musician? What if you like, get into some freak accident and you lose your voice permanently. What are you going to do then?"

"all musicians run that risk. But thanks for putting it into my head" she says sarcastically.

"look, all I'm saying is that I think you should go to college as a back up plan… plus I really want to go to college with you"

"where are you planning to go to?"

"uh, Notre Dame is only like, the college of my dreams" I say honestly.

"isn't that place like, really hard to get into?"

"oh please, we could get in there with a little bit of extra work"

"I don't know Spence, I never really planned to go to college…"

"please Ashley, all I want is to be with my girlfriend next year… and how perfect would it be if we could live together and spend the next 4 years together?"

"Spencer…" yes! The guilt trip always works.

"please Ash… I love you" that's right I used the 'love' card. It ALWAYS works, because I don't say it that often. Don't get me wrong, I lover her to death, but I don't want to say those three words and ware down their meaning.

"fine, but I'm only applying to Notre Dame with you and that's it" she warns. But that's all I want.

"thank you, thank you, thank you" I say as I kiss her over and over again.

"yeah, whatever, I'm only doing it for the dorm room we'll be sharing… but I'm only going if we _both _get in" she emphasizes

"oh we'll get in, don't worry" this is perfect.

_END OF FLASHBACK_

So that's how it went down. And today's the day we finally get our letters. I already opened my back up college letters. I got into all of them. But that all means nothing if I don't get into Notre Dame. It's like 7:30am and the mail man just dropped off Ashley's letter, I can tell because I can see it sticking out of her mailbox. I grab it and ring the doorbell. I ring it several times, over and over again, but no one answers it. So instead I open the door with the spare key under the mat and head up to Ashley's room.

I skip into her room and see her sprawled out over her bed, her shirts riding up a little, showing off her stomach and her legs and tangled in the sheets. I lie down beside her and crawl under the sheets with her. I put my head on the pillow and smile at Ashley. She knows I'm here, but it takes a few seconds for her to wake up. She sees my smiling face and slowly lets her eyes flutter open.

"did we… last night?" she asks cautiously.

"yes, and it was amazing" I say with a grin.

"liar" she says softly. She always catches me, but that's okay. We've only had sex once but that'll probably change soon. "so why are you here so early? I'm not late to pick you up am I?"

"no" I say jumping up from the bed and flinging open her curtains. I jump up onto her bed and start jumping until she finally sits up. "guess what I have" I taunt.

"is it sex?" _how can you HAVE sex? It's not like it's an object or something. Whatever._

"no…" I say confusedly. Instead of over thinking it, I show her the letters. "it's our acceptance letters!"

"you mean your acceptance letter and my rejection letter" she corrects me.

I sit back down and face her. "no… I mean our _acceptance_ letters"

"I'm telling you… I'm not going to get in" she warns me as she heads for the bathroom to brush her teeth and stuff.

"oh come on, you don't know that. Just trust me. Next year, it's going to be me and you sharing a dorm room" I say. A couple minutes later she walks out of her bathroom and into her closet. She gets some clothes and decided to torture me by getting dressed in front of me.

"okay whatever you say Spencer…" she says. "let's just get this over with" she says holding out her hand for her letter. Right before I pass it over to her we hear a scream from down stairs. We quickly run out of the room and head towards the stairs to see Kyla standing in the front foyer holding a letter.

"I got in!" she yells and starts dancing. We both laugh at her from upstairs, where we can see her. Well I guess she got into the college she wanted. Before we can open _our _letters Ashley looks down at he watch and sees that we're going to be late for school.

"come on, we have to go" she says grabbing our bags from outside of her room.

"but what about our letters?"

"we can open them at school" she says as she pulls me and Kyla out the front door.

As soon as we arrived at school I started bothering Ashley about our letters.

"come on Ash… I'm dying to know here"

"fine, open your letter then" she says as she pulls some books out of her locker.

"but you have to open yours at the same time… please?"

She lets out a heavy sigh. "… fine, give it here" she says holding out her hand. But just before the envelope can even touch her hands the bell rings. "I guess we'll have to wait till later…" she says with a smile. She knows this is torture for me.

"alright, come on you, we can open the letters later. I promise" she reassures me as she holds out her hand for me to take.

"alright" I pout and place my hand in hers. She smiles at me and I can't help but smile back. She always does that to me.

At lunch Ashley finds me and tells me she has a lunch detention with one of her teachers. I think she's just trying to avoid opening this letter.

"but Ashley…" I whine in my whiniest voice.

"Spencer…" she mocks me back.

"baby I really want to open them now" I say.

"I can't I have to go to my detention. We can do it after school"

"but we have those plans I made for us" ever since last week when she told me 'happy anniversary' I've felt like crap. It was terrible of me to forget. So today I'm making it up to her.

"okay, so we'll do it after our plans" she offers, trying to go to her detention.

"with what I have planned... we'll be up all night" I say slyly. Look at that smirk on her face grow.

"okay well, in that case…. We're going to have to wait a _very _long time to open these letters"

"Ash…" I groan again.

"hey, it's either sex or the letters, it's up to you. And by the way, the letters will still be there tomorrow, but I'm only horny tonight" she whispers into my ear. I know that's a lie… she's horny every night, but I let it go. Tonight's our special night.

"alright, I choose sex" I give in, and she gives me a smile.

"smart choice. But I got to go. Bye baby" she says and gives me a light kiss which I gladly accept. I watch as my girlfriend walks off to her detention. It feels good to be able to call her my girlfriend again.

Okay so I've been planning this anniversary for about a week now. Ever since I fount out I forgot about it I've felt horrible. I mean, I can't believe I forgot. So tonight's not going to be just about me. It's going to be about Ashley. I have a little surprise for her tonight… I hope she likes it.

So in order to get everything perfect I had to start right after school. Starting with leaving Ashley a note in her locker.

(Ashley's POV)

The bell rang and now it's time for me and Spencer to go out. God how I've missed this girl. And tonight we can finally be all alone. I go down to my locker which is right beside hers but she isn't there. Maybe she's just running a little late. I open my locker to put my books away but just as I do a note falls out. Aw look, it's even got a little heart on it.

I unfold the silly girl school note and see Spencer's girl handwriting.

Ashley,

I had to start working on our date, but don't worry this is all part of it. I need you to go home and pick up something from Kyla and Stacey and they'll give you your next note. Can't wait for tonight.

xoxo

-Spencer

I smile to no one but fold up the note and head home. I can't wait for tonight either.

As soon as I get home I'm ambushed by Kyla and Stacey.

"Where the hell have you been? You're late!" Kyla says pulling me up the stairs.

"what are you talking about? I'm 5 minutes early" I drove a little faster knowing I'd get to see Spencer sooner.

"what ever, come on" Stacey says pushing me. "go take a shower and we have your outfit already waiting."

"outfit? Where am I going? Where's Spencer?"

"just do what we say" Kyla says pushing me into my bathroom.

After a quick shower I come out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel and I see Stacey and Kyla sitting on my bed with a black dress in hand.

"a dress?" where the hell am I going that I need a dress?

"get dressed, you have a fancy dinner to get to. Oh and you might also need this…" Kyla said handing over two business cards.

So I've been driving for a few minutes, I figure I have to stop at a certain location before the other. I only say this because Kyla gave me two cards. One to a fancy restaurant where I'm guessing I'm going to meet Spencer, and the other to a flower shop where I guess I'm supposed to get flowers for Spencer. I bet Kyla planned that one.

Once I've picked up the bouquet of pink roses, her favourite, I head on down to the restaurant. I can already see some host standing behind a podium. He must think I look weird holding a bouquet of roses.

"hello Miss, how may I help you?" he asks politely.

"um, I'm looking for someone" I say trying to see in the obviously expensive restaurant.

"boyfriend?" he smiles.

"girlfriend, actually" I smile back. I love surprising people actually.

He clears his throat then looks down at his book. "name?"

"my name or the name of the party?"

"either or" he states.

"um Carlin?" I ask, not too sure. He shakes his head as he searches through the book. "how about Ashley Davies?" I say. He instantly looks up.

"Davies. Excellent, your guests have been expecting you" he says as he escorts me down the hall. What guests? I thought it was just me and Spencer. We turn a couple of corners and he leads me to a secluded area with one booth lit up. I see Spencer sitting on one side of the booth but I cant see the other person because their back is to me. But that's okay, cause I can still see Spencer.

"Ashley" Spencer smiles as she gets up. I hand her the bouquet of roses and give her a quick peck. I can see out of the corner of my eye the host man take off.

"hey baby. That dress looks gorgeous on you" I say as I grab both of her hands in mine and look her up and down. She's got on some gorgeous red dress, which I plan to personally take off later. "I bet it looks even better off of you" I smirk, forgetting there is another person here.

"Ash" she scolds me. I can see her cheeks turn a little red.

"what?" I ask, I see the figure in the booth soon stand up.

"well she_ is_ a Davies" the man says as he steps into the light.

"dad?!" oh my god! It's my dad!... if you didn't catch that already.

"give your old man a hug" he says extending his arms. But I'm already hugging him.

"what are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming till next week!"

"well your girlfriend here called me up and told me it was an important occasion. Plus, it's been a while since I've seen my daughter" he says with a smile. He gives me another hug and we all sit down. Spencer and I sit beside each other and across from my dad. It is our anniversary after all. Or at least it was a week ago.

"So Spencer told me that you two applied to college together?" my dad asks. Oh god, they were talking about us before I got here.

"yeah, we got the letters today but we haven't opened them yet"

"well I'm proud of you kiddo. No one in our family has really gone to college. And I know you want to be a musician like me, but it's really smart of you to have a back up plan" he says taking a sip of his drink. I look over at Spencer, and I know it was all her idea, but she let's me take credit for it. She knows it's a big deal for my dad to say he's proud of me.

After spending a few hours together at the restaurant we all started getting ready to leave. All we were waiting for was for Spencer to come out of the bathroom. So here's me and my dad just spending a few minutes alone together.

"so how're you doing sweetie? Staying out of trouble?"

"as much as a Davies can" I reply.

"that's what I like to hear. What about you and Spencer? Are you guys happy?"

"so happy" I say honestly.

"good. You shouldn't let a girl like that, go without a fight"

"I know. She's amazing isn't she?"

"if she can get my daughter into college, I'd sure call her amazing" he says. I nudge him playfully. "but in all honesty, I'm glad you two are together. She makes you happy, I can see it in your eyes."

"yeah, I just don't want to screw it up with her. I love her too much for that" My dad is the only adult I can actually talk to with stuff like this.

"I know sweetie…" he said pulling me into a sideways hug.

"ready to go?" Spencer asked, popping out of nowhere.

"let's go" I say. After dinner Spencer and I decided to spend the rest of the night alone. My dad went out with Kyla to catch up and Spencer and I came back to my empty house.

"so thank you for tonight…" I start as I shut the door behind us and we start heading upstairs.

"are you kidding me? After I forgot our anniversary it was the least I could do"

"well I don't know if I'm quite over you forgetting it… but I know a way you can make it up to me…" I say slyly.

"oh really? Care to elaborate?" she asked as she pulled me into my bedroom and shut the door behind us.

"maybe I will" I say pushing her towards the bed. But right before I'm about to push her down she spins around me and pushed me down instead.

"or maybe _I_ will" she says with a smirk as she sits down across my waist and leans down to kiss me. I sit up a little so I can reach around her back and slowly start to unzip her dress. She stands up and stares at me as I stare back. Strap by strap the dress slowly falls down to her ankles and she's left in nothing but a bra and panties. She grabs my hand and pulls me to stand also. She stands behind me and starts kissing my neck as she unzips me at the same time. I can feel a shiver run down my spine.

"you're so hot" she whispers into my ear. Oh god, I can't take this anymore. I turn around and put my hands on her waist and pull her closer so I can just kiss her. We fall back down to the bed and crawl under the sheets. Our bodies are pressed so close together I can feel her heart beat against my chest. Or maybe that's just my heart beat pounding through my chest. Whatever.

Her hands go down beneath the sheets and I can feel her tugging at my underwear. She slides them off and down my legs and tosses them somewhere in the room. She buries her head into my neck and continues kissing me as her hand sneaks southward. She starts rubbing me _down there_ and I can feel myself getting hotter and hotter.

"oh god…" I manage to whisper. I can feel her smile proudly against my neck. Without warning, she puts one finger in, then two and then, oh god, three fingers. Oh god… oh wait, I already said that. I can feel her tempo start to speed up and I can barely control my body anymore. I start moaning and groaning loud enough to wake the whole house up, but I quickly silence myself… as best I can.

"it's okay, Kyla's at Stacey's house" Spencer whispers and presses her thumb down on to my clit. I reach the stop and scream as loud as I can. Not just because Kyla's gone, but because it felt amazing. Spencer's hands come to a quick stop and she slowly pulls them out.

I'm still a little tired from you know… my orgasm and all. But I quickly push Spencer flat on her back and straddle her at the waist. But not before taking her panties off first. I grab her hands and drag them up to my bra clad chest and let them rest there. I start moving forwards and backwards where our bodies connect and she starts to lightly moan. The heavier moaning doesn't come later until I push two fingers in her. With the rubbing and the fingers combined Spencer goes over the top within minutes.

I fall back down to my place beside Spencer and we're both spent now. She turns over and smiles at me. I take her hand and kiss the back of it.

"so now that most of our night's over… do you think we could…" Spencer starts but I know she's talking about the letters.

"Spencer Carlin were you using sex to get me to open the letters?" I ask jokingly.

"maybe a little." She says with the cutest grin.

"alright, go get them" I say giving in. She jumps our of the bed – naked, might I add – and runs out into the hall to grab the letters. She obviously planned this. She comes back in – still naked, and still loving it – and jumps back under the sheets. She takes on set of sheets and I take the other so we can sit up in bed, not cold. She hands me the letter and looks down at mine.

"ready?" she asks excitedly.

"ready as I'll ever be" I say as we both tear open our letters. I'm actually more excited but I'm trying to contain it, because there's a pretty good chance I don't get in. I mean I didn't actually start trying hard until this year. I open the letter and read the first few lines.

Dear Miss. Davies,

We are pleased to invite you to become part of the class at Notre Dame College…

I didn't need to read the rest. I freakin' got in! holy shit! "oh my god! I got in!" I yell as I jump up in place. I start jumping up and down to show my excitement. "Spencer! I got in! I actually got in! I can't believe this! Next year, you, me and our own dorm room! Or maybe we should just get an apartment that way we can make as much noise as we want!"

I jump off the bed and run into the closet and I have yet to hear a word from Spencer. "doesn't that sound great Spence?" I ask from inside the closet. "Spencer?" I ask again when I hear no reply. I walk back out of the closet with two Notre Dame sweaters in hand. Yeah I planned this a little. I was only going to bring them out if we got in. I come back to the bed and show her what I have. She looks up and smiles at me and the sweaters.

"everything okay? You got in right?"

"…yeah of course I did" she says with a smile. She takes one of the sweaters and puts it on and then helps me into mine. I give her a quick kiss and push her down.

"I think this calls for a little… celebrating" I say suggestively and I think she's taking this suggestion into consideration.

"mmm, baby, as much as I would love to, I promised my parents I'd tell them as soon as I found out" she says.

"okay well I'll get you the phone." I say reaching across the bed.

"Actually, I'm going to go home and tell them"

"oh… okay" I guess no celebrating tonight. "well just give me a second to get dressed and I'll drive you back"

"no, you know what? Call your dad I'm sure he would love to hear you got in. I'm just going to walk" she says with a genuine smile, so I believe her.

"are you sure?"

"absolutely" she says pulling some pants on that she left here before.

"okay well, this has definitely been the best night of my life" I say as I get up and give her a soft thank you kiss. She pulls back a little too soon for me and leaves. As soon as she walks out my bedroom door I run to get the phone.

"dad? I got in!" I scream into the phone.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**Okay so you all did a really good job guessing everything. Some ppl pretty much guessed right on spot cough XSamXStutterzX** **cough lol. Honestly, you have no idea how many reviews saying "she didn't get in, did she?" So yeah, it's pretty much headed in the direction everyone guessed. So keep on reading!**

I ran practically the whole way home. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't running home to tell my parents about Notre Dame. I was running home so I could be alone in my room. It's kind of late so I know my family's already asleep. I quietly sneak inside and up to my room. The first thing I do is pull off this sweater Ashley got me. It's sweet but it's reminding me of the bad.

I can feel the tears stinging my eyes, threatening to fall. This was my dream, and I blew it. Well sort of. I guess you're wondering what my letter said. Well let me give you the cliff notes version.

I've been wait listed.

That's right. Apparently, I'm good enough to get into the college, but there are other students they want before me. So if a certain amount of students decline Notre Dame I can go, but it's a big risk. And it's not like I don't have other schools to go to, but Notre Dame is my dream. And being there with my amazing girlfriend would just be perfect. But now everything's all fucked up. And there go the first of my tears.

But the reason I'm crying isn't because I got wait listed… well not exactly. See remember how I told Ashley I got in, and well you know… I didn't. And I should have told her that. But she just looked so happy that she got in. And the chances of me getting in are probably slim. But when I saw that letter and the look on Ashley's face, it all brought me back to a few weeks ago when she said that she was only going to Notre Dame if we _both_ got in. And well, I can't take that away from her. She's way too happy. So that's why I lied. If I told her I was wait listed she wouldn't go. And I could never do that to her. I love her too much for that.

But I have no idea what I'm going to do when she finds out. So basically I've screwed myself over. But if I told Ashley, I would have screwed her over too.

Fuck, what do I do?

I pull out my cell phone and start calling Kyla.

"hello?"

"hey, it's me" I start quietly.

"Spencer?" she yells. I can hear the music in the background playing. "hey! Ashley just called and told us about you guys getting into Notre Dame, congratulations"

"yeah, listen I need to talk to you can you ask Stacey if it's alright if I can drop by? I can talk to her too"

"yeah sure, just a second. Here talk to Sarah in the meantime" She says handing the phone over. I didn't know Sarah was there. Well if Sarah's there, Madison's probably there too.

"Spencer, congrats girlie" Sarah says happily.

"uh… thanks" I say. Though I really shouldn't say it.

"so did you and Ashley _celebrate_?" she asks. Only Sarah would ask that. Before I can answer Sarah interrupts. "oh hold on, Kyla's back"

"hey" Kyla says. "Stacey's cool with it, come on by"

"alright thanks, I'll be like 5 minutes"

So to avoid waking my parents up I left the car here. Usually my parents wouldn't mind letting me borrow the car for a few hours, but whenever I did they would always ask a million questions. One of them being where am I going and why, and I just don't feel like explaining that right now. So instead, I'm going to walk, well not walk, run.

I made it there in record time and rang the door bell. Four girls answered the door in their pyjamas and right away could tell I was not happy.

So here we are sitting in Stacey's bedroom, I'm sitting on the bed, not saying anything and the girls are all just sitting on the floor.

"so why are you here and not with Ashley?" Madison asks dealing with the elephant in the room.

Everyone looks at me expectantly and I know this is going to be a long night. "okay so… what I'm about to tell you, can't leave this room."

"you're really a man, aren't you?" Sarah asks jokingly making the other girls laugh.

"okay stop, this is serious guys" they all settle down and wait for me to continue. "so, when I convinced Ashley to apply to ND with me she told me she would only go if I got in too…"

"oh my fucking god! You didn't get in!" Madison yells as loudly as possible. At least I didn't have to say it. Everyone looks back at me and takes my silence as confirmation.

"seriously, you didn't get in?" Stacey asks.

"well, not exactly, I got wait listed… but Ashley doesn't know that yet. She thinks I got in"

"so you lied to her?" Kyla asks. I see Stacey get up from her spot on the floor and head into the closet. She fidgets with a few things and searches for something.

"what are you looking for?" I ask curiously.

"this" she says coming out of the closet with a football helmet. She walks over and hands it to me for some reason.

"a helmet? Why do I need a helmet?"

"for when you try to win Ashley back over, we all know you pass out pretty easily" she says making all of the girls in the room burst out laughing.

"you guys, stop this is serious" I say now pacing back and forth in front of them.

"just tell her you didn't get in" Sarah suggests. "she didn't really want to go in the first place"

"you didn't see the look on her face! She was so happy and excited to go to this school, and I'm not about to take that away from her"

"so then what are you going to do?" Kyla asks.

"I don't know! I mean this could determine the rest of her life, and I don't want that all to be taken away on my account. I could never live with myself if I knew I stopped Ashley from getting a proper education. I mean college is like the building blocks for the rest of your life, right? I just I'm so confused!" I'm starting to feel a little dizzy. All this anxiety is taking a lot out of me.

"Spencer, maybe now's a good time to put the helmet on" Madison suggests. I glare at her, then take a seat on the bed.

"okay look, all you have to do is tell Ashley you didn't get in, but tell her she has to go to Notre Dame with out you, no biggie" Stacey suggests.

"have you seen how stubborn Ashley is, especially when it comes to Spencer" Kyla says. "there's no way she'd go with out her, not as long as they're together"

My head shoots up at Kyla and an idea pops in my head, I look at Sarah and she knows what I'm thinking.

"I-I've got to go" I say getting up. I try to get out of the house as soon as possible but Sarah starts chasing after me.

"Spencer, don't do it" she says angrily as I walk out of the house and down Stacey's drive way.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I say clenching my jacket around my body even tighter.

"no, I know what you're going to do! And you can't be this stupid!"

"Sarah, don't even start. What other choice do I have?!"

"just do anything, anything besides this! If you do this, she'll never talk to you again!"

"that's just the risk I'm going to have to take then…" I say throwing my arms up in the air and walking away. I walk over to Ashley's house and all of the lights are off so I know she's sleeping. I enter her house silently, thanking god that they don't have an alarm system. I go up to her room quietly, even though there's no one else in the house. I enter her room and I can see her sleeping in her ND sweater. She genuinely looks happy. I take off my shoes and jacket and slip under the sheets beside her. She starts moving around and she can tell someone else is in the bed. Her eyes crack open the slightest bit and she can see me.

"Spencer?" she mumbles.

"yeah, I'm here baby" I say softly, pushing some hair out of her face as she sleeps. She wraps one of her arms around my waist and pulls me closer.

"today was perfect… I love you" she whispers with her eyes close, obviously drifting back asleep.

"I love you too" I say as soft as possible. I get comfortable and start to slowly trying to fall asleep in her arms, knowing that tomorrow I'm going to have to break her heart.

**Okay, bring on the flames/love, I can take it.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

**Okay so this is the shortest chapter by far, but it's got SO MUCH in it. I hope you like it, but I know you won't. And I'm not sorry. lol**

I didn't sleep at all last night. I stayed up the whole night just watching Ashley. I don't know how I'm going to do this. The only way she's going to go to Notre Dame without me, is if she isn't dating me. So that's what I have to do, I have to break up with her. There's no other way. I never thought it would come to this.

Ashley starts moving around a little underneath the sheets and pulls me in a little closer. I smile because I know even when she's asleep she wants to be with me. Soon enough her eyes slowly start to open and she smiles at me.

"hey beautiful" she says as she comes closer for a simple kiss.

"h-hey you" I didn't mean to stutter but I'm scared shitless on how I'm going to do this.

"what's wrong?" damnit, sometimes I love how she can read me, sometimes I hate it. This is one of those hate times.

"nothing" I try shaking off but she doesn't believe me.

"Spencer, tell me what's wrong."

"_I-I can't…"_

"yes you can, just tell me" she says softly as she caresses my face. Oh god, this is killing me.

"no. I mean I _can't_…"

"can't what?" she asks me. Here it comes. I'm going straight to hell for this.

"I… can't be with you anymore" I say just above a whisper. I can't bring myself to look into her eyes. Because I know if I do I'll just see all the sadness and hurt I'm causing.

"what do you mean?" she asks taking her hand away from my face. My face seems so cold now.

"I mean… I can't go to college with you, I can't be in love with you, and I just… can't be with you" oh god, I'm crying now. And I know I won't be able to stop for a long time.

"Spencer, why are you doing this?" she asks, she's on the brink of crying too. "I thought this is what you wanted… me and you going to college together?" the hurt in her voice is obvious.

"I changed my mind, I'm sorry I-I j-just can't" I say getting out of bed and heading for the door. I still haven't looked into her eyes.

"no!" she yells closing the door shut before I can get out. "tell me why! Tell me why you can't be with me! Tell me why we can't spend the rest of our lives together. Because I know I love you Spencer, and I know you love me! But I _don't_ know why you're doing this" she's blocking my way to the door still. I try ignoring her and pushing her out of the way, but she pushes me back lightly trying to get me to stop. I can't look in her eyes but I can see her tear stained face. I hate it when I hurt people like this. Especially her.

"move Ashley"

"no" she says angrily.

"move"

"no!" she yells back. "why are you doing this to me?! Just tell me why!"

"I can't!" I yell back.

"look, if it's something I did, I'm sorry! Just please, don't leave me!" oh my god, the tears won't stop and I can see Ashley just falling apart right before my eyes. She sinks down to the floor against the back of her door.

I kneel down in front of her and grab her face in my hands. "Ashley, listen to me. I need you to do something for me. Just forget about me. Move on. Go to college and fall in love. You are an amazing girl. And you're too good to spend your time with me. One day you're going to meet the perfect girl, but that girl… isn't me. Please just promise me you'll forget about me and move on…"

"I can't do that Spencer. I love _you._ Isn't that enough for you?" Her love for me is more than enough. I don't even understand how she can ask that. Oh wait, I can, because I'm breaking her heart. Oh god, this is breaking my heart now.

"I'm sorry, I-I just can't. Go to college and just forget about me Ashley…" I get up and go back to the bed to get my jacket.

"I won't do that" she says, I turn around and she walking towards me.

"you have to" I say through sobs. I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

"no. And I won't" she states. Her hands wrap around my waist and try to pull me closer, but I know if I get too close I won't be able to leave. So I push her hands away and look down at the floor. She tries to pull me closer again, but I push her hands away. This time she grabs my head and pulls me in for a kiss. I know she thinks it's going to change my mind, but it isn't. I won't let it. But before long I'm pulling back.

"stop" I say through the sobs. It's so hard to breathe. It's like someone sucked all of the oxygen out of the room.

"why are you doing this to me?" I put on my coat and start heading for the door, not giving her an answer. "I love you, and I know you love me. Just say you love me and I'll forget about all of this. Say you love me and we can do what ever you want. Please, just say you love me and we can go to college together and be happy just like your dreamt…"

"I'm sorry, I just can't..." I start. I know it's my dream, but after all she's gone through, she deserves something just for her. There's only one way to end this horrific moment for both of us. There's just one thing I have to say and it'll all be over.

"… I don't love you"


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

**A/N: Warning for swearing. A lot. lol**

I left Ashley in her room and now I'm heading down the stairs, just as I'm about to walk outside the door opens and Sarah and Kyla walk in. Oh shit. I'm still crying and I know Sarah knows what happened.

They freeze and watch me.

"Spencer, what's wrong?" Kyla asks me, but I just ignore her and walk outside. Kyla heads up stairs and Sarah follows me and turns me around.

"please, don't tell me you did it" Sarah begs.

"I had to…"

"no you didn't! You stupid bitch!" I don't think I've ever been called that, but I guess I deserve it. "Can't you see that she is in love with you?!"

"…"

"Spencer, you don't even realize what you've done now! I hope your happy…" she spits out.

"happy? Don't fucking start with me Sarah!" I yell back. "this is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. She wasn't the only one in love. But this was the only way!"

"no it wasn't!" she yells. "you don't even know if you got in or not! There's still time!"

"Sarah, just give it up already. You and I both know I'm not going to get in, and Ashley wouldn't have gone without me!"

"so you break her heart? Spencer, that girl is never going to get over you"

"well she has to now…" I say and walk away.

(no POV)

Sarah walks back to the Davies mansion and quickly heads up stairs to see Kyla talking to a door.

"Ashley, come out, please" Kyla begs.

"screw off" Ashley yells back harshly.

"hey, what's going on?" Sarah asks Kyla.

"she won't come out, and I heard some sort of glass break… what happened with Spencer?"

"nothing, look let me try" Sarah says. "Ashley, sweetie? Open up the door, it's Sarah" Sarah said hoping she'd open the door for her best friend.

"just leave me alone!" Ashley yells. Sarah tries the door knob, but it's obviously locked. She hears things inside the room being thrown around and fears for Ashley. She takes out a pin from her hair and jiggles the lock. The door swings open and Sarah runs into find Ashley. She sees books, clothes and other various object thrown about the room.

"Ashley?!" Sarah yells, she runs into the closet, but Ashley steps out of the bathroom.

"get the fuck out" Ashley says angrily pointing to the door. Kyla immediately starts heading for the door, but Sarah doesn't move. "Sarah, I'm really not in the mood right now"

"look, I know what Spencer did. And I'm sorry sweetie… you deserve better" she says. She knows why Spencer did it and could tell Ashley, but that's not up to her. She's pissed at Spencer, but knows it's her responsibility to deal with it.

"you don't understand! She was the 'better'!" Ashley yells. "_she was everything_. She's the reason I'm even going to this school. I don't want to let her go… I just can't" Ashley says finally breaking down in Sarah's arms.

"I know Ashley… I know…" Sarah says hugging Ashley as tight as possible, even though it still doesn't feel like it's enough. She just wants to let Ashley know that someone is there for her.

Later that morning Ashley had cried herself to sleep and Sarah silently snuck out of her room. Just as she was shutting the door she turned around to see Kyla.

"what happened to her?" Kyla asked.

"she and Spencer had a fight"

"well I can see that" Kyla stated. "over what?"

"what do you think?"

"did she tell her that she didn't get in?"

"not exactly…" Sarah started hesitantly. "she broke up with Ashley because she knew if she told her she wouldn't want to go without her"

"is she crazy?" Kyla said heading for the door.

"where are you going?" Sarah asked holding Kyla back.

"to tell Ash. She shouldn't have to go through this pain"

"I know, but it's not for us to tell Ashley. Look just let her sleep it off for now…"

(Ashley's POV)

Fuck, all this crying makes it feel like I have a hang over. What time is it? I look over at the clock and it says 6:33pm. I can't believe I slept all day. But I'm up now. I don't even want to think about this morning. Everything was just perfect until it all came crashing down.

Okay you know what, I'm not even going to think about this.

I get up, and head down stairs. I can see Kyla and Sarah sitting in the kitchen casually talking.

"Ashley" Kyla states making Sarah turn my way. I look at them but don't say anything. I don't want to talk, because if I do they're going to ask me about this morning and then I'm going to be in tears again. And I won't let that happen. I'm done crying over someone who doesn't love me. I open the fridge door and pull out a bottle of water.

"how are you feeling?" Kyla asks. I look at her and take a sip of my water.

"you want to go out and grab some food?" Sarah asks me. I put the cap back on my water and shut the fridge door and turn around back the way I came.

"Ashley, sweetie, come on, you haven't eaten yet today, why don't you go get dressed and we'll go out" Sarah suggests. I freeze, she has a point. Maybe I should go out. But I'm not going out with them. I look at them and walk up stairs, leaving them thinking I'm going to come back down and go out with them. Instead I get dressed and sneak out my window. I quickly get in my car before they notice I'm gone. I start up the engine and turn my music on. Just as I'm about to go away I see Sarah coming outside to chase after me. But instead of waiting to be caught, I put my convertible in gear and speed out of the drive way, leaving everyone and everything behind.

I'm not sure why I'm here, but I am. I'm at Grays. They've always treated me right. I make my way through the dancing crowd and straight to the bar. I order up a couple of shots of tequila with the help of my trusty fake I.D. and I down them. I wait a second to get over the burning feeling of the alcohol and make my way to the dance floor. There's a few things I always need to get over a girl. One of them being spending time alone, check. Another being alcohol, check. The third being a girl to dance with. And there's one now. She's probably the sluttiest dancer in the club and obviously half way smashed. She's perfect. A little buzzed and obviously willing to experiment, which is where I come in. I push my way through the crowd and start dancing with her, we're dancing as close as possible. And she's obviously happy. Within minutes, my lips are attached to hers and soon they're making their way down her neck. Another few minutes pass and before I know it, I'm pulling her towards the bathroom. The only way to get over _someone_, is to get under _someone else_. And that's exactly what I intend to do.

Say hello to the old Ashley.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

** Okay, so i really like this chapter, cuz it's got a slight twist to it. lol enjoy.  
**

About 20 minutes later I stepped out of the bathroom, thoroughly satisfied, if you know what I mean. I start heading back to the dance floor to see what other damage I can do, when I see Sarah, and Madison at the bar, talking to the bartending. She's probably asking her if she's seen me tonight. And before I know it, the bartender is pointing right at me. Fuck, I've been caught. Time to turn on my _cat-like_ moves. I take one step and nearly fall over my own feet. I try heading for the door when Kyla and Stacey come up from the side.

"Ashley, there you are!" Sarah says as she and Madison make their way over to me. "I thought we were going out for dinner or something"

"I had other plans…" I smile fakely. Before anyone else can say anything the girl I just screwed come out of the bathroom and swagger over to me. Damn, she looks hot. I turn around ignoring my friends and smile back at her.

"call me anytime" she whispers into my ear as she slips a piece of paper in my shirt, somewhere in my bra, and walks away. I turn around to my friends acting like nothing happened.

"so who's taking me home?" I ask, because knowing them, they probably think I had a shit load of alcohol to drink. But I only had a couple of shots. But even I know it's stupid to drink and drive. No one answers me so I toss my keys to Sarah and start walking out of the club.

On the ride home it's relatively silent as Sarah drives. She keeps glancing over at me and I know she's about to start speaking any minute. She opens her mouth but then shuts it quickly.

"what?" I say with attitude.

"why are you doing this?"

"doing what?"

"pretending to be someone who you're not" she states.

"this_is_ who I am." I say turning my head to look at her. "this is who I was 2 months ago, and it's who I still am"

"Ashley, you and I both know this isn't who you are anymore. You changed when Sp-"

"-do not say her name" I spit out. "don't ever say _her_ name again" I say venomously and she quickly shuts up. But before I know it she started back up again.

"Ashley, don't do this to yourself. Next year you'll be off at college and everything's going to be different" she reassures me. But I don't want things to be different. I want things to be back the way they were yesterday. Yesterday was the best day of my life. Today… today was probably the worst.

(Spencer's POV)

She hates me. I know it. She should hate me. Hell, even I hate me. But this was the only way, right? I know, I know, you all think I'm some horrible bitch who deserves to burn in hell, and it may be true. But I'm a bitch who has a happy ex-girlfriend. Or at least, she will be happy when she gets over me. It's just going to take a little time. Okay, a lot of time. Whatever.

Before you know it, she's going to have a girlfriend, just watch.

That's not going to happen is it? No, I didn't think so. But I can't exactly turn everything back around now, can I? Well I could, but all that pain and hurt I put her through would be for nothing.

The next few days at school have been just… I don't even know how to describe it. I don't even go to first period anymore. Because I know Ashley's there. And it would just start something. Something bad. But at lunch I don't even sit with her. I don't sit with any of them. They all hate me. Even Kyla hates me. And they should.

So now that I miss period one everyday I sleep in a little and just wait in the quad until period two starts. There's always the same people in here. Probably all of the people who have a free period or are just skipping. I'm not really worried. My mark is pretty good in English so I can afford to miss a few days of school. Though if my parents found out they would probably kill me.

Ashley, being the socialite and most well known girl in school, has a few problems. As do I. Since everyone knows who she is and everyone knows her business and now they know mine. So they know that we're no longer together. Let me tell you, it spread like wild fire when everyone found out. I'm surprised all the cell phones in the school didn't explode from the mass text messaging. So it doesn't matter where I go, everyone is always looking at me. Like this girl right now. She's sitting a few tables down from me, and I'm trying to block everything out with my music, but she's still staring at me. She's probably just a fellow senior trying to avoid class like the rest of us. She certainly looks old enough, if not older. I try ignoring her, but it doesn't work. Wait, is she smiling at me? Oh god, she's trying to pick me up. Doesn't she know I just got out of a serious relationship… that was only 2 months long… okay it may not seem serious but it is… was.

The girl gets up casually and grabs her shoulder bag, she makes her way over to me but I try to keep my head down.

"Hey. Spencer right?" she asks not too sure. But she and I both know she knows my name. I ignore her right off the bat and continue with my music. "I'm Natasha" she says holding out a hand. I don't even bother to look at her. I just keep on ignoring her, praying that she'll go away soon. She takes a seat next to me without even asking, but I don't say anything.

"didn't you used to date A-" she starts but I quickly glare at her and she catches my very obvious hint to shut the hell up. "okay… never mind. Look I just came over here to see if you wanted to go grab a coffee with me or something…"

She's honestly trying to ask me out?

Before I can answer she keeps on talking. "I don't really feel like going to second period, and by the look on your face you probably don't even want to be at school today…" She says. She has a point. Just then the bell rings letting the period one classes out. I see Ashley and Stacey come out of the English class room and they're looking at me.

"so what do you say?" she says extending a hand for me to take. I look at Ashley and she's watching this girl hit on me. She's not going to get over me unless she sees me moving on. So I do what any other_bitch of an ex-girlfriend who's going to burn in hell_ would do.

"sure, let's go" I say grabbing her hand and walking towards the parking lot, still holding her hand.

So we take my car down to the nearest Starbucks, which is actually pretty close, we probably could have walked. But I didn't know that. We order up a couple of coffees and sit down at a nearby table. We get into talking about general things, nothing specific or intimate or even personal. She's an okay person, but she's definitely not my type. I'm just here for Ashley. Which seems really weird actually. About 15 minutes into our conversation a couple of unexpected guests show up. Sarah and Madison. They don't even bother ordering coffee because we all know they're here for me.

"fuck" I whisper.

"what?" Natasha asks. But before I can reply Sarah and Madison walk over to our table. Natasha looks up at them and they look down at her, scowling.

"um, I think I'm just going to go to the bathroom…" she says and gets up and leaves. I don't even look up at them, I'm just playing with the lid on my coffee.

"so that's your plan, put her down and just keep kicking her _while_ she's down?" Sarah asks.

"I'm not going to discuss this here" I say very business like.

"well that's too bad, because we are" Sarah says.

"what are you even doing with her?" Madison asks referring to Natasha. "you do realize she's-"

"-okay, that doesn't even matter." Sarah cuts her off. "what matters is that you really hurt Ashley. She barely talks anymore thanks to you and she just won't get over you"

"well why do you think I'm here. If she sees me moving on, she'll finally realize it's over."

"But it's not over. And you know it" Madison says. "it'll never be over. Not for her, at least."

"well it's over for me, so it's over for her" I say.

"you keep telling yourself that Spencer. But we all know that you love her too much to let her go"

And with that Natasha has perfect timing and decides to come back. Sarah and Madison give her one last dirty look and take off.

"sorry about that. That was just-"

"Madison and Sarah? Yeah I know, everyone knows" she says with a light smile. There's something about this girl. It's not a spark or anything like that, it's just like there's this message flashing in my head, but I can't see what it says just yet. Oh wait, it's becoming clearer and clearer. Yes. This sign is telling me… she's not Ashley. This whole getting over Ashley thing is a lot harder than I anticipated.

"yeah…"

"so what was that about?"

"uh, nothing… just forget about it. So what-" oh you've got to be kidding me. Kyla just walked in.

"what?" Natasha asks, following my gaze. She turns around to see Kyla, and she knows that's Ashley's sister. Kyla spots me and starts walking in my direction and Natasha knows the drill. "how about I go get us some more coffee" she says and gets up. Kyla smiles to her as she walks by, as a thank you, and sits down in her seat.

"what? No Stacey too?" I ask jokingly.

"Spencer, what the hell is wrong with you?" she asks harshly. Here we go again.

"Kyla, you know why I did this. You would do the same thing for someone you loved."

"first of all, Natasha? Don't you know that she's… you know what never mind. Second, no. No I wouldn't do this to someone I loved. Spencer, it's like you ripped out her soul. It's like she has no life in her. She's just another girl in the world. You know she went down to Grays after you broke up with her."

That caught my attention. I look up at Kyla and urge her to go on.

"yeah, she got drunk and hooked up with the first random girl she found" that's so not what I wanted.

"look, I didn't mean for that to happen but-"

"-but it did" Kyla says. "if you care for her, you won't let this continue"

"she'll get over it"

"she's going to drink herself into an oblivion if you don't do anything about it." Thankfully before Kyla can continue to rant on, Natasha comes back with our coffees. I have to say this girl has impeccable timing.

"we have to go" I say to Kyla and turning Natasha in the other direction so we can leave.

Back at school, it was still period two and Natasha and I were still hanging out. Sarah and Madison had taken over watching Ashley while Stacey was sitting by herself in the quad just doing work. As soon as I saw her I started to pull Natasha in another direction, but Stacey saw us.

"Spencer" she calls out. I might as well face her now, because I know she's gong to find me eventually.

"sorry, do you mind if we just stop by one more person?" I ask Natasha.

"Sure, do you want me to give you a minute or…"

"no, come with me. I might need some protection" I say nicely. That's probably the nicest I've been since… the break up. We walk over to Stacey and she smiles, but then chuckles a little when she sees who I'm with.

"something funny?"

"why are you hanging out with _her_?" Stacey asks a little rudely.

"why do you care?" She ignores my rudeness and continues to laugh.

"do you even know who she is?"

"yeah…" I say like it's obvious.

"It's Natasha right?" Stacey asks pointing a pencil at the girl beside me.

"yeah" she says adjusting the strap to her bag.

"thought so… Spencer, do you even know how old this girl is?" Stacey asks me.

"I don't know 18… 19?" does it really matter? Upon hearing my response Stacey starts laughing louder and I can see Natasha start to turn red. What is she older? Maybe she's a student teacher or something. I don't really care.

"Spencer, Natasha's not that old" Stacey starts and all I think is oh crap. "… she's a freshman"

"fuck me" I say. "you're 14?" I practically yell.

"yeah, but I'm mature for my age!" she says unconvincingly.

"jesus! I thought you were my age or something, not fucking 14! Natasha I'm 18 years old. That's not even legal!"

"we just went out for coffee. Last time I checked, a date wasn't illegal."

"oh, but you haven't even heard the best part" Stacey adds with a hearty laugh. Oh my god, there's more!?

"Spencer, say hi to Natasha Arnold… Mrs. Arnold's daughter. The one that Ashley kissed"

"no!" I yell in disbelief. You've got to be kidding me. Mrs. Arnold's daughter? Could it get any worse? "please tell me she's kidding" I beg Natasha.

"look Spencer-" fuck, it's true.

"-no. Just… go. I can't believe you didn't tell me all of this!" I yell, but before I get even more mad she takes off.

The events of today have all led me to one conclusion… I can't help but think one thing: My life is so fucked up. Correction: My life is so fucked up… without Ashley.

**Okay, so this chapter was kind of pointless – depending on how you look at it. But I really liked writing it. So I have ONE more chapter left. And that's it. I know. tear.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**So this is it… the FINAL chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading my story. And I want to thank all the readers and reviewers who stuck with me the entire time. 3**

You know that feeling of anxiety you get sometimes? That feeling like there's a million butterflies just flying around in your stomach? Well I've come to a conclusion. These butterflies only come around on a few select occasions. Sometimes they come around common things like when you're going down a hill on a rollercoaster, sometimes they come at the most random times like when you're meeting new people.

Sometimes it even comes when you fall in love.

The last few days have been… different to say the least. I've pretty much been under house arrest thanks to my friends. My dad's already gone back on tour. He doesn't know that Sp_- that girl,_ and I have split. He doesn't even know that I've been drowning my sorrows in liquor, but then again no one does. I go to school, I come home and I lock my self in my room. The keys to my cars have been taken away from me, courtesy of my friends. So the only thing I can do is sneak out of my house and walk down to the liquor store. I'm sure they know by now, just haven't said anything. Sometimes I'd sneak out of Gray to go pick up some girl, but Grays is kind of far, so I don't do it that often. I guess that's why they took away my cars. But once a day, just once, someone comes into my room. Like now…

The door opens without a knock and Sarah comes in and does a sweep of my room. She picks up all of the beer bottles and tequila bottles around the room. I just lay down on my bed and watch her. She's about to walk out and shut the door when she stops.

"when are you going to stop wasting your life away?" she spits out. I look at her but don't answer. I know that if I keep ignoring her she's eventually going to go away. "you're letting one girl get in the way of your life. Just stop being so ridiculous and get on with it."

"just… get out Sarah" I say. I see her drop the empty bottles she's carrying on the floor and walk over to me.

"Ashley, I know you feel like shit right now, but when is it going to end? You and her are over, but that doesn't mean the world has stopped. It doesn't mean that you can just go out, get drunk and hook up with some stranger. The world is still out there. Life is still going and it won't stop. That's why you have to keep going with it!"

"what if I don't want to keep going with it?! What if I just want it to end?" Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. I just miss my girlfriend a lot. Ex-girlfriend, I mean.

"don't be stupid" she says getting up and heading back for the door.

"Sarah, just leave me alone. You don't know how I feel…"

"no, but I know someone who does" she says and walks out my door, leaving the bottles behind.

(Spencer's POV)

I was lying here peacefully on my bed… okay that was a lie. My head is swarming with thoughts of _her_, and it just won't stop. So anyways, I was lying here not-so-peacefully on my bed when my phone started ringing. I'm surprised. No one's called me for days. I look down at the caller I.D. and see it's Sarah. Great, more yelling.

"yeah?" I answer, not even bothering to say hello.

"we need you"

"who's we?"

"all of us. Me, Madison, Kyla, Stacey… Ashley"

"no" I say as soon as I hear her name.

"Spencer get your ass down here!" I hear Kyla yell in the background.

"I'm not going down there. Deal with your own problems"

"that's the thing. They're not our problems. They're _yours_. Yours and Ashley's. So like that being said... come down here and fix your damn problem"

"no"

"Spencer, don't make me drag you down here myself. You have to stop all of this"

"no" I repeat a little more harshly.

"Spencer, so help me god, if you don't come down here and tell her, _I will_"

"Sarah, it's not yours to tell" She better not tell her. It'll screw up everything.

"you have one hour to come down here and tell her. If you don't make it by then I'll tell her and no one's going to Notre Dame, got it? Good" she says and hangs up on me.

What choice do I have?

Within 10 minutes I'm over at Ashley's house, not bothering to use the doorbell. I just walk in. I used to spend more time at this house than half of these people did. Instead of going upstairs to talk to Ashley, I head for the kitchen, because I know they're in there.

"so you came" Sarah says making everyone turn their heads to look at me.

"don't get your hopes up. I came to talk to you guys, not Ashley" I say.

"fine, if that's the way it's going to be,_ I'll_ tell her" Sarah says as she gets up from her seat to walk passed me. But before she gets anywhere I stop her in her path.

"wait" I say placing a had on her shoulder to stop her. "why can't you guys just see this is for the best?"

"because it's not, Spencer" Stacey says.

"if you look at Ashley right now, on the outside you'll see a messed up girl not knowing what to do with her life. But on the inside this girl is totally and completely in love with you. No one has ever been able to do this to her. In all of the time I have known her, I have never seen her so broken up over someone. And let me tell you, she's been with a lot of girls. But you're the first girl to make her truly fall in love" Sarah says.

"what about you? She said she loved you" I argue.

"she loved me, but she wasn't in love with me. That was more of an infatuation crossed with a school girl crush. Don't get me wrong. I love that girl. But you're the girl that she's _in _love with and you're the girl she can't live without. And at this point, it looks like she's not going to make it much longer. She's been doing nothing but drinking and screwing with other girls since you broke her heart. So for us, and for Ashley _and_ yourself, please just solve this problem"

I pause to think, they're all staring at me waiting for my answer. And to tell you the truth, I have no idea what the hell to do. I guess I'm going to have to go up there and act tough. I wonder how long that'll last.

"please Spencer, just tell her you only broke her heart so she would go to Notre Dame"

Without another word I leave the kitchen and they all watch as I slowly make my way to the stairs but I stop and they watch me as we all see Ashley sitting at the top of the stairs. She must have heard everything.

"Ashley…" I breathe out. She's got her hands pressed together in a ball against her face. She's not even looking at me.

"please tell me they're lying" she says.

"… they're not" I figure I've done enough lying for now. She shakes her head angrily at me and gets up to go back to her room.

(Ashley's POV)

Why? Why would she do that? Does she not realize she's just playing with my feelings? Stringing me along like some puppet. I can't believe she did that.

The door opens and Spencer slowly walks in. She looks around the room and sees the mess I created. Her mood quickly changes from sad and guilty to angry and more guilty. She walks around and picks up some of my liquor and beer bottles. I don't say a word to her and I know it's killing her.

"look I didn't mean to hurt you…" she starts. What a bad opening line.

"oh really? So when you said that you didn't love me, you meant it in a good way?" I say sarcastically.

"look Ashley, just get on with your life, go out and have fun and go to Notre Dame. Sarah's probably willing to go take you out right now. So just get dressed" she says with a voice still full of anger.

"no!" I yell now. I don't even know why I'm yelling. "get out of my room, get out of my house, in fact get out of my life!" She hurt me. She doesn't get to yell at me.

"I will once you get dressed" she says standing in front of me, not budging.

"no, you know what? I think I'd rather have another drink" I say pulling an almost empty vodka bottle open. I'm about to take a sip in front of her when she grabs the bottle and throws it against the wall making it shatter to pieces. Just like she did my heart a few days ago.

"is that what you want? To create a mess of your life? Cause if you do, just let me help!" she yells grabbing a random beer bottle and smashing it against the wall.

"what are you doing?! Stop!" I scream. She looks at me in anger and throws another bottle. I've never seen Spencer act like this. "stop it! You're scaring me!"

"good!" she yells, staring directly at me. "… because you're scaring me" she says more quietly. I stare at her with tears stained eyes and realize what she's trying to do. I sit down on my bed and just stare at the floor. I don't know what to say at this point. She kneels in front of my and puts both of her hands on my bare knees. I forgot what her skin feels like on mine. I miss it so much.

"Ashley stop this please. Everyone's worried… including me" she still won't look me in the eyes. I used to love staring into her eyes.

"why?"

"because your drinking is getting out of hand"

"No. I mean why did you break up with me?" I ask, but she doesn't answer me. I know it's because she wanted me to go to Notre Dame, but it just doesn't make any sense. Instead she just bites her lip and tries to avoid it. "Spencer, please… I need to know why, because…" I need closure. But I don't say that. "I just need to know"

"did you call to accept your offer to Notre Dame yet?" She asks changing the subject.

"no. I'm not going" I say.

"what do you mean you're not going?! Ashley, pick up that damn phone and tell them you're going to that school"

"no. I don't want to! Why are you so hung up on me going to Notre Dame anyways? It's not like we're going to be together."

"Fuck, Ashley! I gave up everything for you to go to this school!"

"excuse me? _You_ gave up everything?! What the fuck did you give up?"

"I gave up_ you_! You are my _everything…_ but you wouldn't go if I didn't get in…"

"but you did get in! and then you broke my fucking heart because of it!"

"Ashley!" she yells, but quickly quiets down. "I-I didn't get in. And I needed to tell you I got in so that you would go! That look on your face when you found out - was a look I had never seen before. You were just so happy when you found out and I just couldn't take that away from you. I couldn't take away that happiness."

I can't believe she did this. All of this. It's an amazing gesture… but she still doesn't get it.

"Spencer don't you see?! YOU are my happiness. I was happy because when I got in, it meant I got to spend the next 4 years of _my_ life with _you_, if not longer! That, that was what made me so happy. I worked so hard to get into that school because I thought that's what you wanted. I would do anything for you because I love you. You've always been there for me and I would never want to leave your side. I never wanted to go to college or get a degree or anything like that. I just wanted to be a musician. But when you came into my life everything changed. I put you before my dreams because that's what I wanted. All I want is you…"

"…"

"do you remember when I gave you this?" I ask her, holding up her wrist with the purple venom bracelet on it.

"how could I forget? It was the day you asked me to first be your girlfriend" she says with that amazing smile of hers, even though she has tears in her eyes. I hate to see her cry.

"and noticed how I haven't asked for it back? It's because I still love you. And I know you still love me because you haven't given it back either. Spencer, just please let it all go. We'll figure something out for our future."

"but you bought those sweaters, and your dad was so proud of you…" she tries to argue, but fails miserably.

"all for you. My dad being proud of me was just an extra bonus. Spencer, I love you, but my future means nothing if you're not in it…"

"j-just promise me one thing…"

"anything"

"promise me you'll go to Notre Dame, please…" she's begging me to go to this school but I don't want to go without her. But I know she and I won't be together unless I go without her.

"… I promise" I give in.

"thank you" she says letting out more tears. I hold her face in mine and use my thumbs to brush away her tears. She's too beautiful to cry.

"I love you" I say simply.

At this moment she finally takes the time to look up from her spot on the floor and into my eyes. She actually stares into my eyes for the first time in days. God how I have missed those piercing blue eyes.

"I love you too" she whispers. That's all I ever wanted to hear. And that's all I need to know if we want this relationship to last. I place my hands on the sides of her face and slowly pull her up for that long lasting kiss. Both of us with tears in our eyes, but never happier.

Yep, there's the butterflies.

(Spencer's POV)

So Ashley and I are back together, and we will be for a long time. And guess what? I didn't even need the helmet. But I can guarantee you we're not going anywhere without each other. Because I sure as hell am not ready to let her go. Not now, not ever. So it turns out I didn't get into Notre Dame, and I know it was my dream and all and I should be devastated. But it's okay. Because I have a new dream. To one day move into an apartment with my girlfriend, and then we'll see what happens from there. Okay, so since I didn't get into Notre Dame I decided to go to my back up school; Indiana University. It isn't too far from Ashley so it's all good. I'm living in a dorm on campus and so is she, just on her campus. Kyla got in to UCLA along with Stacey, Madison and Sarah… oh and Beth too, but it's her second year.

Speaking of Beth, we had to get Sarah a little present for helping us. Needless to say, she was ecstatic when Beth came into town. We tried our best to keep them out of the bedroom, but it was no use. Oh and how can I forget, one of the best parts about living in Indiana is that Ohio is the next state over, so I could go home and visit some old family and friends every so often. I even get to visit Patrick's grave every once in a while. I have to say, my life turned out pretty amazing. I guess I have Ashley to thank for that.

The kids at my old school say I'm unobtainable. Even my best friend used to tease me about it. They'd all say it's easier to just give up on me than to date me. But do you know what I say? I say … you're all _wrong_. Because let me tell you, I have my girl, I have my friends and I have a love that will last a life time. We've been through a lot of stuff, most stuff normal couples wouldn't go through. Okay well that's a lie, I'm sure a lot of couples go through things like another person liking someone in a relationship, or going separate ways at college. But I like to think we're special. Why? Just because I said so. It wasn't me who was unobtainable, it was having a relationship with this much love that was almost unobtainable… almost.

The End.

**So that's it. Tell me EVERYTHING, tell me if you liked it or hated it… be completely honest. **

**So this will be the only time that I actually **_**ask**_** people to review, just cause I want to hear all of your thoughts. If they're stupid, bring them on, if they're hurtful, bring them on, but try not to make it too hurtful. Lol. I'm just looking for any and all kinds of feedback. 3**

**Also, I have an idea for a new story for all of you spashley fans out there, tell me what you think. The summary is something like: Spencer's parents put on a brave face when they tell her they're okay with her sexuality, but instead they cook up a plan and hire a lesbian to scare Spencer out of being gay. Enter Ashley.**


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